Dream to Dreamer - Stop worrying!

Dreams of falling and flying are among the shared dreams across age groups and cultures.  One speaks to insecurity and the other to freedom to soar.  Today’s dream offers a taste of both.

Dear SMYD,

I am at a good point in my life.  Not that everything is perfect, but I just can’t ask for more than I have right now.  My marriage is good; kids are finally on their own and doing pretty well independently.  I have no worries at work.  The worst thing that happens is my occasional thought that things can’t go on like this forever.  Something is bound to go wrong.  I try to be grateful every day.  At the same time, I am afraid that a disaster will befall us and take all this happiness away. 

I dreamed that I was working my way around an incredibly high rock face.  It was bowed outward and I had my back flattened against it and my arms outstretched as I inched my way along.  The sky was blue and I was so high up that I could even see some wispy clouds below me.  Even farther below was a beautiful blue ocean.  Everything was so beautiful that I almost felt like I would jump!  In fact, I wanted to jump just to see how it would feel.  But it was very scary.  Then I decided not to jump.  And I continued to edge along as I had been going.

Signed,

Scared of Heights

Dear Scared,

Your dream depicts your current state of mind metaphorically:  As you stated, everything around you in your waking life is beautiful, but you are able to enjoy it only in a limited way because of your fear of disaster.  Thus you find yourself on the precipice, in constant fear, yet surrounded by breathtaking beauty.  As in your waking life, in your dream you worry about future loss instead of drinking in the present.

But the dream doesn’t simply retell what you already know.  It shows that you make the conscious decision to continue as you are – inching along in fear, not fully enjoying what you have and limiting yourself to that overly cautious, dreadful way of operating. 

Your dream suggests that you are seized by a frightened mindset that keeps you nervous and tentative, forever trying to avoid what may never happen.  You had a moment in your dream where you considered taking off, ‘just to see how it would feel’ to be free.  Your dream is pointing to a part of you that wants to fly.  Try to imagine the feeling you would have experienced if you had taken the leap in your dream! 

Chances are, you are restricting yourself from even trying something adventurous just because you don’t want to rock the boat of your almost perfect life.  Don’t worry about failures, Dear Dreamer; worry instead about the chances you miss when you don’t even try.

It’s important to remember that worry doesn’t take away tomorrow’s troubles; it takes away today’s joy. 

Sweet Dreams to You!

Dream interpretation - no need to duck your high school reunion

Figures from our past often appear in our dreams.  They most often will represent traits we have carried forward that may or may not be helpful now.  Or, they may illustrate a dreamer’s own attitude toward himself, one based in past circumstances applied to the dreamer’s current waking life, whether appropriate or not.  Consider today’s example of old high school buddies “haunting” the dreams of our dreamer.

Dear SMYD,

I don’t know why a couple of guys I haven’t seen since high school keep appearing in my dreams!  “Charlie” and “Albert” and I were good buddies.  We hung out together every day before, during and after school.  We were on the straight and narrow back in those days. 

But after graduation, we took different routes.  They were in the college set.  I could have been too, I guess, but it didn’t work out that way.  Anyway, I’m pretty sure they’re ‘main stream’ kind of guys now and I am living an ‘alternate lifestyle.’  I’m comfortable this way except when my kids want things I can’t afford.

Maybe because another reunion is coming up, they’re in my dreams again.  Here’s the latest one:

I saw Charlie and Al coming into a hallway and decided to slip behind a door rather than to encounter them and have to explain myself.  When I stepped behind the door, Charlie peeked through the crack between the door and door jam and we made eye contact.  Then, even though I didn’t want to, I had to step out to say ‘hello.’  He was not happy with me.  He was disappointed in me somehow.  It was an uncomfortable situation.

Next we were on an open field and a Frisbee or badminton shuttlecock or something came flying toward me.  It had sheer cloth streaming along behind.  Charlie caught it or deflected it. 

Signed,

Avoiding Charlie and Al

Dear Avoider,

By their very nature, high school reunions trigger self-reviews.  That milestone constitutes a perfect opportunity to look back and see how far we’ve come.  Also, they present an occasion for competition and comparison.  And who better for you to compare yourself to than your old buddies?  The key for you will be remembering that it is you making the comparison, not them.

In your dream, you first try to duck the judgment.  Keep in mind though that Charlie’s disappointment represents that part of yourself that may be a little saddened that you didn’t push yourself harder.  That is most likely what you’re hiding from behind the door – your own view of yourself.  It’s important to note that this is how you compare yourself to him, not necessarily the other way around. 

Other than wanting to spoil your children, you say you’re happy with your choices.  And when you’re out in the open in your dream, the only missile that threatens you is a toy.  Charlie deflects that one – an indicator he might be easier on you than you are on yourself. 

Sweet Dreams to You, Dear Dreamer!

SMYD

Dream advice to new kid at school: Don't try too hard

If you find yourself in a foreign country in your dream, most likely it reflects a waking circumstance that is new and uncomfortable to you.  Today’s young dreamer struggles to find her way and her dream offers some guidance.

Dear SMYD,

My family moved and I had to change schools this year.   We live in a better place and the school is better too.  I have new friends and it’s all good, but I still feel insecure.  I’m on the outside of a lot of inside jokes, if you know what I mean.  Anyway, here’s my dream:

I dreamed I was in the cafeteria with my new friends, but at a fancy hotel.  The lunch line was picked over – not much to eat.  I learned there was another lunch line on the other side of the cafeteria so I went there to get some water.  But when I did, I separated myself from the group.

I was wearing stilettos for some reason and all of a sudden I was in a foreign city, maybe Rio de Janeiro.  I can walk amazingly well in the stilettos, but kept being separated from the group.  I kept going around the block, never getting to my friends.  I always wind up on the side away from them.

The sidewalks were dangerous like an earthquake had broken them and they were not repaired.  I was confused as to whether I should go straight or turn at an intersection. 

I turned and an older man started walking with me.  He looked kind of like my grandpa.  He told me to sit with Lisa.  She and I are going to be on a softball team together.  I had probably overstated my softball experience, but that was okay.  She said she would keep score.

Signed,

New Kid at School

Dear New Kid,

Your dream reflects some of your emotions at being in a new school – circumstances foreign to you – like Rio de Janeiro would be.  It’s natural for you to want to fit in, while at the same time feeling separated from the group.  Your dream shows you, in effect, walking on eggshells around them using the metaphor of stilettos on broken pavement.

It is hard being outside of the history they share; and they may be a little unkind when telling inside jokes around you.  So maybe you even stretch the truth a little bit to impress them, as you did in your dream by overstating your prowess in softball. 

Give yourself credit for walking this “dangerous ground” with skill.  And, consider if this is the group you really want to hang with, Dear Dreamer.  No matter what you do, you always wind up away from them.  Must you always work so hard with true friends?

Your grandpa’s advice is important to remember.  From a picked over lunch line with few choices, he steers you toward Lisa.  Her compassionate “softball” attitude is the key.  Good to know she’s the one keeping score. 

Sweet Dreams to You!

Dream interpretation - Justin Timberlake could save your marriage

A dream of marriage offers a wide range of applications to the dreamer’s waking life.  It could be speaking almost literally about the current state of the dreamer’s relationship with her spouse.  On a metaphorical level, marriage in a dream can refer to commitment, or lack of it, to one’s self and one’s goals.

Dear SMYD,

I have heard many times about the seven year itch in a marriage.  Well, “James” and I have been married almost 10 years now!  But really, I am very happy and can’t think of too much that I would change.  Our life may not be exciting, but it is secure and comfortable.  So maybe the dream I had is just idle fantasy or wishful thinking.  I feel kind of disloyal even having the dream, let alone talking about it!  I do have a silly crush on Justin Timberlake, but it’s nothing.  James and I joke about it all the time. 

Anyway, here’s the dream:

Justin Timberlake wants to buy me a new wedding ring.  I am flattered but also embarrassed to even be in the conversation with him!  Justin is very persistent and I keep telling him, “No, I don’t need a new ring and I’m happily married.” 

But the next thing I know, Justin gives me a new ring anyway.  It is beautiful – made with lots of diamond baguettes.  I have to admit that I like the ring and even though I still feel funny about it, I decide to accept it.  Then I see that it doesn’t have a central diamond like most wedding sets have.  The ring’s mounting prongs are sticking up and empty!

One last thing:  In real life, since we were first engaged, James has always said he’s going to buy me a bigger diamond someday.

Signed,

Justin Timberlake Fan

Dear Fan,

Something’s missing for you and your dream offers a couple of options to consider.  First let’s think about Justin Timberlake.  You don’t mention specific things about him that attract you, but let’s say it’s his talent, his energy, his love of life.  Consider those as traits that you, yourself might want to commit to, but don’t.  Your dream may be suggesting that you have a talent or energy that is yearning for an outlet, tempting you with a new ring that you admit you like, but accept uncomfortably.  Have you allowed your love of life to languish for lack of commitment or discomfort at stepping out of your routine?  

On the other hand, your dream may reflect the idle fantasy you mention as regards your relationship with James, symbolized in waking life by the bigger diamond he promised you.  Perhaps in spite of feeling secure and comfortable, you are longing for that ‘upgrade’ your circumstances have not delivered.  The fairest approach would be to review your relationship and ferret out any shreds of complacency or inertia on your side. 

Be honest with yourself, Dear Dreamer.  It isn’t solely James’s job to keep your life interesting. 

Sweet Dreams to You!

Dream warns - Disneyland's a bust

Pay close attention to “road dreams.”  These dreams will show you the path you are on, the one ahead and behind you.  Detours, crashes and U-turns offer directions or caution the dreamer to be conscious of what is going on around her.  Today’s dreamer is on a head-strong journey and her dream provides some insight into its outcome.

Dear SMYD,

I have a lot of people telling me what to do and I am pretty sick of it.  My parents and my brother and sister all seem to think they know what’s best for me and they’re aren’t shy about expressing their opinions.  I have made it clear that I plan to do what I want to do and live my life the way I want to live it.  They don’t have to like it. 

I had a hard time falling asleep last night because they had all been on my case!  When I finally did fall asleep, I had this dream – basically a nightmare. 

I dreamed I was racing along in my car on a road toward Disneyland.  I was going faster and faster in a car that isn’t really mine, but it’s a little red convertible that I love.  Potholes start showing up on the road and I can dodge between them.  It’s like an obstacle course for drivers and I’m really good at it at first.  

Then it starts getting dark and the car’s headlights are pretty dim.  I can’t see very far ahead and I hit a couple of potholes.  The car got hard to handle and when I hit the brakes, it wouldn’t stop.  I spun around and barely missed hitting another car.  It looked like my old Honda.  I hate that car and it just won’t die! 

Disneyland was right there, but it wasn’t Disneyland any more.  It was dark and overgrown with weeds.  But some kids were in there screaming and riding an old wooden rollercoaster!

What do you think it means?

Signed,

Going to Disneyland

Dear Disneyland Bound,

With apologies to your free-thinking self, your dream speaks in no uncertain terms on the side of your family. 

It offers a metaphor for your state of mind:  You heading in a hurry toward a destination you imagine will be a playground of never-ending fun – Disneyland!  But as you speed along, the road becomes more and more treacherous.  And while in the beginning you feel adept at dodging the pitfalls (potholes) of such a headlong course, it’s not too long at all before you do run into trouble.  Soon, you can no longer see far enough ahead to avoid problems.  In fact, you spin out and narrowly miss a potentially destructive collision with your more practical, trustworthy self – that old but reliable Honda!

And if you continue, what you thought would be non-stop fun and games, will turn out to be nothing more than a shabby roller coaster ride in a rundown neighborhood.

Listen to the ones who love you, Dear Dreamer!  Your well-being depends on it!

Sweet dreams to you!