Dream Interpretation - Clean up your own mess!

Our second session in the series of three dream work workshops is coming up Sunday, June 14^th.  We will turn our focus to two powerful techniques for putting our dreams to work for us.  These are lucid dreaming and dream incubation.  While lucid dreams and incubation are naturally occurring phenomena, participants will learn step-by-step methods for inducing them and working ‘hands on’ with the dreams that follow.  Join us if you can!  Details at http://www.meetup.com/Send-Me-Your-Dreams/

Dear Carolyn,

I hope you can help me with a recurring dream that is embarrassing to talk about, but it bothers me a little bit more every time I have it.  Each time, the dream is a little bit different, but the main thing is that I come upon a pile of feces.  Sometimes it’s in the corner; other times it’s out in the open.  In the most recent version, the feces was expanding!  Each time I come upon the mess, I shake my head in dismay and say to myself, “There it is again.”  I know I will clean it up.  I do not feel happy about it, but it must be done.

Signed,

Stuck with the Mess

Dear Stuck,

Your experience with this recurring dream is indicative of how recurring dreams work and why.  Recognize that recurring dreams come to us in conjunction with recurring waking events in our lives.  So the best and quickest way to get a handle on what this dream is telling you is to make some notes about the most recent iteration.

Start with a detailed description of the dream.  Include the setting, any other characters, how you come upon the mess, and of course, your feelings when you realize you will be cleaning up again.

Next, make at least some bullet point notes about the events or circumstances that are at the forefront in your waking life right now.  Include anything that is coming up shortly.

If this activity doesn’t make it clear immediately what it is in waking life that puts you in the position of mopping up an unpleasant mess, just set your notes aside.  It won’t be too long before you have the dream again (sorry!).  When you do, repeat the steps above.  Soon you will see that the dream comes up when you have to follow up behind a friend or family member who starts things, messes them up, walks away, for example.

You will recognize the feeling of dismay instantly.  But our dreams do not come to tell us what we already know.  Rather, they bring to consciousness what we may act upon to improve our lives and those of others.  What’s important is what you do next, Dear Dreamer.

Maybe you are content to be in the janitorial role in your dreams and in your waking life.  If so, do nothing.  If not, you now have the information you need, and hopefully the wherewithal, to make some changes so that those making messes take on the responsibility for cleaning them up!

Sweet Dreams to You!

sendmeyourdreams@yahoo.com        

Learn to use your dreams

Our dreams offer us value and enjoyment on multiple levels. 

Perhaps the greatest value of the material in our dreams is its pragmatic nature.  Our nightly dreams come to us in service of our daily health and well-being.  Like a loving parent or mentor, our dreams offer insights into our own puzzling and sometimes confounding behavior patterns, the intricacies of our relationships, our physical and mental health, and the world around us.

To these ends, our dreams offer us a unique perspective.  Consider your dream’s apparent ability to view you and your daily life from above, as though from a helicopter.  Our dreams seem to have a 360 degree view of us as well as the capacity to see us from within. 

Maybe on a subconscious level we know what our dreams tell us, but we are often too deep in the forest of daily business to find the pathways our dreams readily see. 

No doubt, the language of dreams can be perplexing, but it can be learned.  Those who take the time are rewarded with the universal “ah ha!” of self-knowledge and an opportunity to progress beyond a snag in their personal growth and development.

Our dreams also bring beauty in images and sensations that simply are not available to us in our waking lives.  Their contributions to the creative accomplishments of some of the most exalted writers, artists, musicians and thinkers of all time are well-documented.  And such dreams are available to us all.

Dreams of flying are among the most pleasurable of all.  Most of us hold memories of such dreams for our lifetimes.  These dreams are valuable for the exhilaration alone, but can also offer the impetus for exploring new horizons in life.

In each weekly column, we attempt to help dreamers make the connections their dreams present while sharing methods and strategies for working with dreams.  Now, we are offering a series of Dreamwork Workshops for our readers’ benefit and enjoyment.

Sunday, June 7^th ~ Session 1 will offer dreamwork basics for understanding your dreams and applying their insights to your daily life and lifelong aspirations.  Recognizing symbols, metaphors, puns and plays on words are the building blocks we will explore.

Sunday, June 14^th ~ Session 2 offers more advanced strategies developed by the leaders in the dreamwork community including Projective dreamwork by Jeremy Taylor, PhD, Co-Founder of the International Association for the Study of Dreams and the Marin Institute for Projective Dreamwork; and Dream Themes by Robert Gongloff, Past President of the IASD.

Sunday, June 28^th ~ Session 3 will explore the power and beauty of dream incubation and lucid dreaming.  We will present methods for ‘hatching’ a dream that responds to a dreamer’s specific problem or question.  In addition, we will offer the processes used to induce lucid dreams and the many possibilities such dreams raise.

For details please visit Benicia Dreamwork Meetup: http://www.meetup.com/Benicia-Dreamwork-Meetup/?scheduleNow=true

You may attend one, two or all three sessions.  Hope to see you there!

Sweet dreams to you, Dear Dreamer!

Sex, death and automobiles!

In anticipation of the 31^st Annual Conference of the International Association for the Study of Dreams, to be held at the Doubletree Hotel at the Berkeley Marina, June 4-8, 2014, let’s take a look at some timeless insights into dream meaning by the Reverend JeremyTaylor, Co-Founder and Past President of the IASD.

Dear Dreamers,

You most likely have known me to dissuade you from subscribing to any source of information about dreams that claims to know definitively that “if you dream ‘this’ it means ‘this.’”

Dreams are too personal and too complex to be reduced to such simplistic terms!

But, having said that, we can look to certain archetypal images that occur in dreams across the spectrum of dreamers.  Even their implications for an individual dreamer cannot be summed up in a pat “definition;” but as former President of the International Association for the Study of Dreams, Reverend Jeremy Taylor says, their metaphorical message “turns out to be true so often, that it’s worth asking if it might be true” for the current dream you’re working on. 

Keeping mindful of the already-stated caveat, Taylor goes on to discuss several dream images with which you are no doubt are familiar:

1.      1.  Vehicles, specifically automobiles:  These will frequently provide analogies to the physical self.  If something is wrong with your car in your dream, it is a good starting place to look for a corresponding physical symptom in your own body.  Or, there may be a literal tie to your actual, waking-life automobile.  Brakes fail in your dream; check your brakes in your waking life.

      2.   Death:  In our dreams, is not to be feared.  Death represents a dramatic change through emotional growth.  You cannot grow up and become, let’s say, a more empathetic person until you experience the death of your self-centered, uncaring self.  Even dreams of suicide speak to our deliberate choice to change our way of being in waking life.  In effect, death is the necessary precursor to rebirth as a “new, improved” person!

3.     3. Sex:  Almost always, overt sex in our dreams will be addressing a longing in our waking life.  Here it is important to spend time understanding our sex partner.  If your dreaming self has you in an intimate embrace with a former professional colleague, for example, it will be helpful to think about the salient qualities that person has.  Your dream suggests that you are longing to make them your own.  According to Taylor, dreams of same sex love or attraction reflect your own deepening sense of self-acceptance.

There are, of course, many more archetypal images that frequent our dreams.  Beginning your exploration with such timeless approaches is a sure gateway to understanding your dreams.  From there, dream work shifts naturally to the personal application that will change your thinking and change your life!

If you can attend the IASD Conference in Berkeley, by all means do!  You will have a rich and worthwhile experience.  In any case, please continue to Send Me Your Dreams!

Sweet Dreams to You!

sendmeyourdreams@yahoo.com

Dreamer throws hand grenade down the storm drain!

If your dream presents you with an explosion or even the potential for one, you must pay close attention to its implications.  Today’s dreamer seems out of harm’s way, but still should validate that conclusion with her doctor.

Dear SMYD,

At a reunion recently, I sat at the kitchen table with four generations of women from my family.  I had a great time except for learning one extremely troubling thing:  My mom and aunts and grandma all talked about a debilitating condition that they say runs in our family.  I know it’s partly superstition, but now I’m really scared.

Then I dreamed I was standing on a metal grid over a storm drain.  I was with another woman who was dressed as though she was from the 30’s.  She wore a big wool camel-colored coat with broad padded shoulders.  She had auburn hair in a 1930’s coif.  She was beautiful with perfect skin and red lips.  We were standing side-by-side on this grid over a storm drain.  It must have rained - the streets were wet.

Then a young man came and handed her something.  I could see that it was a hand grenade and he had pulled the pin.  It had that lever on the side that when released would allow it to explode.  Somehow I got it from her and pushed it between the metal bars of the grid.

It started to fall and I knew it was going to explode below us.  But it continued to fall for a long, long, long time.  When it finally did explode it was so far below us that it was amazing.  We had no idea the drainpipe was so long and deep.  We heard it explode and could see the flash of the explosion, but we were unharmed and laughed a little laugh of relief.

Signed,

Family Bombshell

Dear Bombshell,

Your dream seems to speak about the things deep in your family history -  from grandmother’s generation and earlier - that you are worried could be harmful to you.  You are standing there with someone who could be your grandmother, looking beautiful and perfect, when this bomb arrives, similar to the way the news was delivered to you at the table.

You mention your belief that the condition your family members referred to is mostly superstition.  So in your dream, you stuff it into the drain pipe even though you know it is going to explode.  This is not your best plan of action.  While you do not want to assume a literal meaning for your dream, it is prudent to respond to all possibilities.  Check with your doctor about the condition and its propensity to follow families.  Then you can set your mind at ease.

Happily, in your dream the explosion is so deep, so far below, it is essentially harmless.  This is most likely the outcome you will find as you complete your due diligence in researching with your doctor.  Then you can again laugh that little laugh of relief.

Sweet Dreams to You, Dear Dreamer!

Dreamer worries about losing her head at work

Anne Boleyn lost her head, perhaps because she failed to understand the politics in Henry VIII's castle.  But today's dreamer has a good role model to help her avoid the pitfalls  at work.

Today’s dreamer has taken big steps toward putting her dream into the context of her waking life events.  We can readily see how her dream offers insights into her new job and the office politics she fears.

Dear Carolyn,

I had a dream about navigating customs at a Turkish airport.  A manager from my real-life office, a woman of Middle Eastern ancestry, helped me through customs in my dream world.  There was a bathroom at the airport with make-up bottles that women had thrown away because they knew they could not take liquid make-up through customs.  There was a maze-like hallway in the dream with switchbacks and dead ends.  The bathroom was at the end of one of these turnaround points.

 In real life, this particular woman from the dream seems to be one of the up and comers, one of the insiders in my new office situation where a surprising number of seemingly good individuals (in my judgment) have been re-assigned, demoted, or have resigned recently.  Could it be that things are not always what they seem on the surface, whether it is a woman painted with make-up or a people engaged in office politics?  Will it help to stop wearing make up to work?  Or, could it be that make-up is a metaphor for wearing a game face or not wearing make-up could be a metaphor for being my authentic self?  Just curious.  In real life, I realize there will always be office politics, but it always makes me shiver a bit when the axe falls and heads roll.  Now I know how Anne Boleyn must have felt.  Please don't use my real name in your column.  I would hate to lose my head by someone else's hand!  I have enough trouble keeping it on my shoulders.  

Signed,

The Queen’s Sister

Dear Sister,

You have many good leads to follow in your dream and your insights are right on track. 

You mention that you are in a new job and the manager who guides you in your dream is helping you “navigate customs.”  Consider it a play on words.  Rather than the literal meaning of passing through airport customs, you have to learn the norms and conventions – the customs – of your new workplace.  Happily, you have a guide or role model who is an “up and comer, an office insider” who knows the pitfalls of the terrain.  Follow her example.

You don’t have to stop wearing your make-up to work!  Rather, your dream suggests that you should be yourself, and you can do that with your make-up on as usual.  True, we all have game faces, or work faces that differ from our casual faces.  We adjust our manners and mannerisms to the various situations in which we operate during the course of a day.   

Be yourself, work diligently and you will fare well in your new environment – so long as you don’t dally with the King!

Sweet Dreams to You!

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How to heal a broken heart

Whenever we dream of our money, our valuables or the places we store them, that dream is not necessarily speaking about actual cash or jewelry, but something intangible we hold dear.  Then the setting or the outcome of the dream is most relevant.  What happens to your “stuff” and how you feel about it are keys to understanding your dream’s message.  Today’s dream shows the dreamer’s loss of everything out of her wallet, almost.

Dear SMYD,

My parents say that someone my age cannot experience true love.  Teenagers are too young to know the meaning of the word, so my mom says.  I know she is trying to help me get over being dumped by my boyfriend, but it doesn't help.  I am in pain, real pain!  Even my best friend just says to go out with other guys as a remedy.  I tried it with a really cute guy and broke out crying in the middle of the date!  “Just get over it!” is not working.  I am so sad every day and I don’t know what to do.

Now I have had this weird dream and it really bothered me.  Please tell me what you think it means:  Someone stole everything out of my wallet – my paycheck and my first credit card, everything!  I was so upset I cried and cried.  I was sobbing my eyes out until I suddenly realized that I still had my ID and pictures of my mom and dad and my brother.  For some reason then I knew that everything was going to be OK. 

Signed,

Broken Hearted

Dear Broken Hearted,

While it is not the same as a more mature, “eyes wide open” love, young love is real, and first love is most poignant.  A broken heart is painful no matter how old you are!

Many of us, young and older, put so much value into our relationship with a significant other that we lose a bit of who we are without that person.  We surrender too much of ourselves and think our lives have meaning only in relation to the other person.  This may be what your parents are trying to guard against.  They know that the best relationships most often come when two fully-formed, independent people decide to join forces.

Your dream suggests that you gave up a lot of yourself to be with the guy who dumped you.  When he left, he “stole” your most valued possession, your self-esteem.  At first, through your sobbing and grief, you thought you had lost your very identity.  But no, Dear Dreamer!  Your dream reveals that you still have your ID and your family, those who truly love and support you.

You have heard that time heals all wounds.  It truly does.  So while it seems impossible to you now, it is certain that you will emerge a stronger person and better partner in your next go-round.  As for the young man who hurt you, remember also that Time wounds all Heels.

Sweet Dreams to You!

Don't let the pond scum keep you down!

In dreams, animals that live below the surface can signify thoughts kept private.

When the action of a dream takes place underground or in the back yard, or behind any building, it suggests thoughts or a state of mind that is private or behind the scenes.  Today’s dream provides an example of how background can affect foreground.

Dear SMYD,

I dreamed that whales and dolphins were swimming in my backyard!  They were leaping and splashing, extremely playful and fun to watch.  I was thrilled, and so excited and happy to see them.  I knew they were a good sign, that they meant good things.  I couldn’t wait to tell my husband about them.  But I also felt frustrated when I tried to find him.

Then, when I went back to see the all the animals and to show them off, there weren’t as many there.  There weren’t any whales at all.  All that was left were seals and dolphins and they seemed less playful.  And the water had some scum in the corner nearest the house.  It was green like algae that forms on stagnant water.  This was upsetting to me.  I didn’t know what to do.

The next day, when I tried to talk to my husband about it, all he said was that I worry too much about pollution!  I am concerned about the environment, but even though the pond scum bothered me, I think the dream is about something else.  What do you make of it?

Signed,

Sad about the Whales

Dear Sad,

Your dream has selected an image and a concept that are important to you to draw attention another aspect of your life that may be languishing.

In your very own backyard, or below the surface of your consciousness, are playing some beautiful and powerful animals.  Whales and dolphins inspire awe not only fortheir wild beauty, but also for the intelligence we are learning more and more about.  Even in your dream you knew their appearance signaled positive things.  For you, this dream illustrates those powerful, positive and playful energies playing just below the surface.  You have kept this part of yourself behind the scenes, but now you’d like to show it off to the world.

The scum suggests a negative element creeps in and keeps you from expressing the joy and creativity that is thriving within you and ready to burst forth.  Don’t give in to pedestrian or pessimistic thoughts that seep into your mind, Dear Dreamer!  If allowed to expand, like the algae in your dream, they can suck the air out of your playful self, limit your creative impulses, and consign you to frustration and acceptance of the mundane.

Your husband mentioned your caring concern for the environment, and this may the appropriate focus for your talent and energy.  But you may also have an idea that you have not yet expressed to the outside world, something that you have dreamed of, but are shy to pursue.  Find anoutlet for this part of yourself and you find a richer life.

Sweet Dreams to You!

SMYD

Security doesn't always mean happiness

Our pets may appear in our dreams acting as an aspect of ourselves.  Is your pet courageous?  Always there to protect you?  Or, is she timid and afraid of her own shadow?  Her personality trait in your dream most likely points to a trait of your own that is helping you or holding you back.

Dear SMYD,

My mother is impatient with my love life.  She has thrown up her hands at me.  I was divorced more than 10 years ago and she wants to see me remarried, settled down and secure.  I have dated a few men since the divorce and mom has approved of every one.  But each one has had a personal habit or a character flaw that I did not want to live with.  She thinks I am too picky and unrealistic.

Now I have been dating Don for several months, and mom and I are going through the same argument.  She thinks I should marry him (he seems inclined to propose sometime soon) and I am feeling uncertain.  He is a good man, but holds on a little too tight if you know what I mean.

Here’s my dream:  I have Sweetie, my dog, under my arm and I am running toward a storm shelter.  Sweetie didn’t like what was happening and struggled to get free and run away.  I kept her with me knowing what was good for her – that she would be safe with me and that I would know where she was, which would make me feel better.

Storms were coming.  There were big clouds coming toward me.  They were white and the sun was also shining.  We had to run up a hill to the shelter.  A man was there showing us the way, waving his arms like he was directing traffic.  He looked kind of like Don.

So what do you make of this dream?

Signed,

Running from a Storm

Dear Running,

It seems clear that you and Sweetie have a prominent trait in common:  Neither of you likes to be held too closely or prevented from enjoying your freedom. 

In your dream, you force Sweetie to go with you toward the “shelter” where Don beckons.  But she struggles to free herself, even though you, or more likely the mother in you, purports to know what is good for her. 

What is there to run from, Dear Dreamer?  Sure, there are clouds in the sky, but white clouds on a sunny day, not dark threatening stormy clouds.  Why would you go into a shelter?  Don calls you to join him.  He clearly represents a safe place, but perhaps more safety than is called for.  That kind of “safety” can be stifling, as you already know. 

Your mother’s intentions are good, Dear Dreamer.  She “knows what’s good for you,” and for her that means security above all else.  But you, not she, will have to live in the confined space where Don controls the traffic.  Your dream says to trust your own instincts. 

Sweet Dreams to You!

Dreamer's grandma still knows best

Dreams of a loved one who has passed away can be especially powerful.  All the memories and emotions associated with that person emerge.  Many feel that these are actual communications from the departed.  But even for those who do not accept that explanation, such dreams can offer important insights for the dreamer.

Dear Carolyn,

My grandmother and I became very close after both my parents died when I was still a young woman.  We could talk about everything!  This was a wonderful discovery for me since I didn’t really know her that well before because we lived in different states across the country.  At that time in my life it was amazing to talk with her about men!  I had several failed relationships and she had experience I never knew about.  (Up until then I only knew “grandma stuff” about her.)  She gave me some great advice that has stuck with me all these years.

Now, she has been gone many years and I am at a very different point in my life.  This week I had an extremely poignant dream about her.  In it, I am kneeling in front of her and I am so happy to see her!  She takes my face in her hands and looks at me with such love.  We both are teary-eyed.  But then, just as she is about to tell me something important, the dream ends.

I felt so glad to have had this experience – it wasn’t like other dreams.  It seemed like I was really with her!  I was sad to wake up and especially sad that I didn’t get to hear what she had to say!

Signed,

Missing Grandma’s Advice

Dear Missing,

A Freudian approach to your dream would suggest that your yearning for your grandmother produced a dream about her, and dismiss it as that.  At the other end of the spectrum are those who would say that this is without a doubt a visit from beyond the grave.

The distinction may be less important than the application of the dream’s content to your waking life. 

One of the most important things you have retained from your days with your grandmother was learning about her life’s experience and the advice she offered to you in what seems to have been a tumultuous time in your life.  You do not give too many details, but perhaps there is something in your life now that could use a bit of Grandma’s wisdom.  Chances are good that if you review key relationships you have now, at home, at work and in the community, there is a place where her kind of wisdom applies. 

You mention that your grandmother surprised you with her knowledge and understanding of romantic relationships.  That’s a good place to start.  Did she offer you a cardinal rule?  Even though she didn’t speak it in the dream before you woke, chances are good that she would say that rule still applies today.

Sweet Dreams to You, Dear Dreamer!

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Vehicles in our dreams often speak to our modes of operating or negotiating the obstacles we encounter in life.  If the wheels are flat or damaged our ability to move through difficult times is compromised.  The bicycle in today’s dream is a good example:

Dear SMYD,

Years ago I worked with a young man whom I’ll call “Steven.”  He was smart and handsome and had a big heart.  But he seemed to have a hole inside that he couldn’t fill.  He wanted to be loved, but never seemed to understand that he was loved and even admired by his peers.  My heart ached for him!

I’ve had a big emotional blow recently, and now I have dreamed about Steven.  Seeing him again, even in a dream, got me feeling worried like I did back when I was trying to help him see that his glass was half full, and that everything would ultimately be OK.

In the dream, Steven came to me asking if I would buy his bicycle.  He didn’t really want to sell it, but he needed the money.  I didn’t need a bicycle, but I gave him $50 for it as a charity.  I stored the bike in a beautiful, well-appointed area, but the public had access to it, and someone damaged it.  When Steven came back wanting to buy his bicycle, its front wheel was bent and warped and had no tire. 

I felt bad but defended my actions saying after all, the bike was mine.  Only then did I realize that a better way to have helped Steven would have been to buy the bike and then ask him to keep it for me.  That way he could have the money he needed and his bike in good condition.  And I could feel strong and smart and magnanimous for helping him on his way. 

Then, the most amazing thing happened:  The dream replayed with this alternate ending!  Isn’t that the happiest ending ever!

Signed,

Do Over

Dear Do Over,

It appears that you were a counselor of some sort when you knew Steven.  You could see all the solid and empowering qualities he embodied, even if he couldn’t see them.  Your task and goal was to help him and support him as he found his way to equilibrium.

Now, your task is to help yourself in a similar way.  But, having experienced an emotional blow that has you feeling weakened and needy like Steven, your dream shows you giving yourself what might be considered half  ($50 – only 50%) of the same support that you need.

The bicycle in your dream suggests your balance is clearly compromised because of the shock you have been dealt.  You must be wobbling, reeling from the blow.

Like Steven, you may not recognize that you too are smart, handsome and have a big heart.  Give yourself 100% of the self-love and self-confidence you deserve.  When you accept it, you will be able to cruise past this setback with ease.

Sweet Dreams to You, Dear Dreamer!

SMYD

Even a sip of rum can be playing with fire for a recovering alcoholic.

The dreams of addicts present a special case.  Dreams of relapse among addicts and alcoholics are common.  They can be unsettling and require careful attention.

Dear Carolyn,

I spent too many years drinking too much.  I guess my story is typical in that it took the deterioration of friendships, loss of close relationships, and the near-loss of my job to wake me up.  I went into rehab and turned my life around.  I've been sober for more than six months now and the world is a different place!  So you can imagine how disturbing it was for me to dream of drinking again!

In the dream I am in a mall pushing a shopping cart.  Everything around me is white.  The walls are white; the floors are white; the shopping cart is white – everything I can see is white except a glass of rum.  (I was not a rum drinker.  Mostly, I drank wine to excess.)  In the dream, I would take a sip of rum and then ask myself if I had to reset my “birthday.”  That’s the date of my sobriety.  It marks the beginning of a new life.  After the first drink, the answer was “no.”  So I had another drink and asked the same question, “Do I have to reset my birthday?”  Again it was “no.”

Then, I seemed to know I was dreaming.  I could see that I was going to get drunk and to hurt myself, to have to start over.  With that, I woke up.  Even though it seemed almost funny when I woke up, I felt relieved to leave the dream behind.

Signed,

Scared of a Relapse

Dear Scared,

Researchers suggest that dreaming of an addiction during recovery is indicative of the depth of work an addict is doing.  In other words, you are working on your rehabilitation during your waking hours as well as during your dreams!

The fact that you became lucid during this dream, that moment when you stepped back during the dream and were able to see what was happening from an objective viewpoint, is further evidence that you are not only working on your sobriety, but you are able to observe your own process fairly effectively.

Your dream is set in a sterile environment, all white, and may speak to an experiment that you (and any addict) might be mulling over.  You were not a rum drinker, but in the dream you begin taking sips of rum testing whether you become drunk and have to start the process of sobriety over.  In other words, you ask, “Could I get away with a careful sip of alcohol?”

Beware of this Dear Dreamer!  Some research suggests that dreaming of relapsing can weaken a recovering addict’s resolve.  Hold fast to this admonition from Summit Behavioral Health experts in Princeton, NJ:   You do not have control over what you dream about, and what you dream about does not have control over what you do.

Sweet Dreams to You!