Spiders in my dreams!

Sometimes the best place to start with understanding a dream is with its most vibrant image.  The spiders are the starting place in today’s dream, hands down!

Dear Carolyn,

I’ve had two dreams, back-to-back, about spiders!

First, I am looking for a place to live.  I am walking past a house but I see a spider web so I walk up the walk to see it better.  This is an enormous web - bigger than the doorway - and there are a lot of spiders.  The spiders are big too, about the size of a dinner plate and their eyes are so big.  I can see them watching me.  The web is very beautiful and intricate.  I do not fear the spiders; in fact I can sense they are afraid of me, so I don't want to stay because I am scaring them.  So, I walk off looking for a house that’s available.

Then last night’s dream:

I cannot remember how I got the spider, but I am trying to keep it in a Tupperware container.  Again, a big spider.  It is beige looking and has a hard body like an orb spider - or like a crab I guess - but is a spider.  I am at "school" and I am putting different material in the box to make the spider comfy.  I put some rocks in and then I am worried that they might hurt him.  So I am taking them out and putting other materials in there.  The spider keeps trying to get away; and I do not want him to get away.  I have no fear of the spider, just trying to make it comfortable and I just carry the box around school.

Signed,

Spiders in My Dreams!

Dear Spiders,

Your dreams seem to be speaking about a protective barrier represented by the spiders.  

In the first dream, contrary to many people’ reactions, you are drawn to the barrier established by the spiders’ web, calling it beautiful and intricate.  You even take steps to avoid disturbing the spiders, keeping the barrier in place.  You say you’re scaring them, but the fear of crossing that threshold is yours, Dear Dreamer! 

The spider barrier is that part of you that watches carefully, maybe not threatening, but nevertheless, restrictive and uninviting.  The spiders, like you, watch anyone approaching their door cautiously, even suspiciously.  Dear Dreamer, that caution and suspicion render the house (and you) unavailable. 

In the second dream, you carry around a spider, pampering it, trying to make it comfortable, worrying that it will escape.  But it wants to escape, suggesting you'd like to let it go.

On one hand you'd like to keep up the barrier, but that means living with hard things ~ the rocks~ (a hard heart?  a hard exterior?).  But on the other hand you have the fear of releasing the protection you think you need. 

It’s set in a school Dear Dreamer.  What have you learned from nurturing this defensive obstacle?

Sweet Dreams to You!

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Beware the Fire Breathing Dragon

Our Dreamer Writes:

Dear SMYD,

I had a dream every day for about a month when I was about sixteen.  It starts out I am a little boy with these oldfashioned tan shorts, suspenders, a paper boys hat, long sleeved white shirt,long knee high socks and old leather shoes.  (I have never dressed this way.  I am only forty-one years old, this was the kind of dress that would be in the twenties or thirties.) 

Anyway, I am rolling a whiskey barrel ring with a stick down a pebble-layered road.  The road seems to be in a foreign place like England or something like that.  I never played that kind of game before either.

Then I trip and fall at the edge of a well.  I seem to be alright, not hurt.  I land at the feet of a properly dressed man with a cane.  As I start to look up to see the man I get as far as to his neck.  I seem to be a little scared of the man, but he had a hand stretched out to help me up.  That’s how I saw his ring.  He had a gold dragon ring with a ruby in the mouth of the dragon.  I’ve never seen a ring like it before.  I then wake up.

What does this dream mean?

Signed,

Never Forgot this Dream

 

Dear Never Forgot,

Your dream can be understood from a couple of different standpoints.  Consider both as they both offer benefits in your waking life:

First, your dream has the hallmarks of a past life experience:  In the dream, you are yourself, but much younger, a “little boy,” not the sixteen-year-old who dreamed the dream.  You’re not dressed like you dress in waking life, or in an area that’s familiar to you.  Nor are you engaged in activities that you know.  In fact, your clothes are indicative of another era.  The game you’re playing is as well.  Even the road you’re on has the look and feel of another time and place.  Finally, the man who stands above you presents a formality that is uncommon today.  His dragon ring appears dramatic and frightening to a shocked and surprised little boy.

For those who subscribe to the possibility of reincarnation, such dreams can be considered a window into their past.  Be sure though, that the value of a past life would be in the legacy it provides for your waking life today. 

This dream suggests that, at least when you dreamed it at 16, you might have been oblivious to dangers around you and fearful of a benefactor, perhaps appropriately. 

Could there be parallels in your waking life today, Dear Dreamer?  Since this dream continues to echo in your consciousness, it seems possible.  Don’t skip along naively unaware of your surroundings.  Survey your circumstances with a mature and experienced eye.  Accept the help offered to you, but cautiously.  Don’t be caught off guard when there are strings attached and get burned by that fire-breathing dragon.

Sweet Dreams to You!

SMYD

Dream provides 'mop up' of past experiences

Our Dreamer Writes:

Dear SMYD,

First, a little background will help:  My kids’ dad and I have been divorced since 1995.  I don't have any feelings for him one way or the other.  We still see each other at family functions, but that’s it.  I’m moving on in my life and don’t want to repeat the past, but I do want to learn from it.

I dreamed my ex, my kids and I were in a rented house that we no longer live in.  We are cleaning and fixing it up because we moved out.  I am trying to fix a broken window on the other side of a perfect window.  (From the inside the window looks fine.  But when I look out through it, I see another window and it is broken.)  I think I need to go onto the roof to find the broken window, which I do but I can't seem to find it.  

Then we are sitting in the living room with doors open and an owl is coming towards us.  I say something like, “Watch out for the owl!”  The next thing I know the owl is sitting on my finger looking at me.  I can feel its feet and the weight of the bird.  I am so excited!  I am telling my ex-husband, “Quick take a picture!”  End of dream.

What does this dream mean?

Signed,

Cleaning Up the Old House

 

Dear Housecleaner,

Your dream about the broken window in the rented house seems to be one in which you're reflecting on past times and past relationships represented as the cleaning and fixing up of the (temporary - rental) house (relationship) where you lived in your past marriage.  Such actions are indicative of a transitional point in your waking life when you wrap up loose ends before moving on to a new phase in your life. 

You appear to be bothered by an imperfection, a shattered view (the broken window) of those times and those situations, and determined to make it right.  Perhaps in waking life you hash over some things that you would do differently if you had the chance.  But it’s important to note that the shattered view, the perceived flaw or problem, is visible only to you from the inside, and is therefore likely to be “in your head,” your interpretation alone.  When you go outside onto the roof to a more objective perspective, you cannot find the flaw (the broken window).

Then, if we accept the owl in the traditional mythology, as a symbol of wisdom, that wisdom comes and settles in on you when you recognize that there is nothing you need to worry over or correct from the past.  Your “mop up” dream of those days offers a positive learning experience:  All is well settled, Dear Dreamer.  You can move on in good conscience.  It feels great when you recognize that you’re on your way and call out to take a picture - "Look at me now!"

Sweet Dreams to You!

SMYD

Faking Injury Backfires for this Dreamer

Our Dreamer Writes:

Dear SMYD,

Two kids, a husband and invalid mother-in-law is more than one person should have to manage on her own!  Truthfully, I don’t have more to do than I can do.  Some days I actually feel like I’m a Superwoman.  But it bugs me that my family takes advantage.  They act like they don’t even see what’s going on.  I’m the only one who ever does anything around here!  That’s how I was feeling before this dream:

First, I was chasing a bunch of ferrets.  They were running every direction and I felt ridiculous.  Every time I got them rounded up, they were out again and I had to start all over. 

Then, I was behind the wheel of the car and I just slammed on the brakes.  When I did, the door flew open.  I fell out of the car onto the ground.  I wasn’t hurt, but I laid there and kind of pretended I was.  I kept peeking out of one eye to see if anyone would notice or come over to check on me.  Sure enough, my husband and some other people came and stood over me, looking down at me, but saying and doing nothing.  My kids were there too, just looking at me.  And my friend Kim, the smartest, strongest, most self-sufficient of my friends was there.  But she also just stood there looking at me and said, “Are you going to get up from there or what?”

What does it take to get some help around here?!

Signed,

Tired of Doing It All

 

Dear Tired One,

A key to your dream comes in the form of your pretense.  No one can argue that you are in a difficult situation with many people depending on you.  It may be a lot to manage, but by your own accounting it’s not too much for you.  You seem proud of what you accomplish, even calling yourself Superwoman.  Yet you pretend to be in distress.  Why?

In your dream you successfully corral the ferrets (manage the lively and diverse tasks at hand) and repeat the process each day.  But when you put on the brakes and fall to the ground, you seem to be looking for attention, or maybe credit or accolades for all you’re doing.  Have you asked anyone for help, or should they be reading your mind?

Kim, that strong, self-sufficient part of yourself is unimpressed with your display.  She reminds you that crying ‘wolf’ doesn’t fool anyone.  You can handle the jobs you’ve taken on. 

If you’re truly feeling burdened or resentful that no one appreciates you or steps up to offer assistance, putting on a false show of distress does not bring the response you’re looking for.  Be real.  The best way to get what you need is to ask for it!  Your husband most certainly could help with his mother.  Your kids may be able to contribute as well, depending on their ages.  Speak up for yourself, Dear Dreamer!

Sweet Dreams to You!

SMYD

If you must kill, do it in your dreams!

Dear SMYD,

Oddly I'd only commented to my wife last night that I hadn't killed anyone in my dreams for a while.   

As if a message was registered in my brain, there I was hiding under a table with a sword.

A man walks past me and I run the sword into his chest, up to the handle, protruding the blade out the back of his spine.  I watch his dying breath and remove the weapon.

Knowing there are more men on the floor above me, I put my victim into the elevator and send the body up to them as a warning along with a small monkey to operate the buttons.

As the bell pings and the doors open the others are met by a bloodied corpse with a primate sitting on him.

The last part of my dream involved me pulling up outside a shop in a VW camper van with my mum.  She stayed in the van while I played a fruit machine that was in the shop window, using hessian dollar bills as cash.

I put one in and there suddenly appeared a hand written note in my handwriting saying, 'Out of order'.  

Signed,

Oh no!  A Killer Again!

 

Dear Killer,

One of the beauties of dreams is that we know they speak in metaphors! 

You say that you haven’t killed anyone in your dreams for a while indicating that this is a recurring dream.  Or at least its theme of killing someone is.  As with many recurring dreams, the setting or even characters may change, but the essential actions repeat themselves.

One of the best ways to get insight into a recurring dream is to make a note of it when you have it.  You won't need to write it out in detail unless you want to.  Just make a note like, "dreamed of killing the man again, this time with more upstairs."

Then ~ and this is key ~ make another note of what's going on in your waking life in the days preceding the dream.  Chances are excellent that the dream recurs when certain circumstances or trains of thought are prevailing in your waking life.  For example, does it always come on high stress days?  You'll only need to make notes like this two or three times before the connection presents itself to you!

Without more conversation with you some general observations might help:  Given that you’re under a table as well as on a lower floor, consider the idea that you’re killing a subconscious pattern of thinking or habit –suggested by the monkey on the dead man’s back.  The pattern or habit is persistent; therefore you must suppress it repeatedly, in recurring dreamwork, and issue the warning that this habit must not rise to the surface. 

Hessian money (used to pay mercenaries) is “out of order” indicating you must do the work of beating a bad habit yourself Dear Dreamer!

Sweet Dreams to You!

SMYD

sendmeyourdreams@yahoo.com

Walking a Pig/Dog

Our Dreamer Writes:

Dear SMYD,

Jerry Gomez and I have worked together for over seven years.  He is recipient of many incentives and awardsprovided by our company.  In fact, he has been the top award winner for the past four years running.  Very impressive. 

I was a bit intimidated by him when I was first hired on the job.  But over the years, I’ve gotten to know him better and found him to be pretty “normal.”  I admire his skills in the workplace and even enjoy being around him most of the time. 

Sometimes, I emulate his ways to improve my own performance.  But, I also notice his ego is pretty evident.  For example, he makes a point of bringing up his top awards even in circumstances when it seems irrelevant.  Still, all in all, I like him.  He was very generous and supported me when I needed a good word with my boss.

But even with all this history, I can’t imagine why he and this fantastic pig/dog have appeared in my dream!

I dreamed last night that Jerry Gomez and I were walking his black pit bull (he doesn’t really have a dog).  The dog was huge and built more like a hog, tall at the shoulders with a massive body.  He was off leash. 

Then, at the same time, I was walking toward us with another, similar pit bull/hog only mine was on a leash, had better manners and was better looking, sort of a red color, almost like an Irish setter.  Jerry’s “dog” began to sniff around and sort of challenge my “dog” in a way that wasn’t totally threatening, but still pushy and unpleasant.  At the end of the walk I said to Jerry that he needed to have his “dog” on a leash.  He countered by saying, “A harness!”  I agreed, thinking that even with a harness it would be hard to control that big strong beast.

Signed,

Walking a Hog 

Dear Walking,

You mention that you’ve developed a grudging admiration for Jerry, the co-worker who represents your greatest threat, or the greatest challenge to your being the company star.  In fact, in the form of a star-in-training, you’ve even imitated his methods of operating.

Without getting too deep we can see that in your dream, you meet yourself coming and going.  And no matter which way you look at it, that big beast of an ego is keeping you company.  When you look at your own ego (dog), you like to think of it as better behaved and better looking than Jerry’s, but your dream suggests it’s pretty close to the same!  Unpleasant for those you encounter, even needing to be reined in.  That leash providing a semblance of better control probably should be replaced with a harness.

Perhaps you’ve taken on more of the unsavory qualities of your mentor than you’d like to admit.  Review your own behavior, Dear Dreamer.  Is your “normal” more like a hog than you realize? 

Sweet Dreams to You!

SMYD

Timeless trappings and life after death

Our Dreamer Writes:

Dear SMYD,

My wife and I have always said we can talk about anything, but we were challenged recently when we visited a financial planner for the first time.  Right out of the gate he said we needed to prepare a last will and testament!  We felt pretty uncomfortable, but we started working on it.  Naturally, that chore quickly triggered a discussion about who would die first!  Yet another difficult conversation for us!  It was also hard to start talking about who would get what among our kids.

In the middle of all this I dreamed that I was dressed in preppy clothes and driving my favorite old car, a classic Cadillac.  A car like that never goes out of style!  My wife was with me and she was wearing what she calls her classic outfit, a little black dress. 

Suddenly the car just quit running.  I tried to start it while it was still in ‘drive’ and for some reason it worked.  We drove across a large green lawn toward a street on the other side.  Suddenly, the car stopped again.  Then, just as suddenly, we were out of the car and in front of it.  We had just kept going, just traveled along, even though the car had stopped.  We stood there feeling a little confused for a moment.  We looked at the car and our surroundings.  Then we turned toward the street ahead and started going in that direction.

I woke up feeling relieved somehow.  I just can’t figure out why I was relieved!

Signed,

Driving My Classic Car

 

Dear Classic,

It’s only natural for us to begin to feel anxious when we’re assigned the task of planning for a world we’ll be leaving behind.  Your dream seems to offer some insights into the thoughts and discussions you’re having with your wife and family, and your worries about the unknown.

First consider the Cadillac; a car you say will never go out of style.  Couple it with your preppy clothes and your wife’s little black dress.  All these images serve as metaphors in your dream, casting you and your wife as “classics,” never to fade into disuse or antiquity.  You both are timeless, just like your Caddy, your traditional prep-school clothes and her favorite frock. 

Next, when the car quits running, you and she go on.  What a lovely metaphor this is for life after the will kicks in!  Your ‘vehicle’ quits, but you keep going.  The two of you experience a momentary pause in front of the car.  You assess your new circumstances, then turn and move onto the next avenue, the street ahead. 

Now I’m not sure what your beliefs are, but if the discussion of your last will and testament made you uncomfortable, your dream arrives with reassurance that any transition in your future will be almost seamless.  Not to worry Dear Dreamer!  Like all lasting things in life, you and your wife will never go out of style!

Sweet Dreams to You!

SMYD

sendmeyourdreams@mail.com          

 

Swimming with the girl from Jeopardy!

Our Dreamer Writes:

Dear SMYD,

I can’t believe I’ve started my new job as a middle school counselor!  It feels amazing when people come to me for answers to their problems.  I love it even if I’m a little overwhelmed.  I think I’m going to be good at it, but I’m still new and wish I had more experience so I’d feel more secure. 

Anyway, I was pooped when I got home so I just ate some leftovers, watched some TV, including “Jeopardy.”  Then I fell asleep in front of the TV, got up and went to bed.

So it seems like the dream I had about the girl on Jeopardy is just repeating things that I saw the day before.  But the dream seems weird too.  What do you think?

I dreamed I was at the end of a swimming pool at work.  (My school doesn’t have a swimming pool!)  I was standing there with the girl I saw on Jeopardy.  She was really smart and pretty.  I was kind of surprised by her success on that show.  I even wondered just for a minute if she cheated!  (I don’t think you can really cheat on that show, but she was so young to be winning so much!)

In the dream, we were at the shallow end of this pool, but I thought it was too deep for me.  When I did get in the water, I wasn’t afraid, but I wished I knew some tricks or clever ways to stay afloat so I could feel more comfortable.  Then the girl gave me a map of the bottom of the pool.  It was beautiful with hills and valleys, trees, fish, everything! 

So like I said, I think this dream probably just took some memories from my day and added the weird details.

What do you think?

Signed,

Swimming with the Girl from Jeopardy 

Dear Swimming,

Our dreams often do incorporate elements of things we saw or thought about during our waking lives.  But if you consider the thousands of things that come to your attention in the course of any given day, it seems clear that your dreaming self selects specific images for specific reasons.

In your dream, you find yourself next to a bright young woman who’s experiencing some surprising success.  She seems a lot like you.  You say that you feel happy and competent in your new job, a successful achievement like hers, but not totally secure.  You wonder if she cheated to achieve her spot in a competitive atmosphere similar to the way you ‘can’t believe’ your own arrival in your new station.

Even though you’re at the shallow end, where beginners start, you worry that it’s too deep, that you’ll be in over your head, again just as you feel a bit overwhelmed, wishing for clever ways to stay afloat.  But not to worry Dear Dreamer.  You have the foundation (that map of the bottom!) needed to navigate your new surroundings!  You earned it!

Sweet Dreams to You!

SMYD

You can run, but...

Our Dreamer Writes:

Dear SMYD,

I like my friend “Grace” very much.  She doesn’t pull any punches!  She is an older, divorced woman, having been married for 29 years.  Once I asked her why she was divorced after such a long marriage.  She said she just got tired of paying for everything!  Grace went on to say that she had never seen a man like her husband change; once the pattern was set, it was set.  Well, this really struck a chord with me since I’m in a similar marriage.  My husband hasn’t worked at any steady job since we married three years ago.  He has a lot of potential, but never seems to make good on his plans or promises.  I love him, but feel pretty frustrated and worried about our life together.

Now I’ve had a dream with Grace in it.  I was with a group of people who insisted that I “read” the future in a crystal ball.  I didn’t want to, but after a lot of persuasion, I gave in.  I sat with a young girl who said she didn’t believe in crystal balls.  I demanded that the lights be dimmed and the loud music turned down.  My friend Grace sat right in front of me.  I was supposed to read for her.  I wanted Grace to sit still and cover up, but she refused.  At that, I got mad and stood up, saying, “Forget it!  I won’t ‘see’ for you if you won’t cooperate!”

Please help me understand this dream!

Signed,

Reluctant Crystal Ball Reader

 

Dear Reluctant Reader,

Robert Gongloff, past President of the International Association for the Study ofDreams, offers an effective strategy for getting to the heart of a dream:  Restate the dream’s action in terms other than those used in the dream.  For example, in your dream, we might restate your reluctance to read the future in the crystal ball as “Someone doesn’t want to see what’s in front of her.” 

To repeat the strategy with other elements of your dream:  You want the lights dimmed as “Someone prefers to be in the dark.”  You must have the music turned down as “Someone doesn’t want to face the music.”  You insist that Grace cover up as “Someone wants to obscure what’s right in front of her.”

In your dream, Grace serves as the crystal ball you don’t want to “read.”  You seem  to deny the future that sits there in the form of your friend who had 29 years of an unsatisfactory arrangement - an arrangement uncomfortably like your own.

You sit with a young girl who doesn’t believe, you insist on darkness and refuse to face the music playing so loudly.  All these actions add up to denial of the obvious, Dear Dreamer.  It’s possible to delay acknowledging what you clearly know on a subconscious level.  But you cannot avoid the inevitable.  You cannot unlearn what your heart, and your dream, are telling you!

Sweet Dreams to You!

SMYD

sendmeyourdreams@mail.com

Get rid of that rat!

Our Dreamer Writes:

Dear SMYD,

I can't remember not making images.  As a child, I read voraciously, but found it easier to express myself through drawing and painting than by writing.  When I sketch and paint, I feel at "home."  Painting connects me with myself. 

Yet, throughout my life, I’ve put off this powerful desire to paint in favor of pleasing others and following instead what they said would be good for me, or what I “should” do.  As I gracefully age, I realize it is essential to embrace what is mine to do.  And, I'm clear now that creating art is mine to do.  I think I’m ready for a big change – to do what I’ve always wanted to do – be an artist!

I rarely remember my dreams, so why, when I’m teetering on the brink of an important life event, would I have this dream about a rat, the one creature I have always abhorred!  Rats just gross me out and give me the shivers. 

In my dream I’m in a basement room and I see a rat there, looking at me.  But instead of shrieking or running as I’ve done in the past, I do the unimaginable - I pick him up and toss him out the window!  It was so much easier than I thought it would be!  He was gone out the window and I did it!  I was very proud and happy with myself for doing it!

Signed,

An Artist with a Rat

 

Dear Artist,

You will appreciate that our dreams speak to us in ways similar to the way art speaks to us – through metaphors, puns and plays on words!  So, on one level your dream suggests you’ve rid yourself of a nasty companion.  You used to be timid and would run from him, but no more.  Hooray.  But that explanation alone is unsatisfactory.

To get to a deeper understanding of your dream, brainstorm the ways to think of a rat beyond his status as a disgusting and scary rodent (although that is a starting point).  But, he’s not just an unwelcome houseguest!  Given the context you offered, consider the metaphor of a rat as one who betrays another.  In your waking life, you tell us you have betrayed your own true self by setting that artistic self aside and sublimating your deepest desire.  You’ve been a rat to yourself!

Now, you say you “think” you’re ready to make a life change and go for your goals.  On any such journey of transformation, we each must face our internal rats.  Happily, in thinking about life changes and wanting to pursue your dream of being an artist, your dream suggests that you recognize that part of yourself that can be a rat...that can betray you and hold you back.  When you take the rat and toss it, you felt good, strong, empowered!  Good for you Dear Dreamer!  It speaks to how you will feel when you're true to yourself!

Sweet Dreams to You!

SMYD

sendmeyourdreams@mail.com

Call that Bully's Bluff!

Our Dreamer Writes:

Dear SMYD,

I’m not the kind of guy who looks for trouble.  In our family, my brother was the one who seemed to enjoy starting things – or finishing them!  So this dream seems strange to me.  The guy with the squirt gun kind of looks like my brother, but then, I’m the one with blonde hair, not him.  Anyway, here it is:

In my dream I was standing in line to go into a building.  Don’t recognize the building or know the occasion.  Ahead of me in line, close to the front, is a young man.  He’s tall, wearing a yellow shirt, and has crew cut hair.  Every so often, he turns around with a plastic squirt gun in his hand.  He points it at the forehead of a little blonde-haired boy who’s in front of me in the line.  Each time, the little boy is terrified.  He crumples into tears.  The big guy then tosses the gun away and turns back with a fake smile.  “See?  No one was really in danger!”  He keeps doing this, scaring the little boy every time.

Finally, when I see that he’s about to do it again, I step up and challenge him.  He shows me that the gun is plastic and filled with water.  Then he turns and tosses the gun away, this time without pointing it at the little boy.  The little boy hugs my knees and clings to me while I pat his head, comforting him.

What in the world is that all about?

Signed,

Playing the Tough Guy

 

Dear Tough Guy,

Your dream suggests a family dynamic is in play while you and your brother “wait in line” for something.  Most likely, you will be able to identify what it is that you’re waiting for ~ could it be greater status in your family hierarchy?  Look for a long-standing emotion-laden situation that you feel has held you back.

You mention that your brother is one who stirs things up.  In your dream, it seems he’s doing just that:  stirring up old emotions, fears and doubts you might have felt as a child.  Embodied in the little blonde haired boy who clings to you when you finally decide to stand up to the fake threat is the core of what’s keeping you in line now.  Also, consider the play on words:  Does someone seem to be bullying you to “keep you in line”?  What would happen if you broke ranks, spoke your mind, exposed the fake threat?

You don’t mention how you felt when you saw the threat for what is was - a bluff.  But when you take action in your dream, you become the hero and savior of that inner little boy.  Most times, standing up to a bully engenders feelings of release and empowerment.  Frequently others (like those in line with you) are hoping someone will step up.  Your dream suggests that you can be the one who does.

Sweet Dreams to You, Dear Dreamer!

SMYD

sendmeyourdreams@mail.com       

Are You Becoming a Zombie?

Our Dreamer Writes:

Dear SMYD,

Since the loss of my husband, I live alone and spend my evenings watching TV.  But I don’t watch indiscriminately.  There are plenty of good programs to choose from nowadays!  I’m a big fan of “Walking Dead,” but it’s not the only TV show I watch.  Then when I had this dream, I began to wonder if I should change my viewing habits!  Tell me what you think.

In the first part of the dream I learn that my friend “Ellie” has died.  Many of our women friends are upset and worried.  One of them, “Missy,” who’s just as smart, skilled and funny as Ellie says, “What will we do without her?”  This surprises me a little.  I didn’t know she was that well regarded.  I think it’s sad that she’s gone, but we are strong enough to manage without her.

Then, Ellie and I are sitting together and she’s not dead.  But she’s explaining to me the first symptoms she noticed before she became a zombie!  Her toenail popped off.  We look down at her feet and see it happen.  This worries me, because I had a toenail pop off too!

Next someone is telling me to use a whistle to change my voice.  “No one will know it’s you,” they say.  This bothers me too.  Why would I want to change my voice?  Why would I not want to be recognized?  I don’t feel totally afraid, just a little, but I don’t like any of this!  Then I wake up.

Signed,

Am I Becoming a Zombie?

 

Dear Zombie,

It would be easy enough to start these comments with an admonition about becoming a zombie in front on your TV set!  That caution could be worth considering:  Take an objective look at the time you spend with your electronic pal.  Have you slipped into a passive habit unintentionally?

But your dream includes two friends so I’m encouraged to believe that the TV isn’t your only outlet, or at least, it hasn’t always been.  You have been an active part of a group of lively and stimulating women.  Perhaps you’ve become less engaged with them for some reason.  Your dream suggests that a part of you is puzzled and worried at your level of disengagement.  Are you just going through the motions, somehow, like the walking dead?

Your dream also suggests that you are more highly regarded than you know.  If after your loss, you’ve removed yourself from the action, so to speak, the smart, funny, skilled part of yourself asks the question of your less active, more zombie-like self, “What will we do without her?”  On some level this is the question you’re asking yourself. 

You know it’s happening to you.  You recognize the symptoms as your own.  But why would you change your voice and go unrecognized?  Why become a zombie when you have a fun and engaging life calling to you?  You are strong enough to go on, Dear Dreamer!  You control the remote!  

Sweet Dreams to You!

SMYD

sendmeyourdreams@mail.com       

You Might be Eleanor Roosevelt!

Our Dreamer Writes:

Dear SMYD,

Here’s a weird one for you:  I dreamed that Eleanor Roosevelt was in the precarious and even comical position of trying to climb onto the top shelf of an étagère.  The shelves displayed ceramic figurines of Victorian men and women.  Each time Ms. Roosevelt would get to a top shelf and start to station herself there, the cabinet would wobble and tip.  She’d say, “oops!” and start her climb again.  When some of the figurines did fall and break, I began trying to glue them back together, matching heads and bodies as best I could.

Now, I’ve admired Eleanor Roosevelt for many years.  Her dignity in the face of difficult circumstances always impressed me.  She dealt with the public humiliation of her husband’s affairs with more grace than I could ever muster.  She kept her own private life quiet too.  But why in the world would I be dreaming of her?  And what about her ridiculous position in the dream?

Signed,

Friend of Eleanor

 

Dear Friend,

We almost always find that our dreams are talking to us about ourselves.  Yours is no exception.  For a first tip to this likelihood, consider how your narrative of your dream shifts from talking about Ms. Roosevelt, to how you are dealing with the scenario and the “fallout” of her actions.

While you don’t offer details of what’s going on in your waking life, your dream presents some possibilities about your state of mind.  It seems to suggest that you find yourself in precarious circumstances that you consider laughable (“comical”) on some level and even deserving ridicule, just as Ms. Roosevelt does in your dream.  As she is repeatedly trying to station herself among the Victorian figures, perhaps you also are attempting to fit yourself in among Victorian values, or a stiff and formal setting.  She kept up appearances for society’s sake.  Do you find that you also are presenting a front to the world that is out of sync with your private life or thoughts?

Each time she almost gets herself situated the show (the display case) tips and teeters, and sometimes, the Victorian image falls apart.  It’s you who tries to recreate the image by piecing together mismatched heads and bodies. 

That mismatch could also speak to a break between what a person thinks intellectually as opposed to what she knows intuitively.  Discounting gut feelings is a tricky business Dear Dreamer, and seldom offers peace of mind or security of station.

Does this dream mean your husband is having affairs, or that you’re secretly gay?  Probably not.  It’s just as likely that the dream illustrates a waking life drama with parallel story lines playing itself out in your daily situation. 

To get to a dream’s underlying theme, it can be helpful to restate it in general terms:  Someone is trying to get comfortable in a public display of outdated values.  When the façade is broken, someone tries to piece it back together.  Ring a bell?

Sweet Dreams to You, Dear Dreamer!

SMYD

sendmeyourdreams@mail.com