A leech from the past sucks at today's dreamer!

Recurring dreams can be among the most upsetting of dreams and by that same token, among the most helpful in moving a dreamer forward in her waking life.  Consider today’s example – a recurring dream of leeches sucking the lifeblood from our dreamer!

Dear SMYD,

A few nights ago I dreamed of an old boyfriend from way back in my past, “Johnny.”  I became so frustrated with him!  He got the idea early in his life that he didn’t have to work very hard.  At a young age he was already head and shoulders above any competitors.  Then, as he grew up and rose in the ranks, he found himself among others equally talented.  It was harder him to stand out.  But instead of working harder, his efforts became lackluster.  So he plateaued.  He lived on his laurels and outgrew them.  Instead of sending him to the top of his game, his talents and early success sent him on a low trajectory. 

For whatever reason, I dream of him two or three times a year!  The dreams vary a little, but most of them are like the one this week:  I feel an itch and look down and see that to my horror, a leech is clamped onto to my arm.  When I pull it off, I see that it has Johnny’s face!  As soon as I throw it away, another one is sucking at my leg or my breast or my neck.  They all have his face.  I push them away and struggle with them, but they keep coming back, sucking at me.

Signed,

Creeped Out by Leaches

Dear Creeped Out,

While you don’t mention that you have a similar talent or the same level of early success that Johnny had, it seems likely that you do.  After all, your dream is suggesting that you parallel him in pattern of behavior.  Whatever it is in you that gives in too quickly and resists working hard when the going gets tough is very Johnny-like.  It is sucking at you, draining your lifeblood, your vigor and your chances for greater success in your chosen endeavors.

If you do not recognize the similarity between yourself and Johnny immediately, here’s a method that will help you pin it down:  You’ve just had ‘the dream.’  Write it down along with the events and circumstances of your waking life.  Chances are excellent that something’s going on that has you feeling defeated.  You just don’t have any more energy to give it.  Face it.  That’s what Johnny said to himself.  Why try when it’s so hard?

Still not ringing a bell?  That’s OK.  Wait until the dream comes again.  Write it down again along with the current events and circumstances.  You will begin to see quickly that this dream comes when you are in your “Johnny mode” of giving up instead of trying harder to achieve the goals to which you give lip service.

You must break this habit Dear Dreamer or your trajectory will flatten as well.

Sweet Dreams to You!

Sex, death and automobiles!

In anticipation of the 31^st Annual Conference of the International Association for the Study of Dreams, to be held at the Doubletree Hotel at the Berkeley Marina, June 4-8, 2014, let’s take a look at some timeless insights into dream meaning by the Reverend JeremyTaylor, Co-Founder and Past President of the IASD.

Dear Dreamers,

You most likely have known me to dissuade you from subscribing to any source of information about dreams that claims to know definitively that “if you dream ‘this’ it means ‘this.’”

Dreams are too personal and too complex to be reduced to such simplistic terms!

But, having said that, we can look to certain archetypal images that occur in dreams across the spectrum of dreamers.  Even their implications for an individual dreamer cannot be summed up in a pat “definition;” but as former President of the International Association for the Study of Dreams, Reverend Jeremy Taylor says, their metaphorical message “turns out to be true so often, that it’s worth asking if it might be true” for the current dream you’re working on. 

Keeping mindful of the already-stated caveat, Taylor goes on to discuss several dream images with which you are no doubt are familiar:

1.      1.  Vehicles, specifically automobiles:  These will frequently provide analogies to the physical self.  If something is wrong with your car in your dream, it is a good starting place to look for a corresponding physical symptom in your own body.  Or, there may be a literal tie to your actual, waking-life automobile.  Brakes fail in your dream; check your brakes in your waking life.

      2.   Death:  In our dreams, is not to be feared.  Death represents a dramatic change through emotional growth.  You cannot grow up and become, let’s say, a more empathetic person until you experience the death of your self-centered, uncaring self.  Even dreams of suicide speak to our deliberate choice to change our way of being in waking life.  In effect, death is the necessary precursor to rebirth as a “new, improved” person!

3.     3. Sex:  Almost always, overt sex in our dreams will be addressing a longing in our waking life.  Here it is important to spend time understanding our sex partner.  If your dreaming self has you in an intimate embrace with a former professional colleague, for example, it will be helpful to think about the salient qualities that person has.  Your dream suggests that you are longing to make them your own.  According to Taylor, dreams of same sex love or attraction reflect your own deepening sense of self-acceptance.

There are, of course, many more archetypal images that frequent our dreams.  Beginning your exploration with such timeless approaches is a sure gateway to understanding your dreams.  From there, dream work shifts naturally to the personal application that will change your thinking and change your life!

If you can attend the IASD Conference in Berkeley, by all means do!  You will have a rich and worthwhile experience.  In any case, please continue to Send Me Your Dreams!

Sweet Dreams to You!

sendmeyourdreams@yahoo.com

Dreamer throws hand grenade down the storm drain!

If your dream presents you with an explosion or even the potential for one, you must pay close attention to its implications.  Today’s dreamer seems out of harm’s way, but still should validate that conclusion with her doctor.

Dear SMYD,

At a reunion recently, I sat at the kitchen table with four generations of women from my family.  I had a great time except for learning one extremely troubling thing:  My mom and aunts and grandma all talked about a debilitating condition that they say runs in our family.  I know it’s partly superstition, but now I’m really scared.

Then I dreamed I was standing on a metal grid over a storm drain.  I was with another woman who was dressed as though she was from the 30’s.  She wore a big wool camel-colored coat with broad padded shoulders.  She had auburn hair in a 1930’s coif.  She was beautiful with perfect skin and red lips.  We were standing side-by-side on this grid over a storm drain.  It must have rained - the streets were wet.

Then a young man came and handed her something.  I could see that it was a hand grenade and he had pulled the pin.  It had that lever on the side that when released would allow it to explode.  Somehow I got it from her and pushed it between the metal bars of the grid.

It started to fall and I knew it was going to explode below us.  But it continued to fall for a long, long, long time.  When it finally did explode it was so far below us that it was amazing.  We had no idea the drainpipe was so long and deep.  We heard it explode and could see the flash of the explosion, but we were unharmed and laughed a little laugh of relief.

Signed,

Family Bombshell

Dear Bombshell,

Your dream seems to speak about the things deep in your family history -  from grandmother’s generation and earlier - that you are worried could be harmful to you.  You are standing there with someone who could be your grandmother, looking beautiful and perfect, when this bomb arrives, similar to the way the news was delivered to you at the table.

You mention your belief that the condition your family members referred to is mostly superstition.  So in your dream, you stuff it into the drain pipe even though you know it is going to explode.  This is not your best plan of action.  While you do not want to assume a literal meaning for your dream, it is prudent to respond to all possibilities.  Check with your doctor about the condition and its propensity to follow families.  Then you can set your mind at ease.

Happily, in your dream the explosion is so deep, so far below, it is essentially harmless.  This is most likely the outcome you will find as you complete your due diligence in researching with your doctor.  Then you can again laugh that little laugh of relief.

Sweet Dreams to You, Dear Dreamer!

Driving with Miss Cindy

Any time you let someone else do the driving, you are subject to their whims.

If a dreamer takes a back seat in her own car or relinquishes control to someone she barely knows, as today’s dreamer did, caution is called for.  Notice how the tone of her dream changes when she asserts her feelings.

Dear SMYD,

I have been living on my own for over a year now.  It’s good because my dad died and my mom couldn’t really afford to feed me.  The hard part is that I can’t always afford to feed myself!  I have two pretty good jobs and pay my rent on time every month, but my diet is mostly cereal and milk, mac and cheese and Top Ramen!  Not so good.

I have met a new friend at one of my jobs, “Cindy,” and we are talking about becoming roommates.  It would definitely help me to have someone share the rent and buy the groceries.  We are about the same age, but she is married, and they aren’t getting along.  So she needs a place to stay for a little while so she can think things over.

Last night I dreamed that Cindy was driving my car and I was riding in the back seat.  She seemed careless and I was concerned about her driving.  So I did some backseat driving of my own.  I warned her to look out for a curb and watch out when another car came too close.  She didn’t like my directions very much at first.  But soon we both relaxed and she drove us to a nice old foreign looking town.  We stopped there and had a good time.

Signed,

Riding Around with Cindy at the Wheel

Dear Riding,

Your dream offers two powerful metaphors that demand your attention.  Taking a back seat speaks clearly to the idea of putting yourself in the background in a relationship.  You do not say your exact age, but assuming you are quite young, perhaps it is normal to step back and observe how someone more worldly, a married woman, does things.  But the fact that you let her drive you – your car – can be worrisome.  Generally, it is not a good idea to let someone else run your life, especially someone you know so little about!

Still, you speak up for yourself when you feel uncomfortable with how things are going.  That is important for you to remember, Dear Dreamer.  Your dream suggests that when you assert yourself, Cindy will respond in such a way that you both can relax and be comfortable.

You wind up in a place you are both unfamiliar with, the foreign town.  The implication is that you both will learn some things you did not expect to learn and enjoy the ride as you do.  This bodes well for your time with Cindy so long as you watch the road closely and make your feelings known.  Just because you let her drive this time, doesn’t mean it’s OK to let her run your life!

Sweet Dreams to You!

Dreamer worries about losing her head at work

Anne Boleyn lost her head, perhaps because she failed to understand the politics in Henry VIII's castle.  But today's dreamer has a good role model to help her avoid the pitfalls  at work.

Today’s dreamer has taken big steps toward putting her dream into the context of her waking life events.  We can readily see how her dream offers insights into her new job and the office politics she fears.

Dear Carolyn,

I had a dream about navigating customs at a Turkish airport.  A manager from my real-life office, a woman of Middle Eastern ancestry, helped me through customs in my dream world.  There was a bathroom at the airport with make-up bottles that women had thrown away because they knew they could not take liquid make-up through customs.  There was a maze-like hallway in the dream with switchbacks and dead ends.  The bathroom was at the end of one of these turnaround points.

 In real life, this particular woman from the dream seems to be one of the up and comers, one of the insiders in my new office situation where a surprising number of seemingly good individuals (in my judgment) have been re-assigned, demoted, or have resigned recently.  Could it be that things are not always what they seem on the surface, whether it is a woman painted with make-up or a people engaged in office politics?  Will it help to stop wearing make up to work?  Or, could it be that make-up is a metaphor for wearing a game face or not wearing make-up could be a metaphor for being my authentic self?  Just curious.  In real life, I realize there will always be office politics, but it always makes me shiver a bit when the axe falls and heads roll.  Now I know how Anne Boleyn must have felt.  Please don't use my real name in your column.  I would hate to lose my head by someone else's hand!  I have enough trouble keeping it on my shoulders.  

Signed,

The Queen’s Sister

Dear Sister,

You have many good leads to follow in your dream and your insights are right on track. 

You mention that you are in a new job and the manager who guides you in your dream is helping you “navigate customs.”  Consider it a play on words.  Rather than the literal meaning of passing through airport customs, you have to learn the norms and conventions – the customs – of your new workplace.  Happily, you have a guide or role model who is an “up and comer, an office insider” who knows the pitfalls of the terrain.  Follow her example.

You don’t have to stop wearing your make-up to work!  Rather, your dream suggests that you should be yourself, and you can do that with your make-up on as usual.  True, we all have game faces, or work faces that differ from our casual faces.  We adjust our manners and mannerisms to the various situations in which we operate during the course of a day.   

Be yourself, work diligently and you will fare well in your new environment – so long as you don’t dally with the King!

Sweet Dreams to You!

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Dreamer test drives a re-marriage

Dreams of driving a car are often dreams about how we move along the roads of life.  How the car handles the curves may speak to how the driver manages the challenges of daily life.  Today’s dreamer has a test drive of a car she used to own as she considers going back to a life she used to live.

Dear SMYD,

My husband “Ray” and I split up about a year and a half ago.  It was about as amiable as a divorce can be, especially since I broke his heart.  Maybe it was amiable because I broke his heart!  I think he wanted to keep everything friendly and easy so it wouldn’t spoil the chances of our getting back together.  He told me he has always held out hope of that.

We have been talking lately and going for coffee, things like that, all very public, nothing serious or intimate in any way.  I can tell he still wants us to remarry.  I’m not sure how I feel about it.

Now here’s my dream:  I bought a new car, but it was my old car, the one I drove when Ray and I were married.  It was waiting for me in a parking lot.  When I got in it, it was cramped and seemed a lot smaller than I remembered it.  But I adjusted the seat and was comfortable enough. 

I drove it fast over dirt roads and muddy roads.  I skimmed over ruts and potholes, slippery spots and puddles.  The car became a go-cart and I was grumpy about it because there wasn’t much to it.  I was annoyed that I might be splashed by one of the puddles, but the water splashed away from me.  In the end,  I was surprised and pleased that the little car made it through everything, handled so well, and was comfortable overall.

Signed,

Car Shopping

Dear Car Shopping,

As you describe him, it seems that Ray has been in a holding pattern since your split, hoping to get back with you.  You might say he was in a parking lot, like the car in your dream.  It is the car you drove when you were together.  And now, as you are giving Ray a second look, your dream represents this as taking that car, Ray, for a test drive! 

The car is different from the way you remember it, just as a second marriage might be different.  For one thing, it seems cramped at first.  But when you make an adjustment, you are comfortable.  Maybe the first time around you were unnecessarily grumpy because you expected more than you truly needed.  Perhaps you were the pessimist, expecting to be splashed before you saw which way the water would fly.

Keep in mind Dear Dreamer – you would need to adjust yourself to make things work with Ray.  If you do that, you could travel many a road nimbly and in pleasant and surprising contentment.

Sweet Dreams to You!

SMYD

sendmeyourdreams@yahoo.com

How to heal a broken heart

Whenever we dream of our money, our valuables or the places we store them, that dream is not necessarily speaking about actual cash or jewelry, but something intangible we hold dear.  Then the setting or the outcome of the dream is most relevant.  What happens to your “stuff” and how you feel about it are keys to understanding your dream’s message.  Today’s dream shows the dreamer’s loss of everything out of her wallet, almost.

Dear SMYD,

My parents say that someone my age cannot experience true love.  Teenagers are too young to know the meaning of the word, so my mom says.  I know she is trying to help me get over being dumped by my boyfriend, but it doesn't help.  I am in pain, real pain!  Even my best friend just says to go out with other guys as a remedy.  I tried it with a really cute guy and broke out crying in the middle of the date!  “Just get over it!” is not working.  I am so sad every day and I don’t know what to do.

Now I have had this weird dream and it really bothered me.  Please tell me what you think it means:  Someone stole everything out of my wallet – my paycheck and my first credit card, everything!  I was so upset I cried and cried.  I was sobbing my eyes out until I suddenly realized that I still had my ID and pictures of my mom and dad and my brother.  For some reason then I knew that everything was going to be OK. 

Signed,

Broken Hearted

Dear Broken Hearted,

While it is not the same as a more mature, “eyes wide open” love, young love is real, and first love is most poignant.  A broken heart is painful no matter how old you are!

Many of us, young and older, put so much value into our relationship with a significant other that we lose a bit of who we are without that person.  We surrender too much of ourselves and think our lives have meaning only in relation to the other person.  This may be what your parents are trying to guard against.  They know that the best relationships most often come when two fully-formed, independent people decide to join forces.

Your dream suggests that you gave up a lot of yourself to be with the guy who dumped you.  When he left, he “stole” your most valued possession, your self-esteem.  At first, through your sobbing and grief, you thought you had lost your very identity.  But no, Dear Dreamer!  Your dream reveals that you still have your ID and your family, those who truly love and support you.

You have heard that time heals all wounds.  It truly does.  So while it seems impossible to you now, it is certain that you will emerge a stronger person and better partner in your next go-round.  As for the young man who hurt you, remember also that Time wounds all Heels.

Sweet Dreams to You!

Don't let the pond scum keep you down!

In dreams, animals that live below the surface can signify thoughts kept private.

When the action of a dream takes place underground or in the back yard, or behind any building, it suggests thoughts or a state of mind that is private or behind the scenes.  Today’s dream provides an example of how background can affect foreground.

Dear SMYD,

I dreamed that whales and dolphins were swimming in my backyard!  They were leaping and splashing, extremely playful and fun to watch.  I was thrilled, and so excited and happy to see them.  I knew they were a good sign, that they meant good things.  I couldn’t wait to tell my husband about them.  But I also felt frustrated when I tried to find him.

Then, when I went back to see the all the animals and to show them off, there weren’t as many there.  There weren’t any whales at all.  All that was left were seals and dolphins and they seemed less playful.  And the water had some scum in the corner nearest the house.  It was green like algae that forms on stagnant water.  This was upsetting to me.  I didn’t know what to do.

The next day, when I tried to talk to my husband about it, all he said was that I worry too much about pollution!  I am concerned about the environment, but even though the pond scum bothered me, I think the dream is about something else.  What do you make of it?

Signed,

Sad about the Whales

Dear Sad,

Your dream has selected an image and a concept that are important to you to draw attention another aspect of your life that may be languishing.

In your very own backyard, or below the surface of your consciousness, are playing some beautiful and powerful animals.  Whales and dolphins inspire awe not only fortheir wild beauty, but also for the intelligence we are learning more and more about.  Even in your dream you knew their appearance signaled positive things.  For you, this dream illustrates those powerful, positive and playful energies playing just below the surface.  You have kept this part of yourself behind the scenes, but now you’d like to show it off to the world.

The scum suggests a negative element creeps in and keeps you from expressing the joy and creativity that is thriving within you and ready to burst forth.  Don’t give in to pedestrian or pessimistic thoughts that seep into your mind, Dear Dreamer!  If allowed to expand, like the algae in your dream, they can suck the air out of your playful self, limit your creative impulses, and consign you to frustration and acceptance of the mundane.

Your husband mentioned your caring concern for the environment, and this may the appropriate focus for your talent and energy.  But you may also have an idea that you have not yet expressed to the outside world, something that you have dreamed of, but are shy to pursue.  Find anoutlet for this part of yourself and you find a richer life.

Sweet Dreams to You!

SMYD

Security doesn't always mean happiness

Our pets may appear in our dreams acting as an aspect of ourselves.  Is your pet courageous?  Always there to protect you?  Or, is she timid and afraid of her own shadow?  Her personality trait in your dream most likely points to a trait of your own that is helping you or holding you back.

Dear SMYD,

My mother is impatient with my love life.  She has thrown up her hands at me.  I was divorced more than 10 years ago and she wants to see me remarried, settled down and secure.  I have dated a few men since the divorce and mom has approved of every one.  But each one has had a personal habit or a character flaw that I did not want to live with.  She thinks I am too picky and unrealistic.

Now I have been dating Don for several months, and mom and I are going through the same argument.  She thinks I should marry him (he seems inclined to propose sometime soon) and I am feeling uncertain.  He is a good man, but holds on a little too tight if you know what I mean.

Here’s my dream:  I have Sweetie, my dog, under my arm and I am running toward a storm shelter.  Sweetie didn’t like what was happening and struggled to get free and run away.  I kept her with me knowing what was good for her – that she would be safe with me and that I would know where she was, which would make me feel better.

Storms were coming.  There were big clouds coming toward me.  They were white and the sun was also shining.  We had to run up a hill to the shelter.  A man was there showing us the way, waving his arms like he was directing traffic.  He looked kind of like Don.

So what do you make of this dream?

Signed,

Running from a Storm

Dear Running,

It seems clear that you and Sweetie have a prominent trait in common:  Neither of you likes to be held too closely or prevented from enjoying your freedom. 

In your dream, you force Sweetie to go with you toward the “shelter” where Don beckons.  But she struggles to free herself, even though you, or more likely the mother in you, purports to know what is good for her. 

What is there to run from, Dear Dreamer?  Sure, there are clouds in the sky, but white clouds on a sunny day, not dark threatening stormy clouds.  Why would you go into a shelter?  Don calls you to join him.  He clearly represents a safe place, but perhaps more safety than is called for.  That kind of “safety” can be stifling, as you already know. 

Your mother’s intentions are good, Dear Dreamer.  She “knows what’s good for you,” and for her that means security above all else.  But you, not she, will have to live in the confined space where Don controls the traffic.  Your dream says to trust your own instincts. 

Sweet Dreams to You!

Dreamers are not alone!

Famous dreamer John Lennon

Dear Dreamers,

Can you think of anyone you know who hasn’t puzzled over the cryptic images of a dream?  Research shows that everyone dreams every night!  Some say they never remember their dreams.  Too bad for them!  They’re missing a wealth of readily available revelations and inventiveness. 

References to dreams are all around us and have been since the beginning of time.  Cultures across the globe, from primitive to advanced, have reported their dreams and relied on them to be visionary and stimulating in every facet of life. 

So the current fascination with dreams in the United States is not new, but dreams are ever fresh and rich in layers of meaning, as well as a deep reservoir of inspiration.

Consider these examples of creativity based in the dreams of well-known artists:  Both John Lennon and Paul McCartney attribute the source of some of their extensive playlist to their dreams.  For example, John Lennon said that he heard the lyrics to his song “#9 Dream,” in a dream.  And his writing partner Paul McCartney attributes the tune for “Yesterday,” his most often covered song, to a dream.  He woke with it complete in his mind, went straight to the piano and worked it out on the keyboard.

Perhaps not surprisingly, the dreamlike artwork of Salvador Dali was inspired by his dreams.  One of his most famous works, “Persistence of Memory,” depicts Dali’s conception of time as it felt in his dreams.  Indeed, Dali expressed his deep reverence for dreams when he said, “One day it will have to be officially admitted that what we have christened reality is an even greater illusion than the world of dreams,”

Acclaimed filmmaker Christopher Nolan, of “Matrix” among others, credits his experiences with lucid dreams for the inspiration for his expansive and complex movie about lucid dreaming, “Inception.”  In both films, Nolan, much like Dali, challenges the traditional concepts of dreaming and waking, depicting them as interchangeable, each influencing the other.  

          

When he was recovering from critical injuries suffered after being hit by a minivan while on his evening constitutional, Stephen King got the idea for his story “Dreamcatcher” from a series of dreams he had about four guys in a cabin in the woods.  One cannot help wondering if all those scary stories King wrote reflect many years of nightmares!

Even this tiny sample from the arts makes it clear that all of us who marvel at our nightly sojourns are in good company.  The quality and caliber of those who ponder dreams and are inspired by them is exemplary.  You are among the stars, Dear Dreamers!

To expand your dreaming horizons even more, I suggest exploring the International Association for the Study of Dreams at www.asdreams.org.  There you will find depth and breadth in the investigation of dreams, from the clinical analysis of the biological and psychological origins of dreams, to the soaring spiritual implications of our universal, human experience.

Sweet Dreams to you, Dear Dreamers!

SMYD

sendmeyourdreams@yahoo.com

Vehicles in our dreams often speak to our modes of operating or negotiating the obstacles we encounter in life.  If the wheels are flat or damaged our ability to move through difficult times is compromised.  The bicycle in today’s dream is a good example:

Dear SMYD,

Years ago I worked with a young man whom I’ll call “Steven.”  He was smart and handsome and had a big heart.  But he seemed to have a hole inside that he couldn’t fill.  He wanted to be loved, but never seemed to understand that he was loved and even admired by his peers.  My heart ached for him!

I’ve had a big emotional blow recently, and now I have dreamed about Steven.  Seeing him again, even in a dream, got me feeling worried like I did back when I was trying to help him see that his glass was half full, and that everything would ultimately be OK.

In the dream, Steven came to me asking if I would buy his bicycle.  He didn’t really want to sell it, but he needed the money.  I didn’t need a bicycle, but I gave him $50 for it as a charity.  I stored the bike in a beautiful, well-appointed area, but the public had access to it, and someone damaged it.  When Steven came back wanting to buy his bicycle, its front wheel was bent and warped and had no tire. 

I felt bad but defended my actions saying after all, the bike was mine.  Only then did I realize that a better way to have helped Steven would have been to buy the bike and then ask him to keep it for me.  That way he could have the money he needed and his bike in good condition.  And I could feel strong and smart and magnanimous for helping him on his way. 

Then, the most amazing thing happened:  The dream replayed with this alternate ending!  Isn’t that the happiest ending ever!

Signed,

Do Over

Dear Do Over,

It appears that you were a counselor of some sort when you knew Steven.  You could see all the solid and empowering qualities he embodied, even if he couldn’t see them.  Your task and goal was to help him and support him as he found his way to equilibrium.

Now, your task is to help yourself in a similar way.  But, having experienced an emotional blow that has you feeling weakened and needy like Steven, your dream shows you giving yourself what might be considered half  ($50 – only 50%) of the same support that you need.

The bicycle in your dream suggests your balance is clearly compromised because of the shock you have been dealt.  You must be wobbling, reeling from the blow.

Like Steven, you may not recognize that you too are smart, handsome and have a big heart.  Give yourself 100% of the self-love and self-confidence you deserve.  When you accept it, you will be able to cruise past this setback with ease.

Sweet Dreams to You, Dear Dreamer!

SMYD

Dream to Dreamer: Stay at your own peril!

Don't stay in an unhealthy situation until you need CPR!

Our dreams have a remarkable capacity to ferret out past experiences that parallel current circumstances.  A person, an event or a conversation may be the perfect fit to illustrate what is happening right now.  Today we find that without recognizing it, our dreamer has repeated her father’s unfortunate attitude toward work.

Dear Carolyn,

My dad made a crucial mistake:  He extended the time he worked in a job he hated because of the money.  He had to travel all the time and he was miserable being away from his home and family.  But he kept on working, saying he’d retire when his bank account was fat.  According to my mom they didn’t need the money; and he died from a heart attack while working.

He’s been gone almost five years, but now I have dreamed of him.  In the dream he was sitting at my desk at my job and working eagerly at the computer.  (He hated computers and so do I!)  When I saw him there, I said proudly, “That’s my dad!  Yes, he came back to life to do this work.” 

Our family sometimes makes a joke about a person who looks bad but is walking around among us.  It doesn’t seem too funny right now, but it is what I said next:  “We dug him up to do this job.”

Why in the world would I have this dream and say those things about my dad?

Signed,

Missing Dad

Dear Missing,

You offer a small hint as to why this dream is pertinent to you now:  Your dad hated computers and so do you.  He, or at least his attitude, sat at your desk doing your job!

Without more details we can only surmise, but it is worth considering this possible application of the dream:  Have you continued to work eagerly at a job that you hate?  Your mom says your dad did not need any more money, but he kept on in an unhappy situation because he set an artificial goal for himself.  He would not let himself retire or relax until that false goal was reached.  The sad irony came when he died on the job.

Your dream suggests that most likely, you have decided to bite the bullet in a similar way.  You are plugging away at something that is wrong for you and unnecessary to boot.  You do not have to continue, but like him, you do for an artificial reason.  Maybe you promised yourself or someone else that you would.  Maybe you have fabricated a goal that eludes you.  Or maybe you simply do not know what else to do. 

But your dream says it is time for you to take some serious stock, Dear Dreamer.  You may have persuaded yourself that you cannot quit something that you probably should quit.  You are not the only one on the planet who can do it.  Your pride in staying is misplaced.

Take care, so that your family does not have to dig you up to see you.

Sweet Dreams to You!

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