Fire breathing dragon consumes dreamer

Out of this world action and a play on words highlight today’s dream, offering insights for a young dreamer struggling with growing up and separating from his family.

Dear SMYD,

This qualifies as the weirdest dream I’ve ever had!

It was New Year’s Eve.  I was spending time with family in Las Vegas like we always do.  Then I told them that I have to get back to my place in LA.  

When I was in LA, it was still as bright as noon even though it was 1am.  Everyone looked up in the sky and was wondering why it was so bright.  It was because of this massive spacecraft!  

I was trying to leave the center of downtown LA, but for some reason it felt enchanted and I was unable to do so.  The spacecraft hovered around and the whole city turned dark.  It landed right on the sidewall of a huge building and showed its real form.  It was a dragon!  

It turned its head toward my direction and breathed out fire.  I just closed my eyes as I was being engulfed by the flames.  Then I woke up.  Scary!

Wonder what it means. 

Signed,

Scared by a Dragon

Dear Scared,

Your dream has many elements that offer clues to its significance for you.  As a start, your dream is set on New Year’s Eve, a time of resolutions and new beginnings; a time for reviewing the past and looking to the future.  In your dream, this is when you seem to be restless and make an unexpected break from your family.  You tell them you’re leaving the tradition of spending time in the way you always have.  You are going to your own home in LA.

You probably recognize the break with tradition you’ve made, at least mentally if not physically.  You've broken away from the routine.  Maybe you've had a change of heart or disagreement with them on some point.  Even though this is the normal order of things, for a young man to strike out on his own, this causes upset and discomfort for your family and for you.  Whatever it is, it’s as plain as day as shown by the bright daytime light in the middle of the night.  It’s obvious, and cannot be denied.

Your dream depicts the change as something "off the wall," ~ something odd or unusual ~ something unexpected (from outer space), nothing that you would expect to be doing or thinking or involved in, yet there it is.  It turns toward you and gives you a baptism by fire.  You are a changed man!

The scary thing for you is the idea that the new way of thinking, or the change of opinion will consume you, or burn you up, change your life so you cannot go back.  But you cannot un-ring the bell, Dear Dreamer.  You’ve made the move to be your own man, now go on and live your own life.

Sweet Dreams to You!

SMYD

sendmeyourdreams@yahoo.com          

Tornado in my dream!

It is natural that events of the day find their ways into our nightly dreams.  But keep in mind that your dreams may be seizing the opportunity to point out something in the news that can serve as a metaphor for you.  Consider this dream “torn from the headlines:”

Dear SMYD,

I’m sure you’ve probably heard about all the tornadoes and devastation in Oklahoma.  I’m thankful that my family and friends escaped the terrible losses that so many have endured.  We are all unhurt.  We were actually pretty far out of harm’s way.  But I guess it’s no surprise that I dreamed of the tornadoes and all the damage they’ve done.

In my dream, I return to my neighborhood after the tornadoes have passed through, destroying everything in their path.  There is debris everywhere and people are beginning to pick through what’s left.

Next I see myself sitting on top of a heap of rubble with a shotgun across my lap.  I am stationed there to protect and defend what’s mine, even if it’s been reduced to a bunch of junk.  No one around me seems to want to steal my stuff.  Why would they?  There’s nothing of value there anymore.  In fact, the cops tell everyone to evacuate, but I refuse to go.  I sit there and guard it diligently.

To me, this dream seems to be a pretty clear rehash of the day’s events.  What do you think?

Signed,

Survived the Storm

Dear Survived,

It’s true that the events of our daily lives often provide the images and backdrops of our dreams.  Certainly anything as dramatic and traumatic as a tornado would likely be a key element of any dream that follows for those who lived through such a frightening and life-changing event. 

There are some intriguing components to your dream, though.  Most obvious is the fact that in waking life you weren’t affected by the destruction of the storms.  In fact, you say that the actual storms weren’t a direct threat to you.  But in your dream you’ve sustained damage from a storm of some sort, perhaps an emotional one.  

Your dream’s use of the current situation suggests that you’ve experienced a storm and devastation not from the actual physical storm that passed you by, but from another source.  The emotional damage is reflected by the image of the pile of debris that was once your residence, the place you lived internally, perhaps your sense of self. 

Your dream goes on to suggest that you are protecting something that doesn’t need protection.  You say yourself that the house is destroyed and now without value.  Could it be a façade you maintain or position you’ve taken that you feel you must preserve?  

The people around you present no threat, yet you have established a strong defensive posture.  Your dream points this out to you and asks, “Why?”  Why defend a thing without value?  You are the last one holding onto this front, Dear Dreamer.  Relax and let it go.

Sweet Dreams to You!

Gruesome But True

Our Dreamer Writes:

Dear SMYD,

I do love my cats, but I don’t think of myself as a “Crazy Cat Lady.”  Really!  I love the dogs, too!  I’m an animal lover, and the pets are part of our family.  But I suppose I would have to say that I feel more in harmony with the cats.  I understand cats and their behavior. 

Some people are put off by cats because they don’t understand them.  They can even be offended by a cat just being a cat.  Why get mad at nature?  So you can imagine why I was especially upset to have such a horrible dream as this one:

I dreamed that Missy, my sweet Maltese kitty, was cut completely in half.  It seemed like one last vein or one last section of her skin was all that connected the severed halves of her body.  It was stretched to the limit, almost to the point of snapping.  In spite of this, Missy pulled herself along with her front legs, acting as if everything was OK.  But I could see she would surely die.

Why in the world would I ever dream something so gruesome would happen to a cat that I love so much?  I would never hurt her!  What could this dream mean?  

Signed,

Crazy Cat Lady

 

Dear Cat Lady,

You are among the ranks of millions of people who love their pets dearly.  In addition, you are among the millions who sometimes have graphic dreams that are upsetting and frightening because they seem to come out of nowhere.  It seems such a dream can’t possibly speak for you or about you.  But of course, it does.

In fact, in your dream, you didn’t hurt your cat.  You found her already injured.  She was hurt in a very specific way.  Her upper body was almost completely separated from her lower body.  You could say that her head was detached from her heart, or her guts. 

Sorry to be so explicit, but your dream pulls no punches.  It says rather bluntly that you, Dear Dreamer, are the one who’s disconnected from her gut feelings.  You are dragging yourself along acting as though everything’s OK.  This charade disregards the obvious fact that you cannot go on this way.  Your dream shows that without question you’re “stretched to the limit, to the point of snapping.” 

On some level you know that if you continue, you will surely die.  I wouldn’t take that as a literal, physical death, Dear Dreamer.  But your dream suggests that somewhere in your waking life, you are ignoring what you know in your gut to be true – you’re pretending that life can go on as it is.

Look around yourself, Dear Dreamer.  Does someone seem put off by you because s/he doesn’t understand your nature?  Only by denying the truth, your own gut feelings, can you continue in a relationship that rejects you for being yourself.  Not a healthy way to live!

Sweet Dreams to You, Dear Dreamer!

SMYD

Caught between two lovers!

Our Dreamer Writes:

Dear SMYD,

I’ve changed the names in this dream in case my new boyfriend happens to read your column.  I don’t want to make things any worse than they are! 

I’m in a relationship now with Frank, and I’m pretty sure he’s the one for me.  But when we first got together he kept bugging me with questions, so I gave in and made the mistake of telling him about my ex, Jim.  Now Frank seems preoccupied with my past, and I’m beginning to wonder about the whole deal! 

Then last night I dreamed that I was sleeping in bed and Jim, my ex, was sleeping next to me.  I turned over to find that Frank was sleeping next to me on the other side!  After turning back and forth I was really worried about what to do.

So I woke Jim up to get him to slip out before Frank wakes up and discovers him.  But Frank does wake up and begins complaining about Jim being there!  I am very upset and afraid that Frank’s going to start a fistfight with Jim (something he’d never really do because Jim is much bigger and stronger).  That’s when I woke up feeling very upset. 

This dream’s trying to tell me something, but I don’t know what! 

Signed,

Caught Between Two Lovers

Dear Caught,

While our dreams are often metaphorical and confusing, speaking to us with complex images and bizarre activities, they sometimes just tell it like it is! 

Your dream seems to fall into the latter category, stating in very direct terms the dilemma you face:  In effect, you’ve taken your ex, Jim, to bed with you and Frank by talking about him in too much detail.  Now Frank is worried about comparisons between himself and Jim.  He brought them upon himself of course, with his relentless questions.  And perhaps his insecurities prompted you to turn and have another look at Jim yourself. 

It’s interesting to think that Frank may have inadvertently created the very circumstance he dreads ~ he bugged you with so many questions about Jim that you began thinking of Jim and making the very comparisons Frank hoped to avoid.  Your dream reflects this with your turning back and forth between them.

You say that if it came to a physical showdown Jim would win.  Perhaps he’d win in any case.  You don’t mention if Jim is still on the periphery of your life, but it doesn’t matter.  You say you’re only ‘pretty sure’ Frank’s the one for you.  And your dream confirms your mind’s not made up in favor of either of these two men.  After all, you don’t order Jim out of the room, you tell him to slip out as though to protect him.  You even protect yourself a bit since you don’t want Frank to know Jim’s there. 

Don’t make commitments when you’re on soft ground, Dear Dreamer!  Starting a new relationship before the old one’s finished creates strange bedfellows.

Sweet Dreams to You!

You don't have to understand your dreams to love them!

Our Dreamer Writes:

Dear SMYD,

I tend to dream frequently.  I often find my dreams so bizarre that they are funny and entertaining to me.  

I'm not curious about what they might mean, but I am curious as to why it is so difficult to remember most of them for more than just a few minutes after waking up.  Occasionally I can remember one throughout the day; but most seem to vanish from my memory by the time I finish my morning shower.  

I'm also interested in knowing how long a typical dream lasts?  Some seem to last for hours, but I've heard that they really only last a few seconds.  I find that really hard to imagine.

Thanks,

David in Tennessee 

Dear David,

We each dream every night, so I’m not surprised to hear you say you dream often.  Those who say they don’t dream, or dream only now and then most likely aren’t remembering their nightly journeys.  In fact, some research suggests that if a person is deprived of his REM sleep, some of that peculiar dream-like behavior or perception can spill into his waking life!

I agree!  Dreams can seem so bizarre that they are entertaining and funny.  Our dreams’ composite images and unusual juxtaposition of elements make them intriguing and irresistible.  No wonder dreams have captivated mankind for millennia!  There's value in nighttime entertainment!

Regarding forgetting your dreams so quickly, dream researchers say that during REM sleep, we experience a sort of paralysis ~ our muscles are locked.  Some suggest we retain muscle memory of a dream's content.  So, when we wake and begin to stir, we start a process that can help erase those tenuously stored memories. 

One strategy for holding onto your evening's comedy show is to lie still for a few moments when you first wake.  It’s a little more difficult than you might think to resist the urge to stretch and reposition yourself!  But close your eyes again and hold your thoughts of the upcoming day at a distance.  Take just a moment to review the memories of your dreams before you begin the process of re-entering your waking world. 

Of course, if you were to jot down even a phrase or two, you'd encourage your Dreaming Self to hang with you a little longer.

Regarding the length of a 'typical' dream, it's harder to say, but the REM cycle is part of a cycle of sleep that lasts roughly 90 minutes.  So, while a dream may seem to last for hours, it's likely that our dreams' defiance of the laws of physics and time, along with their wholly engrossing nature, create that sensation. 

You might enjoy exploring the world of lucid dreams.  Current research and discussion of lucid dreaming by Robert Waggoner in his book Lucid Dreaming:  Gateway to the Inner Self; and Stephen La Berge’s body of work offer the history and how-to’s of this fascinating element of dreaming.

Sweet Dreams to You, Dear Dreamer!

SMYD

sendmeyourdreams@mail.com

Buried Treasures are Just What They Seem

Our Dreamer Writes:

Dear SMYD,

I’ve been going to a dream group for almost a year now.  Everyone in the group has such detailed and interesting dreams, even complete stories!  But not me!  If I remember a dream, it’s usually just one picture, like a leaf or a hand.  So I’ve been kind of a problem for the group until now.  Finally, I had a ‘real’ dream!

I dreamed of being in a quarry.  All around me were beautiful stones.  Even though they were dirty, of course, I could see quartz, marble and granite.  I saw a stone bench top.  It looked ready to use – pre-cut and polished.  It had beautiful geodes in it that looked like knots in wood.  I offered it to the person with me saying, “You take it or I will.”

I saw a natural stone ‘stack’ marker like the ones people leave alongside hiking paths to show the way.  I saw jewelry made from stones including dangly earrings.  I said, “Maybe I’ll start wearing them.”

I found a cuff-style ring made of silver with a small red stone and put it on immediately.  I loved it.  It looked great on my left ring finger.  I wanted it, but it turned my finger green very fast.

This dream makes me feel great, but I’m not sure I ‘get’ all the details.  What do you think? 

Signed,

At last!  A Real Dream!

Dear Real Dream,

No need to be discouraged about single-image dreams like the leaf or hand that you mentioned.  Even the dream with only one static picture was chosen carefully by your Dreaming Self and has relevance for you.  But for now, we’ll stick with your ‘real dream.’

The concept of working a quarry is likely speaking to the exploration you’ve undertaken in your dreamwork efforts.  Searching under the surface connotes mining for something precious; and you’re finding plenty of subterranean gems!  In fact, you’re surrounded by beautiful and precious stones, even if some are still rough or covered with dirt.  This can be analogous to the work you’ve begun by paying attention to your dreams and using them for growth and enrichment.  With polish, the gems you find will offer rewards and encouragement as you become more successful. 

Just like on a hiking path, you find a stone marker showing the way.  You seem to be considering how to make the most of the objects you’re finding – the earrings – “maybe I’ll wear them.”  And the bench, “maybe I’ll take it.”

The cuff ring offers a cautionary note.  Don’t be too eager to marry something (you put it on your left ring ‘wedding’ finger) – like putting on handcuffs – that may turn out to be less valuable or worthy.  Investigate thoroughly first!

Dear Dreamer, by working patiently with your dreams, you have tapped into a rich and valuable mine stocked with gems of insights and nuggets of wisdom!  You’re on your way to exciting adventures of discovery and growth!

Congratulations and Sweet Dreams to You!

SMYD

sendmeyourdreams@mail.com

You're in the Big Leagues Now!

Our Dreamer Writes:

Dear SMYD,

I’m not a star athlete, or even a baseball player, but I’ve dreamed twice now about the famous ace pitcher for the San Francisco Giants, Tim Lincecum.  In the first dream, I’m walking into a big league ball park for a workout and Lincecum falls in beside me.  We toss a baseball back and forth between us, and then we start jogging along together.  Tim has a big smile on his face; it’s a sunny day, and I feel great to be there with him even though it’s so incredible I can hardly believe it’s true.  Some scouts on the sidelines seem to be impressed with me, probably because I’m there with Tim.

In the second dream I’m with Tim Lincecum again.  In this dream, I am in a gym or workout area and Timmy is there.  I was just a custodian, or other low-ranking employee.  He seems surprised to see me.  I think I interrupted his thoughts or his workout routine.  Though he’s startled at first, he engages me.  He seems to do this out of duty or obligation at first, but even though the relationship is odd or awkward, we soon start having fun with the workout.

Signed,

Star-Struck Baseball Fan

Dear Star-Struck,

You don’t mention what’s going on in your waking life, but your dreams offer some insights.  The suggestion in both cases is that somehow, you’re getting ready for the “big leagues” in your chosen endeavors.  You’ve been putting in the work as demonstrated when you find yourself entering into a big league stadium to work out on your own; then a major league player, one you hold in high esteem, falls into step with you, and tosses the ball with you as an equal.  He jogs with you, smiling and relaxed with you at his side.  He accepts your presence as natural and so should you!  The scouts are impressed by your appearance there, even if you still can’t quite believe it.  You are coming into the major leagues. 

Your second dream seems to reaffirm the notion.  While you may think of yourself as a low-ranking employee, not in the same league as those around you; the circumstances may feel surprising, odd, or awkward, but go ahead and get used to it.  You’re working out like a big leaguer, and you’re accepted into the realm of high performers! 

In your dreams, it felt great for you to be there, and after an initial phase of incredulity or awkwardness, you fit right in.  Your next step in your waking life is to get comfortable in your new surroundings and do what you’ve prepared yourself to do.  You may set aside your lack of confidence and consider yourself to be where you belong - in the big leagues.  Your dreams show that you have the work ethic, the skill, and the talent, just like star pitcher Tim Lincecum.  You deserve to play in that arena.

Congratulations!  You’ve earned the elevated status you’re about to enjoy!

Sweet Dreams to You, Dear Dreamer!

SMYD

sendmeyourdreams@mail.com       

Childhood Nightmare: Chased by a Lion!

Our Dreamer Writes:

Dear SMYD,

I recently came across your column and really liked your dream interpretations.  I have a recurring dream from childhood that I’ve always wondered about.

I had this dream over and over again as a child.  So much so that I was afraid to go to bed!  In it, I am alone on a heavily-jungled island being chased by a lion.  The lion is right behind me and I am running as fast as I can and I am terrified!  Just before he gets me I scramble up a palm tree to safety.  But suddenly I am naked and everyone I know is standing at the bottom of the tree and laughing at me.    

FYI - as a child I had a bully of a brother who tormented and humiliated me.

Signed,

Never Forgot

Dear Never Forgot,

Thank you so much for your kind words.  My goal is to be helpful, always.

Your childhood dream is a dramatic version of a type of recurring dream common to children:  being chased and threatened by a monster.  Children seem to know inherently that they are dependent upon those who are larger and stronger.  This in itself can hold an element of fear.  Being beholden to those who could harm you if they chose to doesn't lend itself to comfort!

World-renowned authority on sleep and dreaming Ernest Hartmann, M.D., puts it this way:

“…Every…child who is just developing the cognitive structure to realize…who’s safe and who’s unsafe or unpredictable, and to realize how relatively powerful all adults are, is bound to have some of this sense of vulnerability…Nightmares of being chased or attacked by monsters or strange animals are extremely common among the dreams of children.”

Your dream incorporates the added element of your daytime reality with a brutal brother!  So sorry you had to endure that! 

The fact that in your dream you are alone on an island intensifies your anxiety and sense of isolation.  Maybe in waking life you didn’t feel like you could tell your parents about your predicament for fear of their reaction.  Did they dismiss your nightmares or laugh at the images?  Your dream speaks to this by showing that even though you were able to escape to safety each time in the dream, all your fears and frailties are made known to others, exposed by your nakedness in the dream.  And they didn’t come to your assistance!  It just makes it doubly distressing and hurtful, doesn't it?  Children and adults prefer to suffer their insecurities in private.

What a powerful and fearsome set of images - still alive so many years later!  I'm sure you're glad to leave that dream behind! 

Such experiences are important to note for your own children now who may naturally experience similar fears.  Listen to the little ones, Dear Dreamer.  Their dreams are real to them.  Better to train them and rehearse with them how to deal with such fears, real or imagined. 

Do you remember your childhood nightmares?  Have you helped your own child after s/he had a scary dream?  I'd love to hear from you!

Sweet Dreams to You!

SMYD

sendmeyourdreams@mail.com

That Old Feeling Comes Up in Dreams

Our Dreamer Writes:

Dear SMYD,

I have been married 15 years and love my wife.  Rarely does a day go by where I don't realize how lucky I am.  However, while dating our relationship was very rocky and she dumped me three times!  

Here is my recurring dream which I have had repeatedly over the last 15 years:  In my dream my wife is leaving me.  I am devastated.  I am pleading with her to stay.  I yell, cry, beg, and cajole her, but it makes no difference.  Not only is she leaving but also she is completely apathetic to me!  Not even angry, she’s just matter of fact, packing and leaving.  In some versions of the dream she is leaving to another man who is ALWAYS younger and way cooler than me.

P. S.  My wife likes it when I have this dream because I wake up and am usually super good to her that day!

Signed,

Repeating in Benicia

Dear Repeating,

Your humor in relating your dream is refreshing.  No wonder you've had 15 happy years of marriage!

You have an opportunity to gain even more insight into your recurring dream if you're inclined to take a couple of steps to flesh it out.  Next time you wake up realizing you've had it again, make note of it.  Then, review the events of the last few days and make note of them too.  Repeat this when the dream recurs a second time.  It won't take more than two or three repetitions before you see the pattern of the dream's appearance.  These repeaters are almost always tied to certain circumstances or states of mind in our waking lives.

Chances are excellent that something in your waking life is triggering "that old feeling" of insecurity that you experienced before you and your wife made the commitment to be married. 

Now it may be as simple as that.  But don't rule out the possibility that something other than your relationship is the trigger for this dream.  Look around for anything in your waking life that prompts similar feelings of fear and desperation.  It could be something at work (a younger, cooler guy challenging you there), or in your neighborhood or extended family that pushes that button in you.  If so, the feelings are similar to those you felt "back in the day" and your dream acts as a metaphor for that.  Our dreams are particularly powerful in their ability to draw parallels between divergent situations and their attendant emotions.  Your dream may be showing you such similarities.

A question worth considering is whether the begging and pleading are what earned your ultimate success in winning your wife's hand.  Or, perhaps, as in your dream, those actions left her cold.  If that rings true, try to recall the shift in your thinking and behavior that made the difference back then, and apply them to your new situation now.

Sweet Dreams to You, Dear Dreamer!

SMYD

sendmeyourdreams@mail.com       

Big Old Car ~ Big Old Body

Our Dreamer Writes:

Dear SMYD,

I’ve been friends with “Jane” for many years.  We’ve been through a lot together and even think of each other as sisters.  We’ve been on a weight loss program for a while now.  Nothing fancy, just eat less, and move more.  We’ve had mixed results.  But lately, I’ve been more successful than Jane has, and I worry a little bit about leaving her behind.  We always try to help each other, but it’s starting to feel like she wants to give up.

I dreamed that Jane was driving my last car, an older Jeep Grand Cherokee.  The Jeep was big and bulky and not very pretty.  But it was a good car for me and I loved it.  In the dream Jane was young and attractive at the wheel.  Other drivers took note when she passed.

Jane had lost a lot of weight and dyed her hair back to its natural red.  She looked young again and terrific in a green dress that showed off her slender waistline.  I was extremely excited and happy for her.  I kept repeating every appreciative or encouraging thing I could think of.  But she didn’t believe me.  No matter how many times I said the right things, I couldn’t convince her that she looked good or that things were good for her now.  No one could see her while she was in that old car.

Signed,

Worried About Jane

Dear Worried,

Your dream most likely relates as much to your work at regaining a healthy, slender self as it does to your desire to help your friend.  You are working hard to lose weight.  One of your goals is to regain your beautiful slender waistline and silhouette.  You are beginning to realize your goals; and you’re pulling away from your friend as you become more successful.  This is not a comfortable feeling for either of you, and your dream reflects that discomfort.  No matter how many times you say the right things to her, or to yourself, you cannot convince yourself that things are good now. 

Your dream may be dealing with a part of yourself that is like your friend.  You both need to be encouraged and must believe in the process.  Your system is foolproof --- eat less, move more.  It will work.  If you stick to it, you will reach your goals whether she does or not.  Like Jane in the dream you must believe what you’re saying:  that you look good (or will); that you will be slender again. 

In your dream, a young attractive you/Jane is operating a bigger, heavier, older, less attractive vehicle.  In spite of the fact that she is/you are turning heads now, you just don’t believe it!  You/She only sees herself in the older, heavier body.  These are common pitfalls for folks in your position.  You must not let your doubts or your concern for Jane’s state of mind hold you back and weigh you down!

Sweet Dreams to You, Dear Dreamer!

SMYD

sendmeyourdreams@mail.com       

Put Your Dreams to Work!

Dearest Dreamers,

In her fascinating book, Writers Dreaming, Naomi Epel gives us windows into the dreams of some of our most famous and acclaimed authors.  From the range of writers who respond to her questions, it’s clear that creative folks “find ideas and inspiration in the intermingling of dreams and their working [lives.]” 

Ms. Epel, dream researcher and radio host, interviewed the likes of Elmore Leonard, Maya Angelou, and Amy Tan - 26 in all are presented in the book.  As she says, these well-known and successful writers “offer a behind-the-scenes look at the workings of the imagination…They discuss the dreams that have had a powerful effect on their work…revealing in the process their philosophies, habitual rituals and ways of solving creative problems.”

I’ll whet your appetite with a couple of examples:  In the chapter devoted to Maya Angelou, we find that she experiences a recurring dream when her work is going well.  She says, “There is a dream which I delight in and long for when I’m writing.  It means to me that the work is going well…Or that I’m telling the truth and telling it well.”  Ms. Angelou goes on to describe her dream as being of a “very tall building…in the process of being built…I’m climbing it with alacrity and joy and laughter!”  You can see the metaphor I’m sure, Dear Dreamers; the analogy between writing a book and constructing a building.  If you’re a writer, I’m sure you also recognize the sensation of pleasure and skill when something meaningful flows from your fingers!

In Writers Dreaming, Stephen King says, “One of the things that I’ve been able to use dreams for in my stories is to show things in a symbolic way that I wouldn’t want to come right out and say directly.  I’ve always used dreams the way you’d use mirrors to look at something  you couldn’t see head-on – the way you use a mirror to look at your hair in the back…dreams are a way that people’s minds illustrate the nature of their problems.  Or maybe even illustrate the answers to their problems in symbolic language.”

Wow!  There it is again – the practical use of dreams for problem solving and creative generation of solutions from some of the most successful and respected authors of our time.  It doesn’t take a giant leap of faith to know that productive and accomplished people across all endeavors can and do employ their dreams, tapping depths of creativity and insight to their work.

Why not you, Dear Dreamer?  I’m certain you have faced or are facing a challenge in your professional life.  Consider that your dreaming self can be helpful in giving you perspective on the problem.  As Stephen King says, a dream may offer an angle on the issue that you just cannot see without it!

If these talented and noteworthy artists rely on their dreams, we too can add them to our toolbox of methods for working resourcefully on the perplexing problems of our daily lives.

Sweet Dreams to You, Dear Dreamers!

SMYD

sendmeyourdreams@mail.com

Too Little or Too Much Dreaming

Our Dreamer Writes:

Dear SMYD,

I know I dream all the time, but I hardly ever remember my dreams.  I wake up knowing I’ve been dreaming, but can’t recall much of anything.  I can almost feel the dream slipping away as soon as I realize it was there to begin with.

Or, when I do remember a dream, it’s a long, convoluted saga!  I have the sensation that the dream went on and on, traveling from one weird scene to another.  These dreams even seem to cover long periods of time and have so many different characters in them!  Sometimes I recognize the people, but other times my dreams have strangers in them.

It seems impossible to believe that these dreams make any sense or would apply to my life in the real world.  I don’t know how or where to start!

Signed,

Baffled

Dear Baffled,

It’s clear you’re curious about your dreams!  That’s a great place to start even though you may feel at a loss for the moment.  You actually have quite a lot to work with.

First, you mention that though you don’t remember the pictures from your dreams, you wake up knowing you’ve been dreaming, even feeling the dream fade as you become more awake.  Research shows that in addition to their mental images and emotions, dreams create a muscle memory that begins to fade as we start to stir in the morning.  So, if you lie still just a few moments when you first wake up, you increase your chances of recalling a dream. 

And don’t dismiss the feeling of the dream!  If you have a sense of the emotions your dream carried, you have a toehold on the dream itself!

Perhaps the most important step in signaling your brain that you want to remember and learn about your dreams is to write them down.  Even the tiny bits that we’ve just discussed can be recorded in a bedside notepad.  Make a note that you woke feeling you’d had a dream, but it slipped away leaving only a feeling.  Name the feeling.  Was it exaltation?  Anger?  Relief? 

You mention those long involved dreams that seem complex and overwhelming.  Such dreams can feel a little like “War and Peace.”  Don’t try to decipher the entire epic!  Start with an image or two from the dream and write them down.  Record the briefest snippet from the saga.  You will be surprised what power even a static image can hold for you.

Start here:

¬  Lie still for a few moments when you first wake up.

¬  Make note of your dream’s emotions, even if you can’t remember its images.

¬  Record even a fragment of your dream to open the window into your dreaming life.

With these small steps in the direction of remembering and learning from your dreams, you will be rewarded with a rich and varied experience offering wonder and insights into the issues you face every day.

Sweet Dreams to You, Dear Dreamer!

SMYD

sendmeyourdreams@mail.com

Shocking Dream ~ Difficult Insights

Our Dreamer Writes:

Dear SMYD,

I’m confused and little bit worried about a couple of dreams I’ve had; and I’m hoping you can help me sort them out, even though I only remember a few details from each one.

I have enjoyed a long and happy career as a classroom teacher.  Working with young people is one of the greatest gifts I know.  It’s true what people say ~ they keep me young!  I love and respect my students.  So these dreams have me very upset!

In the first brief dream, I am at school and in the teachers’ lounge with another teacher whom I’ll call Pat.  Pat is an excellent teacher and fun to be around, though I sometimes think she tries too hard to look and feel “hip,” or “cool” with the kids.  We all want to stay young, but she goes too far.  Then, in my dream, she kisses a student, quite inappropriately.  Mouth open, she was practically sucking the life out of him!  I was startled and horrified to see this!

In the next fleeting snippet of a dream from a few nights later, I only remember one thing:  I am the one who kisses a student!  Just like Pat…way over the top!  It makes me cringe even to write this!  But there it is.

I can’t imagine why I’ve had such disturbing dreams!  I NEVER think thoughts like this at school or any other time!  The very idea has me feeling extremely anxious.  Please help me understand why this happened.

Signed,

Distraught in the Classroom

Dear Distraught,

Even though you’re only left with tiny fragments of what might have been full-blown dreams, those few pictures can tell a memorable story!

As you’ve no doubt heard me say:  Our dreams sometimes choose frightening images to shake us up and draw our attention to matters that we may be oblivious to, or denying, in our waking lives.  Also, one approach to dream images to is work with the idea that each person in the dream reflects a part of the dreamer. 

You have given us several key ideas about your life and your dream.  First are the statements that your students keep you young, and “we all want to stay young.”  Next you comment on Pat and her propensity to try too hard to stay young.  Finally you find your Dreaming Self mimicking Pat’s extreme, inappropriate behavior. 

Could it be that your Dreaming Self is pointing something out to you that you don’t see about yourself ~ that Pat reflects a part of you?  In waking life, are you thinking or acting more like Pat than you acknowledge?  It seems a logical conclusion since you preface the dream with a statement about your students keeping you young, and describe Pat as trying to suck the young life out of her student.  Could it be that you, too, are trying too hard in some way?

It’s hard to be objective about ourselves, Dear Dreamer.  Often our dreams offer up difficult images to startle us into a new self-awareness.

Sweet Dreams to You!

SMYD

sendmeyourdreams@mail.com