Driving with Miss Cindy

Any time you let someone else do the driving, you are subject to their whims.

If a dreamer takes a back seat in her own car or relinquishes control to someone she barely knows, as today’s dreamer did, caution is called for.  Notice how the tone of her dream changes when she asserts her feelings.

Dear SMYD,

I have been living on my own for over a year now.  It’s good because my dad died and my mom couldn’t really afford to feed me.  The hard part is that I can’t always afford to feed myself!  I have two pretty good jobs and pay my rent on time every month, but my diet is mostly cereal and milk, mac and cheese and Top Ramen!  Not so good.

I have met a new friend at one of my jobs, “Cindy,” and we are talking about becoming roommates.  It would definitely help me to have someone share the rent and buy the groceries.  We are about the same age, but she is married, and they aren’t getting along.  So she needs a place to stay for a little while so she can think things over.

Last night I dreamed that Cindy was driving my car and I was riding in the back seat.  She seemed careless and I was concerned about her driving.  So I did some backseat driving of my own.  I warned her to look out for a curb and watch out when another car came too close.  She didn’t like my directions very much at first.  But soon we both relaxed and she drove us to a nice old foreign looking town.  We stopped there and had a good time.

Signed,

Riding Around with Cindy at the Wheel

Dear Riding,

Your dream offers two powerful metaphors that demand your attention.  Taking a back seat speaks clearly to the idea of putting yourself in the background in a relationship.  You do not say your exact age, but assuming you are quite young, perhaps it is normal to step back and observe how someone more worldly, a married woman, does things.  But the fact that you let her drive you – your car – can be worrisome.  Generally, it is not a good idea to let someone else run your life, especially someone you know so little about!

Still, you speak up for yourself when you feel uncomfortable with how things are going.  That is important for you to remember, Dear Dreamer.  Your dream suggests that when you assert yourself, Cindy will respond in such a way that you both can relax and be comfortable.

You wind up in a place you are both unfamiliar with, the foreign town.  The implication is that you both will learn some things you did not expect to learn and enjoy the ride as you do.  This bodes well for your time with Cindy so long as you watch the road closely and make your feelings known.  Just because you let her drive this time, doesn’t mean it’s OK to let her run your life!

Sweet Dreams to You!

How to heal a broken heart

Whenever we dream of our money, our valuables or the places we store them, that dream is not necessarily speaking about actual cash or jewelry, but something intangible we hold dear.  Then the setting or the outcome of the dream is most relevant.  What happens to your “stuff” and how you feel about it are keys to understanding your dream’s message.  Today’s dream shows the dreamer’s loss of everything out of her wallet, almost.

Dear SMYD,

My parents say that someone my age cannot experience true love.  Teenagers are too young to know the meaning of the word, so my mom says.  I know she is trying to help me get over being dumped by my boyfriend, but it doesn't help.  I am in pain, real pain!  Even my best friend just says to go out with other guys as a remedy.  I tried it with a really cute guy and broke out crying in the middle of the date!  “Just get over it!” is not working.  I am so sad every day and I don’t know what to do.

Now I have had this weird dream and it really bothered me.  Please tell me what you think it means:  Someone stole everything out of my wallet – my paycheck and my first credit card, everything!  I was so upset I cried and cried.  I was sobbing my eyes out until I suddenly realized that I still had my ID and pictures of my mom and dad and my brother.  For some reason then I knew that everything was going to be OK. 

Signed,

Broken Hearted

Dear Broken Hearted,

While it is not the same as a more mature, “eyes wide open” love, young love is real, and first love is most poignant.  A broken heart is painful no matter how old you are!

Many of us, young and older, put so much value into our relationship with a significant other that we lose a bit of who we are without that person.  We surrender too much of ourselves and think our lives have meaning only in relation to the other person.  This may be what your parents are trying to guard against.  They know that the best relationships most often come when two fully-formed, independent people decide to join forces.

Your dream suggests that you gave up a lot of yourself to be with the guy who dumped you.  When he left, he “stole” your most valued possession, your self-esteem.  At first, through your sobbing and grief, you thought you had lost your very identity.  But no, Dear Dreamer!  Your dream reveals that you still have your ID and your family, those who truly love and support you.

You have heard that time heals all wounds.  It truly does.  So while it seems impossible to you now, it is certain that you will emerge a stronger person and better partner in your next go-round.  As for the young man who hurt you, remember also that Time wounds all Heels.

Sweet Dreams to You!

Don't let the pond scum keep you down!

In dreams, animals that live below the surface can signify thoughts kept private.

When the action of a dream takes place underground or in the back yard, or behind any building, it suggests thoughts or a state of mind that is private or behind the scenes.  Today’s dream provides an example of how background can affect foreground.

Dear SMYD,

I dreamed that whales and dolphins were swimming in my backyard!  They were leaping and splashing, extremely playful and fun to watch.  I was thrilled, and so excited and happy to see them.  I knew they were a good sign, that they meant good things.  I couldn’t wait to tell my husband about them.  But I also felt frustrated when I tried to find him.

Then, when I went back to see the all the animals and to show them off, there weren’t as many there.  There weren’t any whales at all.  All that was left were seals and dolphins and they seemed less playful.  And the water had some scum in the corner nearest the house.  It was green like algae that forms on stagnant water.  This was upsetting to me.  I didn’t know what to do.

The next day, when I tried to talk to my husband about it, all he said was that I worry too much about pollution!  I am concerned about the environment, but even though the pond scum bothered me, I think the dream is about something else.  What do you make of it?

Signed,

Sad about the Whales

Dear Sad,

Your dream has selected an image and a concept that are important to you to draw attention another aspect of your life that may be languishing.

In your very own backyard, or below the surface of your consciousness, are playing some beautiful and powerful animals.  Whales and dolphins inspire awe not only fortheir wild beauty, but also for the intelligence we are learning more and more about.  Even in your dream you knew their appearance signaled positive things.  For you, this dream illustrates those powerful, positive and playful energies playing just below the surface.  You have kept this part of yourself behind the scenes, but now you’d like to show it off to the world.

The scum suggests a negative element creeps in and keeps you from expressing the joy and creativity that is thriving within you and ready to burst forth.  Don’t give in to pedestrian or pessimistic thoughts that seep into your mind, Dear Dreamer!  If allowed to expand, like the algae in your dream, they can suck the air out of your playful self, limit your creative impulses, and consign you to frustration and acceptance of the mundane.

Your husband mentioned your caring concern for the environment, and this may the appropriate focus for your talent and energy.  But you may also have an idea that you have not yet expressed to the outside world, something that you have dreamed of, but are shy to pursue.  Find anoutlet for this part of yourself and you find a richer life.

Sweet Dreams to You!

SMYD

Security doesn't always mean happiness

Our pets may appear in our dreams acting as an aspect of ourselves.  Is your pet courageous?  Always there to protect you?  Or, is she timid and afraid of her own shadow?  Her personality trait in your dream most likely points to a trait of your own that is helping you or holding you back.

Dear SMYD,

My mother is impatient with my love life.  She has thrown up her hands at me.  I was divorced more than 10 years ago and she wants to see me remarried, settled down and secure.  I have dated a few men since the divorce and mom has approved of every one.  But each one has had a personal habit or a character flaw that I did not want to live with.  She thinks I am too picky and unrealistic.

Now I have been dating Don for several months, and mom and I are going through the same argument.  She thinks I should marry him (he seems inclined to propose sometime soon) and I am feeling uncertain.  He is a good man, but holds on a little too tight if you know what I mean.

Here’s my dream:  I have Sweetie, my dog, under my arm and I am running toward a storm shelter.  Sweetie didn’t like what was happening and struggled to get free and run away.  I kept her with me knowing what was good for her – that she would be safe with me and that I would know where she was, which would make me feel better.

Storms were coming.  There were big clouds coming toward me.  They were white and the sun was also shining.  We had to run up a hill to the shelter.  A man was there showing us the way, waving his arms like he was directing traffic.  He looked kind of like Don.

So what do you make of this dream?

Signed,

Running from a Storm

Dear Running,

It seems clear that you and Sweetie have a prominent trait in common:  Neither of you likes to be held too closely or prevented from enjoying your freedom. 

In your dream, you force Sweetie to go with you toward the “shelter” where Don beckons.  But she struggles to free herself, even though you, or more likely the mother in you, purports to know what is good for her. 

What is there to run from, Dear Dreamer?  Sure, there are clouds in the sky, but white clouds on a sunny day, not dark threatening stormy clouds.  Why would you go into a shelter?  Don calls you to join him.  He clearly represents a safe place, but perhaps more safety than is called for.  That kind of “safety” can be stifling, as you already know. 

Your mother’s intentions are good, Dear Dreamer.  She “knows what’s good for you,” and for her that means security above all else.  But you, not she, will have to live in the confined space where Don controls the traffic.  Your dream says to trust your own instincts. 

Sweet Dreams to You!

Dream to Dreamer: Stay at your own peril!

Don't stay in an unhealthy situation until you need CPR!

Our dreams have a remarkable capacity to ferret out past experiences that parallel current circumstances.  A person, an event or a conversation may be the perfect fit to illustrate what is happening right now.  Today we find that without recognizing it, our dreamer has repeated her father’s unfortunate attitude toward work.

Dear Carolyn,

My dad made a crucial mistake:  He extended the time he worked in a job he hated because of the money.  He had to travel all the time and he was miserable being away from his home and family.  But he kept on working, saying he’d retire when his bank account was fat.  According to my mom they didn’t need the money; and he died from a heart attack while working.

He’s been gone almost five years, but now I have dreamed of him.  In the dream he was sitting at my desk at my job and working eagerly at the computer.  (He hated computers and so do I!)  When I saw him there, I said proudly, “That’s my dad!  Yes, he came back to life to do this work.” 

Our family sometimes makes a joke about a person who looks bad but is walking around among us.  It doesn’t seem too funny right now, but it is what I said next:  “We dug him up to do this job.”

Why in the world would I have this dream and say those things about my dad?

Signed,

Missing Dad

Dear Missing,

You offer a small hint as to why this dream is pertinent to you now:  Your dad hated computers and so do you.  He, or at least his attitude, sat at your desk doing your job!

Without more details we can only surmise, but it is worth considering this possible application of the dream:  Have you continued to work eagerly at a job that you hate?  Your mom says your dad did not need any more money, but he kept on in an unhappy situation because he set an artificial goal for himself.  He would not let himself retire or relax until that false goal was reached.  The sad irony came when he died on the job.

Your dream suggests that most likely, you have decided to bite the bullet in a similar way.  You are plugging away at something that is wrong for you and unnecessary to boot.  You do not have to continue, but like him, you do for an artificial reason.  Maybe you promised yourself or someone else that you would.  Maybe you have fabricated a goal that eludes you.  Or maybe you simply do not know what else to do. 

But your dream says it is time for you to take some serious stock, Dear Dreamer.  You may have persuaded yourself that you cannot quit something that you probably should quit.  You are not the only one on the planet who can do it.  Your pride in staying is misplaced.

Take care, so that your family does not have to dig you up to see you.

Sweet Dreams to You!

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Estrangement weighs heavily in mom's dream

Our dreams will sometimes take the questions and dilemmas we’re engaged in during the day and extrapolate on them.  Consider all components of such dreams rather than dismissing them as mere rehashes of the day’s worries. 

Every mother's goal is to keep her child safe.  But when he breaks free of her restraints, anxiety, uncertainty and guilt are sure to follow.

Dear SMYD,

I met this new man and I’m trying to decide what I should tell him about my son, “Burt.”  I loved dancing and playing with him, taking care of him, etc.  Those were good memories.  He's a grown man now and we are estranged, just FYI. 

I dreamt that Burt and I were in the bargain basement of a department store.  He was about 3-4 years of age. I had a harness and a leash on him.  (I never used a harness on him when he was a child.)  The leash became disengaged from the harness and like lightning, he was gone.  (He never "took off" like that when he was little, not until he was in his teens!) 

I cried; I looked; I asked for help; no one seemed to be concerned.  I went home and called the police, then went back to the store and called the powers that be at the store.  There were nondescript people around.  I kept saying to the uninterested parties, “but he's only a little boy, a baby.” 

It was really distressing and I was just trapped in the emotion.

Signed,

Upset Mom

Dear Upset,

By adulthood, all of us carry powerful feelings about the relationships in our lives, especially if those relationships ended differently from what we hoped or expected.  Your budding relationship with a new man provides the perfect backdrop for a review of your relationship with your estranged son.  Awake and asleep, you’re weighing how much to reveal to him and when. 

First, your dream is replaying the emotions you felt as the events in your relationship with Burt unfolded.  This puts you on notice that all those feelings are alive and well in you, in contrast to the selective “good memories” you mention, “just FYI.”

Also, your dream ignites the pain and guilt every parent feels when in that mode of replaying the past.  Burt got away from you.  “What went wrong?  What could I have done differently?”   Any parent can relate to that kind of circular, hurtful second guessing. 

That the setting of your dream is a "bargain basement" suggests a thought that somehow Burt is discounted or devalued or perhaps that a “cut rate” is in play if you don’t tell the whole story.  Don’t forget, your dream provides a dramatic illustration of the pain that is just below the surface for you.  If you attempt to share only the rosy memories, you discount the full picture.  Is it too soon to reveal so much of yourself to a new man?

The disinterested parties may represent the contrast between the heavy weight you place on the distress of estrangement and the level of concern and negative assessment you assume others will levy.  Go easy on yourself, Dear Dreamer!   Your self-judgment is harsh enough.

Sweet Dreams to You!

Your dreams are all you!

Your Dreaming Self has hundreds and even thousands of people to choose from when selecting the cast of characters for your dreams.  But s/he picks certain individuals because they fulfill the requirements of the story you need to be told.  It’s no accident that a neighbor you haven’t thought of in years appears in your dream instead of the good friend you see every day, or visa versa.  Today’s dream offers a good example.

Dear SMYD,

I know you always say that we dream about particular people for a reason, and I think it’s true.  But this dream still bothers me, and I can’t understand why these women came across the way they did. 

I dreamed about two different people that I know.  One of them, “Brenda,” I know from school.  She kind of acts tough, but is really a marshmallow.  I found this out about her once when I saw her being pushy and another person stood up to her.  She nearly collapsed!  She cried and practically ran away!

The other one, “Jackie,” lives in my neighborhood.  She is strong, athletic, blonde and confident.  She is smart and people listen to her.  She seems to get her way without even trying.  People just do what she wants and feel good about it!

In my dream, I was at work and Brenda was sitting at my desk.  Then Jackie walked up and I introduced these two women to each other.  Suddenly I thought that they were lesbians (I don’t think they are) and maybe they would “like” each other.  Sure enough, Brenda got all shy and Jackie started to flirt a little bit.  I thought to myself it was probably a good thing I introduced them to each other.

What does it mean that in my dream they’re lesbians?

Signed,

Straight Woman 

Dear Straight,

The background information you offered about each woman and the setting for your dream provide keys to understanding how it applies to you.

Think about the traits each woman portrays:  Brenda is a little bit of a bully, bluffing her way through things until someone calls her bluff.  Then she turns in fear and runs.  Jackie on the other hand, comes across as friendly and smart.  Her easy confidence carries every situation, putting people at ease, garnering their trust.  People want to follow her lead.

Most likely, Dear Dreamer, you will recognize these as your own traits.  Sometimes at work you try to push your way through, bluffing when you’re unsure of yourself or your position.  Your dream suggests that you might want to make the acquaintance of your more confident self.  Bring her to the forefront.  You’re smart and personable.  Those are the traits that will propel you into leadership roles.

A little self-love is called for by the concept of lesbianism.  Learn to acknowledge and appreciate both parts of yourself.  When you find yourself feeling unsure, take note.   It’s OK to say, “I don’t know.”  Let your confident self show the scaredy-cat how to interact when challenges arise.

Sweet Dreams to You!

Dreamer lets "Earl" keep her down

We do dream for others on occasion.  So, if you’ve had a dream that might be helpful for someone in it to know about, by all means, share it!  At the same time, chances are excellent that another layer of meaning from that dream will emerge for the dreamer as well.  Today’s dream is a good example.

Dear Carolyn,

There’s a girl at my school (“Pam”) that everyone tells me I look like.  I wish!  She’s cute and petite and she’s a cheerleader and even a class officer.  I won’t say I’m a nobody, but I am not as popular or well-known as she is.  I mostly just go about my business without being the center of attention.  I’m not exactly shy, but I just stay in the background.  I have a lot of classes with Pam again this year.  Now I’ve even dreamed about her!

In my dream this guy named Earl is bothering Pam.  He kind of hovers over her and tries to scare her.  He’s a lot bigger than she is and mean.  (I knew Earl in middle school and he was a total jerk.  He lied all the time and stole from everyone.  People hated him but tolerated him because they were afraid of him.)  So the dream just repeats itself where she hunkers down and just waits for him to do his thing.  He finally just quits and goes away, then she stands up and it starts all over again.  It’s weird because she’s smiling all the time!  She smiles even when she’s walking all bent over.

Signed,

Sorry for Pam

 

Dear Sorry,

It could be that Pam’s having a problem with a bully.  Even if she’s not, she might enjoy hearing about your dream.  After all she’s the star, right?

Or, more likely, you are the star of your dream, represented by Pam, the girl who looks like you and symbolizes the things you could accomplish.  Even if you deny that you look like Pam, could it be that in the back of your mind you have some things in common with her?  Perhaps you have kept yourself out of the spotlight unnecessarily.  Maybe you have traits, talents and skills that could put you in the forefront.  This is not to say that you would be just like Pam, but that like her, you could be a leader in your own realm.

Perhaps you have your own “Earl,” Dear Dreamer.  Chances are, Earl represents a part of yourself that lies to you and steals opportunities and experiences from you.  Have you passed up a chance to do something new?  Did you turn away from the prospect of leadership?  Earl hovers over you and prevents you from standing up straight and taking your rightful place among your peers.  When you listen to his negative self-talk, you limit yourself.  And why?  You’re not afraid of him.

Keep smiling and stand up to your inner bully!  You are a rising star!

Sweet Dreams to You!

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A bite out of dreamer's credit/credibility

Our dreams often provide multiple insights into our waking lives and states of mind.  For example, if your dream shows you a flat tire, it’s a good idea to check the tires on your car.  You’ll also want to consider a more symbolic meaning, perhaps that you’ve “gone flat” in your attitude, or your ability to move forward is impeded – you’re limping along.  Today’s dreamer brings a good example for our consideration:

Dear Carolyn,

I guess you could say I’ve hit a rough spell in my life.  First, I got laid off and had a hard time finding a new job.  After months of unemployment, and just when I was getting scared about spending my last dime, I got a great job.  I felt good until I made a stupid mistake at work. Now I think my new boss must be wondering why he hired me.  Instead of making him money, I’ve cost him money.  Now I’m keeping my head low.

So, I kind of get this dream, but I’d like to hear your take on it:  I saw my Visa card just floating in the air in front of me.  That’s all there was to it; nothing else except the card.  It was big, almost poster-sized, and maybe an inch thick.  I’m not sure what it was made of, but it had a big chunk off the corner, almost like a big bite out of it.  As it floated it turned and I had to duck to keep from being hit by it.  I remember feeling embarrassed when it bumped me.

Signed,

Shaky Credit

 

Dear Shaky,

Your one-image dream is a brief, but beautiful example of the depth of meaning than can be portrayed by a picture.  A credit card can be just that – a handy object used to allow us to purchase when we don’t have cash on hand.  It also can symbolize our standing as a trusted individual, one who has shown himself to be dependable in his promise to may later for a purchase today.

You mentioned that you were almost down to your last dime, Dear Dreamer.  Did you miss a payment or two, or send one in late?  Your dream suggests that your credit standing is damaged – a clear message to exercise caution where your credit is concerned.  Don’t allow yourself to get eaten up with high interest rates and burdensome bills.

In addition, the floating specter of a damaged credit card might be speaking to that awkward situation you mention at your new job:  Your credibility may have a bite taken out of it as well.  This is the kind of thing you must live down.  It takes time, patience and confidence.  Your new boss believed in you when he hired you.  One false step shouldn’t destroy everything.

It’s hard not to feel embarrassed.  You wanted to show your best self, but a gaffe has shaken your confidence.  Hold your head up, Dear Dreamer.  Otherwise, you could find yourself trying too hard and get bumped again.

Sweet Dreams to You!

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Fire breathing dragon consumes dreamer

Out of this world action and a play on words highlight today’s dream, offering insights for a young dreamer struggling with growing up and separating from his family.

Dear SMYD,

This qualifies as the weirdest dream I’ve ever had!

It was New Year’s Eve.  I was spending time with family in Las Vegas like we always do.  Then I told them that I have to get back to my place in LA.  

When I was in LA, it was still as bright as noon even though it was 1am.  Everyone looked up in the sky and was wondering why it was so bright.  It was because of this massive spacecraft!  

I was trying to leave the center of downtown LA, but for some reason it felt enchanted and I was unable to do so.  The spacecraft hovered around and the whole city turned dark.  It landed right on the sidewall of a huge building and showed its real form.  It was a dragon!  

It turned its head toward my direction and breathed out fire.  I just closed my eyes as I was being engulfed by the flames.  Then I woke up.  Scary!

Wonder what it means. 

Signed,

Scared by a Dragon

Dear Scared,

Your dream has many elements that offer clues to its significance for you.  As a start, your dream is set on New Year’s Eve, a time of resolutions and new beginnings; a time for reviewing the past and looking to the future.  In your dream, this is when you seem to be restless and make an unexpected break from your family.  You tell them you’re leaving the tradition of spending time in the way you always have.  You are going to your own home in LA.

You probably recognize the break with tradition you’ve made, at least mentally if not physically.  You've broken away from the routine.  Maybe you've had a change of heart or disagreement with them on some point.  Even though this is the normal order of things, for a young man to strike out on his own, this causes upset and discomfort for your family and for you.  Whatever it is, it’s as plain as day as shown by the bright daytime light in the middle of the night.  It’s obvious, and cannot be denied.

Your dream depicts the change as something "off the wall," ~ something odd or unusual ~ something unexpected (from outer space), nothing that you would expect to be doing or thinking or involved in, yet there it is.  It turns toward you and gives you a baptism by fire.  You are a changed man!

The scary thing for you is the idea that the new way of thinking, or the change of opinion will consume you, or burn you up, change your life so you cannot go back.  But you cannot un-ring the bell, Dear Dreamer.  You’ve made the move to be your own man, now go on and live your own life.

Sweet Dreams to You!

SMYD

sendmeyourdreams@yahoo.com          

Spiders in my dreams!

Sometimes the best place to start with understanding a dream is with its most vibrant image.  The spiders are the starting place in today’s dream, hands down!

Dear Carolyn,

I’ve had two dreams, back-to-back, about spiders!

First, I am looking for a place to live.  I am walking past a house but I see a spider web so I walk up the walk to see it better.  This is an enormous web - bigger than the doorway - and there are a lot of spiders.  The spiders are big too, about the size of a dinner plate and their eyes are so big.  I can see them watching me.  The web is very beautiful and intricate.  I do not fear the spiders; in fact I can sense they are afraid of me, so I don't want to stay because I am scaring them.  So, I walk off looking for a house that’s available.

Then last night’s dream:

I cannot remember how I got the spider, but I am trying to keep it in a Tupperware container.  Again, a big spider.  It is beige looking and has a hard body like an orb spider - or like a crab I guess - but is a spider.  I am at "school" and I am putting different material in the box to make the spider comfy.  I put some rocks in and then I am worried that they might hurt him.  So I am taking them out and putting other materials in there.  The spider keeps trying to get away; and I do not want him to get away.  I have no fear of the spider, just trying to make it comfortable and I just carry the box around school.

Signed,

Spiders in My Dreams!

Dear Spiders,

Your dreams seem to be speaking about a protective barrier represented by the spiders.  

In the first dream, contrary to many people’ reactions, you are drawn to the barrier established by the spiders’ web, calling it beautiful and intricate.  You even take steps to avoid disturbing the spiders, keeping the barrier in place.  You say you’re scaring them, but the fear of crossing that threshold is yours, Dear Dreamer! 

The spider barrier is that part of you that watches carefully, maybe not threatening, but nevertheless, restrictive and uninviting.  The spiders, like you, watch anyone approaching their door cautiously, even suspiciously.  Dear Dreamer, that caution and suspicion render the house (and you) unavailable. 

In the second dream, you carry around a spider, pampering it, trying to make it comfortable, worrying that it will escape.  But it wants to escape, suggesting you'd like to let it go.

On one hand you'd like to keep up the barrier, but that means living with hard things ~ the rocks~ (a hard heart?  a hard exterior?).  But on the other hand you have the fear of releasing the protection you think you need. 

It’s set in a school Dear Dreamer.  What have you learned from nurturing this defensive obstacle?

Sweet Dreams to You!

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Lost the babies!?!

Our dreams will sometimes play out an emotion or pattern of thinking we haven’t acknowledged on the waking level.  These dreams can be anxiety-laden and will recur if we push them out of consciousness because of our fears.  Today’s dream offers a perfect example of this.

Dear SMYD,

My wife and I have been happily married for almost five years.  The only thing missing in our marriage is children.  I’ve always wanted to be a dad! 

We tried to get pregnant for so long, we were beginning to think we’d have to go to extraordinary measures to have a child.  But as I’ve learned these things sometimes go, just as we made the first appointment with a fertility specialist, Bingo! my wife became pregnant!  

What a great, long-overdue surprise.  But that’s not all:  We’re having triplets!  No outside help!  They’re going to arrive in about six weeks and now I’ve had this scary dream:

I am in Target with our new babies.  I have them to myself.  My wife is not around.  It doesn’t seem like I even look away, but somehow, the babies are gone.  Missing!  I search frantically for them, find them; and they’re happy and fine.  And then they are missing again!  The dream just seems to repeat this same sequence, each time I am relieved, proud to be a dad, and then scared to death and filled with panic when the babies disappear!

I’ve been the protector and caretaker during this entire stressful process and now I’ve had this dream that has me being so careless!  I somehow lose our babies.  Please, say it ain’t so!

Signed,

Lost the Babies!

Dear Lost,

Put your mind to rest, Dear Dreamer!  It ain’t so!  You are not going to lose your babies in Target!  Your dream is simply playing out that subterranean part of yourself that’s understandably afraid of not being a perfect father. 

Think of it – with this pregnancy, everything in your life has fallen into place.  It’s all on target, you might say.  The only thing you’ve yearned for is now yours.

Every new parent is worried about how they will do in the most demanding and important role of all.  And, you have the unexpected blessing/surprise that not just one new baby is on the way, but three!  It’s really no wonder that both you and your wife would be anxious about that!

On top of the normal stress of impending fatherhood, you’ve been keeping a stiff upper lip for your wife, not allowing your fears to show and add to hers.  But you might as well acknowledge it, Dear Dreamer.  You’re normal and it’s normal to be worried about losing your babies in a discount store!  Or misplacing them at the mall.  Or forgetting them in the car. 

Your dream simply tells you that you’ll make mistakes, but barring true negligence, which is not in your nature, you’ll find your babies to be happy and fine.

You’ll be a great dad, Dear Dreamer!  Sweet Dreams to You!

SMYD

sendmeyourdreams@yahoo.com

Chasing youth

The things we seek in our dreams may reflect the things we yearn for in our waking lives.  Today’s dreamer offers a perfect example.

Dear SMYD,

In a dream I had a few days ago I was looking down at my own scalp from outside of my body as if I was examining the scalp of someone else.  My scalp had an enormous amount of light brown aging spots.  I was very uncomfortable with that.  (I currently have a few spots popping up as is to be expected as we get older.)

Then in my dream last night, I come across a baby deer and it is sitting still.  I reach for it and it doesn't feel threatened, as if it doesn't know that it should be afraid of me.  The fawn has now stood on all fours.  It is still unaware of my presence.  As I reach for it to pick it up I get a little nervous that I may startle it and it will run away and I won't be able to catch it.  My goal is to catch it and hold it close to me.  As I am looking at it, I can see light brown spots on it.  It seems to be a bit bloated and not as thin as regular baby deer.

I can see the outline and shape of its young body.  Its torso seems to be out of proportion to the head and legs.  The torso is large, almost swollen or bloated.  It seems odd to me and makes it a bit awkward as I pick it up.  Its extra weight seems to throw it off its center of gravity and as I lift it I have to adjust my own center of gravity so I don't lose my balance.  As I hold it close to me it feels awkward.  The experience of holding it is not like how I imagined it would be.  There is incongruence with what my mind perceived the experience would be like and what my body is actually experiencing.

Signed,

Trying to Catch a Fawn

 

Dear Fawn,

Both your dreams acknowledge your surprise along with some anxiety and discomfort as you recognize signs of aging in yourself.  When you have some perspective in the first dream, you must acknowledge the “age spots,” but they make you uncomfortable. 

In the second dream, the fawn, a symbol of your youth and innocence, is unaware of the older you.  You want to capture it and hold it close to you, but when you do catch it, you have that incongruent feeling: things aren't what you expected them to be.  You have to make adjustments to balance out the physical changes you encounter as you’re aging.  Your actual experiences are not what you expected and it throws you off. 

But not to worry, Dear Dreamer, it’s only the fawn’s body that’s out of proportion to its head.  Just like you, it thinks and feels young, but must adjust to the changes in its body!

Sweet Dreams to You!

SMYD