Ethereal connection or wish fulfillment?

Our Dreamer Writes:

Dear SMYD,

Hi!  I came across your site this morning and I just have to tell you this story!

Fifteen years ago I got married for the 2nd time and that night I dreamt of a man (not my husband).  We were standing in a beautiful garden and it was light at night.  I was holding a silver tray and this man came to me and said in such a gentle voice, "My wife let me carry this tray."  

And in my dream we had some sort of function at our home that night in this beautiful garden.  The clothing that we wore showed in my dream that it could have been around the 1800’s.  Even the tray was a tray from that time period.  And there was wealth around us in the dream.  I also felt so happy and content and there was such a bond between us that when I woke up the next day I still could feel this strong bond.

At the time I definitely didn’t know this man in reality.  But exactly 15 years later we moved into a new home and who moves in next door... the man who I saw in my dream 15 years earlier!  Same hands, same voice, same build and height.  He even has the same face and eyes. 

Can you shed any light on this for me?  I’d appreciate it more than you will ever know.  Thanks for your time!  

Signed,

Met the Mysterious Stranger!

 

Dear Met,

Accounts of dreamers throughout history include dreams such as yours that seem to speak to something ethereal:  A beautiful garden that is light even in nighttime.  Wealth, whether spiritual or material.  A super sort of being or person who soothes and comforts by his or her presence.  And a connection or bond to all this, infusing it all with a heavenly quality.  Many documented dreams appear to defy the bounds of time and space.

The dream from your wedding night had a just such a powerful impact!  Those experiences of another time and magical place left you with a lasting and peaceful state of mind.  The bond you awoke with kept your dream’s ambience alive for many years.  Some would say that your dream is indicative of making a connection with a kindred spirit, a protective companion on another level. 

Indeed, your dream has the hallmarks of contact with a caring spirit or companion.  Since you offer few details of your current circumstances, the appearance now of a man so closely resembling the “man of your dreams” has me wondering.  Are you presently in a position to be yearning for such comfort and companionship?  If so, it would be easy to point to this dream as justification for changes you might otherwise not make.  If you’re secure in your relationship with your husband, consider the appearance of your dream’s guardian angel as comfort and encouragement in your new home.

Sweet Dreams to You, Dear Dreamer!

SMYD

Don't get rushed into sex, Grandma!

Our Dreamer Writes:

Dear SMYD,

“Don” and I have been dating only a short while.  We are both “single again” after painful break-ups of long-standing relationships.  We are not children or even young people any more.  We’re both grandparents!  But it’s surprising to me how quickly emotions rise; and I’ve begun to imagine the long-term possibilities for the two of us. 

But even though I like him very much and find him extremely attractive in every way, I’m exercising a lot of caution.  I don’t want to rush into a physical relationship that I might regret.  So here’s my dream:

Don and I go to his apartment to look at his paintings (he is an artist).  There are teenagers there and other young adults.  I guess it’s a party of some kind.  Everyone there seems excited and happy, dancing and drinking, trying to get me to join in.  I didn’t expect this to be going on. 

Before I realize it, Don has left me alone in the room with all these young people!  I certainly didn’t expect him to do that!  I don’t know any of them and it’s awkward.  I don’t know what to say or do, and they don’t either.  Then, it seems I’m supposed to change clothes to be more comfortable or fit in with this younger crowd.  That’s when I wake up feeling confused and alone. 

Signed,

Single Again

 

Dear Single,

You remember the old cliché` about the man with shady intentions who invites the innocent young woman up to his place “to see his etchings”?  Your dream sets the stage for your feelings in just such a way!  Don is a painter, and invites you to see his paintings just as the spider says, “Come into my parlor,” to the fly.  Of course the difference is that you’re not so young, and presumably not so innocent!

Nevertheless, the circumstances in which your dream places you reflect the trepidations you feel in your waking life.  Though you acknowledge that both you and Don have been around this block before, you also are feeling awkward, out of place and uncomfortable at the “party” to which you’ve been invited. 

To join in the party, you would have to make some changes.  To use another cliché, you’ll have to change into something more comfortable – a different mindset built on trust.  Your dream suggests you’re not quite ready to do that.

Don is out of the room during your dilemma giving rise to the question, where is he in the process of seeking intimacy?  It’s not a one-person proposition, after all.  As adults, perhaps the two of you could have a grownup conversation about what’s on your mind. 

Share your anxieties, Dear Dreamer.  Tell Don your plan to proceed with caution and why you want it that way.  Find out if he respects your need for trust, comfort and security.  His answers will allow you to relax; or your instincts will tell you to run!

Sweet Dreams to You!

SMYD

Biker Mamma's Dilemma

Our Dreamer Writes:

Dear SMYD,

I’ve been in a relationship with “Bob” for over a year now.  It seems pretty lopsided to me.  He says he likes things the way they are, and claims not to understand my impatience with him.  This “discussion” goes around and around, and we never really get anywhere. 

Then last night I dreamed that I was riding a Harley Davidson Sportster and Bob was on the back.  He wanted me to stop at a convenience store so he could buy a newspaper.  Bob goes in, buys a paper, comes back out and gets on the back of the bike again.  I try to get the bike started so we can get back out on the road, but the bike has a “kill switch” that has to be deactivated every time you turn the engine off and want to restart it.  Also, there’s a gas hose on the handlebars that is pouring gasoline out of the bike and onto the pavement around us. 

And on top of all that, Bob just sits there with his feet on the buddy pegs and the paper under his arm!  His weight makes the bike awkward and hard to balance.  Then, the gas on the ground ignites and I have to wobble the bike away to avoid the potential disaster.  The dream ends as I’m frantically maneuvering from place to place to get away from each new fire.

Signed,

Biker Mamma in My Dreams

 

Dear Biker Mamma,

Your dream presents a graphic and emotional situation to illustrate your state of mind concerning your relationship with Bob.  In it, you are the driver, the one who wants to get going, and in fact is moving along.  You have a sporty and powerful motorcycle for your road trip and have taken on Bob as a passenger, a role he seems quite comfortable with.

You describe your relationship as lopsided and indeed, your dream shows the balance of the motorcycle is thrown off by his seemingly oblivious, unconcerned position.  He appears to be content just to be a “buddy,” without doing his part to steady the bike and get you both safely on the road.

When Bob says he wants the news, you oblige by stopping for his convenience.  But once he has it laid out for him in the newspaper, he pays it no real attention.  He merely tucks it under his arm and settles back into a passive role.  This is not only not helpful, it’s potentially dangerous to your progress.  You can’t get going and, just as in your waking life, he’s disengaged, not understanding your sense of urgency.

With all your energy pouring out onto the ground and igniting into those frustrating “discussions” you mention, it’s clear you’re doing the work and he’s content to go along for the ride.  I hope you’re not paying all the bills Dear Dreamer, because just like in your dream, it’s hardto get on with your life without shaking a freeloader.

Sweet Dreams to You!

SMYD

Universal Dreams Provide Personal Meaning

Dearest Dreamers,

I caution you to resist the notion that there exists a set definition of symbols to which you can refer and learn the meaning of your dreams!  If you find dream book that says, “When you dream ‘A,’ it means ‘B,’ beware!  Such “dictionaries” are at best starting points for your thinking.  At worst, they trivialize the vital content of dreams and comprise only parlor games.

Your dreams are yours alone.  The meaning of your dreams lies within you.  For example, if I were to dream of a tractor, it likely will be indicative of something quite different from a tractor appearing in the dream of a life-long farmer! 

Dreamwork is the process of recognizing how a particular metaphor can illustrate a complex circumstance or state of mind that you are experiencing and grappling with.  It is a customized and personal missive made for you alone!

Having said that, I commend to you an extremely helpful tool for understanding your dreams, written by one of the pioneers in dream research, Patricia Garfield, Ph.D. – The Universal Dream Key: The 12 Most Common Dream Themes Around the World.

Dr. Garfield gathered material for this study from her reviews of the extensive literature on dreams; from her own 50 years of dream journaling (more than 29 volumes!); from 35 years of collecting personal descriptions of dreams provided to her by dreamers; and from dreams contributed to her website by more than 500 dreamers from 36 countries around the world.

In her clear and easily accessible work, Dr. Garfield explains a fascinating observation she has made after her extensive research:  “Certain dream plots recur so often that [she has] termed them ‘Universal Dreams.’”  But even so, Dr. Garfield goes on to say that these themes form the basic building blocks for dreams, and that any given dream is likely to have more than one scene, be more elaborate and more complex than the universal themes she has identified.  In short, her themes provide a starting point for going deeper into a dream and understanding it in a personal context as well as a cultural context. 

Here in the interest of space, I have abbreviated the titles of the universal themes Dr. Garfield identifies and discusses in detail (you’ll notice she offers both sides of a coin): 

1)    Being chased v. embraced

2)   Being injured v. healed

3)   Vehicle problems v. pleasure

4)   Property loss v. improvement

5)   Poor test performance v. fine performance

6)   Falling v. flying

7)   Being naked v. well-dressed

8)   Missing the boat v. pleasant travel

9)   Machine malfunction v. smooth operation

10) Natural disaster v. natural beauty

11)  Being lost v. discovering new spaces

12) Menacing spirit v. guiding spirit

You most certainly recognize some of these themes as recurring in your own dreams over time.  Dr. Garfield offers multiple approaches to understanding these dreams in your world, bringing the universal to the personal.

A most practical and satisfying tool.

Sweet Dreams to You, Dear Dreamers!

SMYD

sendmeyourdreams@mail.com     

This dream provides continuing education!

Our Dreamer Writes:

Dear SMYD,

This dream brought back some fond memories!

I dreamed that I was having the walls scrubbed down in a room that seems like a classroom where I used to go to elementary school.  I loved that old school and it made me happy to see it being restored to its “better days.” 

In the dream, I am explaining to someone (can’t see who) that the room had been a bar for 15 years.  It had been filled with people who were drinking and smoking.  Then I said, there had been a big fire.  And after that, this room had been the home of a country and western band!  (I knew the lead singer and guitar player, way back when my life was a lot wilder than it is today!) 

All of these things accounted for the thick residue of smoke that coated the walls and was now being scrubbed off.  One of my friends at that school was doing some the work.  He was smiling and happy, just like always.  We cleaned the windows and the sun was bright outside.  I felt happy and proud at how nicely the room was turning out.

I like the way this dream made me feel, but what does it mean?

Signed,

Cleaning up My Old School

Dear Old School,

The beauty of our dreams lies in the metaphors they apply to establish a frame of mind, a center of operations, or an emotional setting for the work to be done.  Your dream uses your old school to set up the situation you’re working on both in your waking life and on that deeper level as well.

Your beloved old school, the internal place where you have fond memories and where you’ve learned so much, is receiving some much needed restoration.   Such work in your dream suggests that you also are undergoing a renovation of sorts.  It could be as literal as the rebuilding a person’s body undertakes when he or she quits smoking.  Or it could be more symbolic, with the accumulated smoke in your dream representing the years of hard living you hint at. 

A fire can be seen as destructive, but fire also clears the way for new growth.  Your dream suggests that if there were a traumatic event at some point in your life’s education, the residue from that moment remains and must be scrubbed away now so that you too can grow. 

Your dream suggests that you’ve begun the process of cleaning away remnants of life’s experiences that may be obscuring your fundamental (elementary) education, your own “better days.” 

Dear Dreamer, has your life up to now mirrored the soap opera like qualities of a country and western song?  If so, washing away the residue of that life, returning to the “old school” way you used to think might be the ticket to a sunnier outlook on the future that is yours.  You have a lot to be happy about!

Sweet Dreams to You!

SMYD

Gambler's dream pays off ~ for someone else!

Our Dreamer Writes:

Dear SMYD,

My husband “John” and I love to gamble.  He plays the sports book and I play 5-card draw on the machines.  We’ve done this as a form of recreation for years and plan our vacations to be close to cities that have casinos.  Our son “Johnny” actually works in a casino in another state; but he has a firm rule against gambling!  It’s a good policy for him, and for any casino employee.  A person could get intobig trouble picking up his paycheck and going straight to the tables!

Recently on a Friday night, I dreamed I stood behind John as he was playing draw on one of the machines I usually play in a casino close to our town.  He was playing hard and fast when suddenly he hit a big jackpot - $4580!

So of course, when I woke up Saturday morning, I felt very lucky.  I told my husband about the dream and we got pretty excited.  We jumped into the car and headed for the casino.  I sat down at my favorite machine and played 5-card draw so fast that I barely waited for the results of this hand before pushing the button for the next hand.  To my great disappointment, I lost and lost and lost.  When I finally gave up and found my husband in the sports book area, he’d been losing too!

Now here’s the amazing part - We went home and got a phone call from Johnny.  He’d been waiting to meet with his boss at the end of his workday in the casino.  He sat down at a poker machine to wait and ended up waiting so long that he broke his own rule and put a few dollars in the machine just to pass the time.  And guess what?  He won $4580!

Now what do you think of that??

Signed,

Disillusioned Gambler

 

Dear Gambler,

We can look at your dream two different ways:

Applying a thematic approach to your dream might suggest that only the person who does not gamble (Johnny) wins.  It’s worth considering as a word to the wise.  After all you report losing, losing, losing! 

On the other hand, many dreamers have reported dreams that seem to predict a future event of some kind.  It’s hard to explain how our dreams offer up such information, yet they do.  Everything from the weather, car troubles, health problems, minor and major mishaps seem to be within the reach of our dreaming selves.  If we accept the concept of a collective unconscious available to all, it’s not too big a step to considering access to past and even future events, as well.

In that scenario, it seems possible that you simply made a mistake:  Your dream might have predicted Johnny’s unexpected success on the poker machine.  Since you stood behind the gambler, perhaps you mistook Johnny for John and his lucky draw for your own!

Sweet Dreams to You, Dear Dreamer!

SMYD

sendmeyourdreams@mail.com

Sometimes you've gotta choke your boss!

Our Dreamer Writes:

Dear SMYD,

I’ve hesitated to send you this dream because it has some pretty risqué elements in it.  But my curiosity has overcome the surprise at my own dream.  Here it is!

I dreamed about seeing my boss, Julie, in the restroom at work.  First, her normally brown hair was bleached blonde and cut very short.  She seemed perky and energetic, but I just didn’t believe it.  Then her hair was dyed black on top and the under layer of her hair had been buzz-cut to make an ugly shaved band around her head about 2 or 3 inches wide.  Also, while she dresses beautifully every day, in the dream she was naked!  Her body looked a saggy.  I remember thinking, well, she’s 53 years old and she looked about right for her age.  Then, I was choking her!  I had my hands around her neck and was shaking her back and forth.  Her hair was shaking as I shook her head!

Julie and I are actually pretty good friends.  She is my boss, but I feel like she looks out for me at work, even if her motive is to keep me there when she knows I’m unhappy and feel stuck in a bad situation.  If I did get another job, I’d feel guilty about leaving her.  In other words, I really like her and can’t imagine why I’d have such a dream.  What do you think?

Signed,

Awkward, but Curious 

Dear Curious,

Your dream offers several angles of approach for understanding.  We can start with the direct and to-the-point attitude that this dream is referring to your views about your job.  Since you find yourself in a private place, the restroom, at work, we can surmise that your dream is bringing to the surface your private thoughts about work.  The fact that your boss (your work) is naked suggests that privately, you see things at work for what they are, not covered up with beautiful clothes that hide the facts below. 

Similarly, your boss’s hair is bleached and unnaturally perky and energetic.  But you are not fooled by this façade.  If we accept the metaphor of hair representing thoughts (flowing from the head or brain) then your dream seems to say again that you see the artificial nature of what’s she says to you.  Next, when her hair turns black, the change from one extreme to the other may speak to your own changeable thoughts and emotions about how to do what you want and need to do without hurting her.

Your dream shows you her scalp, stripped bare and just below the surface of the situation.  Julie/the job is not all sunshine and enthusiasm, as she might want you to believe for her own reasons.  Choking her suggests you’d like to cut off the dialogue that makes you feel guilty for wanting to go. 

Take care of yourself Dear Dreamer.  After all, would Julie stay in a bad job for you?

Sweet Dreams to You!

Walking a Pig/Dog

Our Dreamer Writes:

Dear SMYD,

Jerry Gomez and I have worked together for over seven years.  He is recipient of many incentives and awardsprovided by our company.  In fact, he has been the top award winner for the past four years running.  Very impressive. 

I was a bit intimidated by him when I was first hired on the job.  But over the years, I’ve gotten to know him better and found him to be pretty “normal.”  I admire his skills in the workplace and even enjoy being around him most of the time. 

Sometimes, I emulate his ways to improve my own performance.  But, I also notice his ego is pretty evident.  For example, he makes a point of bringing up his top awards even in circumstances when it seems irrelevant.  Still, all in all, I like him.  He was very generous and supported me when I needed a good word with my boss.

But even with all this history, I can’t imagine why he and this fantastic pig/dog have appeared in my dream!

I dreamed last night that Jerry Gomez and I were walking his black pit bull (he doesn’t really have a dog).  The dog was huge and built more like a hog, tall at the shoulders with a massive body.  He was off leash. 

Then, at the same time, I was walking toward us with another, similar pit bull/hog only mine was on a leash, had better manners and was better looking, sort of a red color, almost like an Irish setter.  Jerry’s “dog” began to sniff around and sort of challenge my “dog” in a way that wasn’t totally threatening, but still pushy and unpleasant.  At the end of the walk I said to Jerry that he needed to have his “dog” on a leash.  He countered by saying, “A harness!”  I agreed, thinking that even with a harness it would be hard to control that big strong beast.

Signed,

Walking a Hog 

Dear Walking,

You mention that you’ve developed a grudging admiration for Jerry, the co-worker who represents your greatest threat, or the greatest challenge to your being the company star.  In fact, in the form of a star-in-training, you’ve even imitated his methods of operating.

Without getting too deep we can see that in your dream, you meet yourself coming and going.  And no matter which way you look at it, that big beast of an ego is keeping you company.  When you look at your own ego (dog), you like to think of it as better behaved and better looking than Jerry’s, but your dream suggests it’s pretty close to the same!  Unpleasant for those you encounter, even needing to be reined in.  That leash providing a semblance of better control probably should be replaced with a harness.

Perhaps you’ve taken on more of the unsavory qualities of your mentor than you’d like to admit.  Review your own behavior, Dear Dreamer.  Is your “normal” more like a hog than you realize? 

Sweet Dreams to You!

SMYD

Timeless trappings and life after death

Our Dreamer Writes:

Dear SMYD,

My wife and I have always said we can talk about anything, but we were challenged recently when we visited a financial planner for the first time.  Right out of the gate he said we needed to prepare a last will and testament!  We felt pretty uncomfortable, but we started working on it.  Naturally, that chore quickly triggered a discussion about who would die first!  Yet another difficult conversation for us!  It was also hard to start talking about who would get what among our kids.

In the middle of all this I dreamed that I was dressed in preppy clothes and driving my favorite old car, a classic Cadillac.  A car like that never goes out of style!  My wife was with me and she was wearing what she calls her classic outfit, a little black dress. 

Suddenly the car just quit running.  I tried to start it while it was still in ‘drive’ and for some reason it worked.  We drove across a large green lawn toward a street on the other side.  Suddenly, the car stopped again.  Then, just as suddenly, we were out of the car and in front of it.  We had just kept going, just traveled along, even though the car had stopped.  We stood there feeling a little confused for a moment.  We looked at the car and our surroundings.  Then we turned toward the street ahead and started going in that direction.

I woke up feeling relieved somehow.  I just can’t figure out why I was relieved!

Signed,

Driving My Classic Car

 

Dear Classic,

It’s only natural for us to begin to feel anxious when we’re assigned the task of planning for a world we’ll be leaving behind.  Your dream seems to offer some insights into the thoughts and discussions you’re having with your wife and family, and your worries about the unknown.

First consider the Cadillac; a car you say will never go out of style.  Couple it with your preppy clothes and your wife’s little black dress.  All these images serve as metaphors in your dream, casting you and your wife as “classics,” never to fade into disuse or antiquity.  You both are timeless, just like your Caddy, your traditional prep-school clothes and her favorite frock. 

Next, when the car quits running, you and she go on.  What a lovely metaphor this is for life after the will kicks in!  Your ‘vehicle’ quits, but you keep going.  The two of you experience a momentary pause in front of the car.  You assess your new circumstances, then turn and move onto the next avenue, the street ahead. 

Now I’m not sure what your beliefs are, but if the discussion of your last will and testament made you uncomfortable, your dream arrives with reassurance that any transition in your future will be almost seamless.  Not to worry Dear Dreamer!  Like all lasting things in life, you and your wife will never go out of style!

Sweet Dreams to You!

SMYD

sendmeyourdreams@mail.com          

 

Swimming with the girl from Jeopardy!

Our Dreamer Writes:

Dear SMYD,

I can’t believe I’ve started my new job as a middle school counselor!  It feels amazing when people come to me for answers to their problems.  I love it even if I’m a little overwhelmed.  I think I’m going to be good at it, but I’m still new and wish I had more experience so I’d feel more secure. 

Anyway, I was pooped when I got home so I just ate some leftovers, watched some TV, including “Jeopardy.”  Then I fell asleep in front of the TV, got up and went to bed.

So it seems like the dream I had about the girl on Jeopardy is just repeating things that I saw the day before.  But the dream seems weird too.  What do you think?

I dreamed I was at the end of a swimming pool at work.  (My school doesn’t have a swimming pool!)  I was standing there with the girl I saw on Jeopardy.  She was really smart and pretty.  I was kind of surprised by her success on that show.  I even wondered just for a minute if she cheated!  (I don’t think you can really cheat on that show, but she was so young to be winning so much!)

In the dream, we were at the shallow end of this pool, but I thought it was too deep for me.  When I did get in the water, I wasn’t afraid, but I wished I knew some tricks or clever ways to stay afloat so I could feel more comfortable.  Then the girl gave me a map of the bottom of the pool.  It was beautiful with hills and valleys, trees, fish, everything! 

So like I said, I think this dream probably just took some memories from my day and added the weird details.

What do you think?

Signed,

Swimming with the Girl from Jeopardy 

Dear Swimming,

Our dreams often do incorporate elements of things we saw or thought about during our waking lives.  But if you consider the thousands of things that come to your attention in the course of any given day, it seems clear that your dreaming self selects specific images for specific reasons.

In your dream, you find yourself next to a bright young woman who’s experiencing some surprising success.  She seems a lot like you.  You say that you feel happy and competent in your new job, a successful achievement like hers, but not totally secure.  You wonder if she cheated to achieve her spot in a competitive atmosphere similar to the way you ‘can’t believe’ your own arrival in your new station.

Even though you’re at the shallow end, where beginners start, you worry that it’s too deep, that you’ll be in over your head, again just as you feel a bit overwhelmed, wishing for clever ways to stay afloat.  But not to worry Dear Dreamer.  You have the foundation (that map of the bottom!) needed to navigate your new surroundings!  You earned it!

Sweet Dreams to You!

SMYD

You can run, but...

Our Dreamer Writes:

Dear SMYD,

I like my friend “Grace” very much.  She doesn’t pull any punches!  She is an older, divorced woman, having been married for 29 years.  Once I asked her why she was divorced after such a long marriage.  She said she just got tired of paying for everything!  Grace went on to say that she had never seen a man like her husband change; once the pattern was set, it was set.  Well, this really struck a chord with me since I’m in a similar marriage.  My husband hasn’t worked at any steady job since we married three years ago.  He has a lot of potential, but never seems to make good on his plans or promises.  I love him, but feel pretty frustrated and worried about our life together.

Now I’ve had a dream with Grace in it.  I was with a group of people who insisted that I “read” the future in a crystal ball.  I didn’t want to, but after a lot of persuasion, I gave in.  I sat with a young girl who said she didn’t believe in crystal balls.  I demanded that the lights be dimmed and the loud music turned down.  My friend Grace sat right in front of me.  I was supposed to read for her.  I wanted Grace to sit still and cover up, but she refused.  At that, I got mad and stood up, saying, “Forget it!  I won’t ‘see’ for you if you won’t cooperate!”

Please help me understand this dream!

Signed,

Reluctant Crystal Ball Reader

 

Dear Reluctant Reader,

Robert Gongloff, past President of the International Association for the Study ofDreams, offers an effective strategy for getting to the heart of a dream:  Restate the dream’s action in terms other than those used in the dream.  For example, in your dream, we might restate your reluctance to read the future in the crystal ball as “Someone doesn’t want to see what’s in front of her.” 

To repeat the strategy with other elements of your dream:  You want the lights dimmed as “Someone prefers to be in the dark.”  You must have the music turned down as “Someone doesn’t want to face the music.”  You insist that Grace cover up as “Someone wants to obscure what’s right in front of her.”

In your dream, Grace serves as the crystal ball you don’t want to “read.”  You seem  to deny the future that sits there in the form of your friend who had 29 years of an unsatisfactory arrangement - an arrangement uncomfortably like your own.

You sit with a young girl who doesn’t believe, you insist on darkness and refuse to face the music playing so loudly.  All these actions add up to denial of the obvious, Dear Dreamer.  It’s possible to delay acknowledging what you clearly know on a subconscious level.  But you cannot avoid the inevitable.  You cannot unlearn what your heart, and your dream, are telling you!

Sweet Dreams to You!

SMYD

sendmeyourdreams@mail.com

Get rid of that rat!

Our Dreamer Writes:

Dear SMYD,

I can't remember not making images.  As a child, I read voraciously, but found it easier to express myself through drawing and painting than by writing.  When I sketch and paint, I feel at "home."  Painting connects me with myself. 

Yet, throughout my life, I’ve put off this powerful desire to paint in favor of pleasing others and following instead what they said would be good for me, or what I “should” do.  As I gracefully age, I realize it is essential to embrace what is mine to do.  And, I'm clear now that creating art is mine to do.  I think I’m ready for a big change – to do what I’ve always wanted to do – be an artist!

I rarely remember my dreams, so why, when I’m teetering on the brink of an important life event, would I have this dream about a rat, the one creature I have always abhorred!  Rats just gross me out and give me the shivers. 

In my dream I’m in a basement room and I see a rat there, looking at me.  But instead of shrieking or running as I’ve done in the past, I do the unimaginable - I pick him up and toss him out the window!  It was so much easier than I thought it would be!  He was gone out the window and I did it!  I was very proud and happy with myself for doing it!

Signed,

An Artist with a Rat

 

Dear Artist,

You will appreciate that our dreams speak to us in ways similar to the way art speaks to us – through metaphors, puns and plays on words!  So, on one level your dream suggests you’ve rid yourself of a nasty companion.  You used to be timid and would run from him, but no more.  Hooray.  But that explanation alone is unsatisfactory.

To get to a deeper understanding of your dream, brainstorm the ways to think of a rat beyond his status as a disgusting and scary rodent (although that is a starting point).  But, he’s not just an unwelcome houseguest!  Given the context you offered, consider the metaphor of a rat as one who betrays another.  In your waking life, you tell us you have betrayed your own true self by setting that artistic self aside and sublimating your deepest desire.  You’ve been a rat to yourself!

Now, you say you “think” you’re ready to make a life change and go for your goals.  On any such journey of transformation, we each must face our internal rats.  Happily, in thinking about life changes and wanting to pursue your dream of being an artist, your dream suggests that you recognize that part of yourself that can be a rat...that can betray you and hold you back.  When you take the rat and toss it, you felt good, strong, empowered!  Good for you Dear Dreamer!  It speaks to how you will feel when you're true to yourself!

Sweet Dreams to You!

SMYD

sendmeyourdreams@mail.com