Dear SMYD,
I recently dreamed about Ann, a former friend. In the dream, she was young and her hair was long, shoulder length, not short like she keeps it now. We were having a fun conversation, mostly about how good she looked.
At the end of the conversation, she said, “Oh yeah, I’m still mad at you.” But she really wasn’t mad. She was smiling a shy smile indicating she had forgiven me. No hard feelings.
Ann and I had a major falling out a while back, and it’s unlikely that we will ever patch things up --- we both said some pretty mean things to each other. It was not a pleasant parting.
Signed,
Get HER Out of MY Dream!
Dear Get Her Out,
But she is in your dream, isn’t she?
One angle to consider is a simple, literal translation of your dream’s content: Time has passed. Ann has taken on her former appearance showing her pre-fight attitude toward you. She’s ready to forgive.
But usually, certain characters show up in our dreams to help us better understand ourselves. In your dream, Ann could represent certain aspects of you, yourself. You owned up to being equally culpable in the falling out.
Were you the person screaming about how rude she was? Could it be that the names you called her might also apply to you? If in your dream, she forgives you, maybe you can forgive her too.
When we’re most honest with ourselves, we have to acknowledge that most fights are two-way streets with both parties sharing the blame, and the responsibility for growth and reconciliation.
You’ve taken the first step, Dear Dreamer, now take a harder look and decide if the friendship can be salvaged.
Sweet Dreams!
SMYD
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