Do You Really Want to Unearth that Whale?

Our Dreamer Writes:

Dear SMYD,

Last night I had one of the most vivid dreams in a long time:

It was a day of celebration, where everyone took a boat to the beach and went water skiing.  I was waiting to go with my ex-boyfriend.  I saw a family with a shiny turquoise metallic boat.  The mother asked if we would like to join her.  I thought that we would have liked a boat of our own but all the other boats were taken.  

My ex showed up and by that time sun started to go down.  We got to the beach and I said to my ex that I didn’t want to go skiing because I was scared of the water at night.  He laughed and said it was ok.  We began to kiss in the water and as the waves crashed over us we were laughing because he now knew why I was scared.  

This part seems most important:  We get out of the water and head up to the beach where there is a big sand dune and many people on the beach with bright lights overlooking the beach.  We were told by someone that a giant whale has been buried and everyone needs to find it.  Everyone started to look at that dune, but we were looking out over the water thinking the whale was buried out there.  My best friend comes up to us and I wave to him with a big smile on my face and I realize I am naked.  My ex and I walk to another beach to find the whale.  After this I wake up.

Signed,

Finding a Whale with My Ex-Boyfriend

 

Dear Whale Finder,

Your dream could be about you and your ex-boyfriend, but just as likely, he serves as a metaphor for a state of mind or set of circumstances you may return to, even though it scares you.  Think about what kind of person he is, or how he lives his life.  Is that something that you find yourself drawn to?

You'd like to do things your way – have your own boat - but must accept someone else's system or rules if you go forward in the new direction.  You’re experiencing fear of the waves (of emotion) and also fear of the balancing act that the new/old relationship or circumstance will require.

Your search for the buried whale speaks to a possible desire to find a hidden life, or a hidden meaning in life.  It's significant that you choose to look in places other than those indicated by the dune (looks like a buried whale right in front of you!), by the people who tell you it's there to be dug up, and even your best friend's advice. 

Your nakedness may show that your best friend (your true self) sees through any facade you throw up to cover your thoughts/feelings/actions.  Now think, Dear Dreamer, are you looking far away for what’s right in front of you?

Sweet Dreams to You!

SMYD

sendmeyourdreams@mail.com

Call that Bully's Bluff!

Our Dreamer Writes:

Dear SMYD,

I’m not the kind of guy who looks for trouble.  In our family, my brother was the one who seemed to enjoy starting things – or finishing them!  So this dream seems strange to me.  The guy with the squirt gun kind of looks like my brother, but then, I’m the one with blonde hair, not him.  Anyway, here it is:

In my dream I was standing in line to go into a building.  Don’t recognize the building or know the occasion.  Ahead of me in line, close to the front, is a young man.  He’s tall, wearing a yellow shirt, and has crew cut hair.  Every so often, he turns around with a plastic squirt gun in his hand.  He points it at the forehead of a little blonde-haired boy who’s in front of me in the line.  Each time, the little boy is terrified.  He crumples into tears.  The big guy then tosses the gun away and turns back with a fake smile.  “See?  No one was really in danger!”  He keeps doing this, scaring the little boy every time.

Finally, when I see that he’s about to do it again, I step up and challenge him.  He shows me that the gun is plastic and filled with water.  Then he turns and tosses the gun away, this time without pointing it at the little boy.  The little boy hugs my knees and clings to me while I pat his head, comforting him.

What in the world is that all about?

Signed,

Playing the Tough Guy

 

Dear Tough Guy,

Your dream suggests a family dynamic is in play while you and your brother “wait in line” for something.  Most likely, you will be able to identify what it is that you’re waiting for ~ could it be greater status in your family hierarchy?  Look for a long-standing emotion-laden situation that you feel has held you back.

You mention that your brother is one who stirs things up.  In your dream, it seems he’s doing just that:  stirring up old emotions, fears and doubts you might have felt as a child.  Embodied in the little blonde haired boy who clings to you when you finally decide to stand up to the fake threat is the core of what’s keeping you in line now.  Also, consider the play on words:  Does someone seem to be bullying you to “keep you in line”?  What would happen if you broke ranks, spoke your mind, exposed the fake threat?

You don’t mention how you felt when you saw the threat for what is was - a bluff.  But when you take action in your dream, you become the hero and savior of that inner little boy.  Most times, standing up to a bully engenders feelings of release and empowerment.  Frequently others (like those in line with you) are hoping someone will step up.  Your dream suggests that you can be the one who does.

Sweet Dreams to You, Dear Dreamer!

SMYD

sendmeyourdreams@mail.com       

Are You Becoming a Zombie?

Our Dreamer Writes:

Dear SMYD,

Since the loss of my husband, I live alone and spend my evenings watching TV.  But I don’t watch indiscriminately.  There are plenty of good programs to choose from nowadays!  I’m a big fan of “Walking Dead,” but it’s not the only TV show I watch.  Then when I had this dream, I began to wonder if I should change my viewing habits!  Tell me what you think.

In the first part of the dream I learn that my friend “Ellie” has died.  Many of our women friends are upset and worried.  One of them, “Missy,” who’s just as smart, skilled and funny as Ellie says, “What will we do without her?”  This surprises me a little.  I didn’t know she was that well regarded.  I think it’s sad that she’s gone, but we are strong enough to manage without her.

Then, Ellie and I are sitting together and she’s not dead.  But she’s explaining to me the first symptoms she noticed before she became a zombie!  Her toenail popped off.  We look down at her feet and see it happen.  This worries me, because I had a toenail pop off too!

Next someone is telling me to use a whistle to change my voice.  “No one will know it’s you,” they say.  This bothers me too.  Why would I want to change my voice?  Why would I not want to be recognized?  I don’t feel totally afraid, just a little, but I don’t like any of this!  Then I wake up.

Signed,

Am I Becoming a Zombie?

 

Dear Zombie,

It would be easy enough to start these comments with an admonition about becoming a zombie in front on your TV set!  That caution could be worth considering:  Take an objective look at the time you spend with your electronic pal.  Have you slipped into a passive habit unintentionally?

But your dream includes two friends so I’m encouraged to believe that the TV isn’t your only outlet, or at least, it hasn’t always been.  You have been an active part of a group of lively and stimulating women.  Perhaps you’ve become less engaged with them for some reason.  Your dream suggests that a part of you is puzzled and worried at your level of disengagement.  Are you just going through the motions, somehow, like the walking dead?

Your dream also suggests that you are more highly regarded than you know.  If after your loss, you’ve removed yourself from the action, so to speak, the smart, funny, skilled part of yourself asks the question of your less active, more zombie-like self, “What will we do without her?”  On some level this is the question you’re asking yourself. 

You know it’s happening to you.  You recognize the symptoms as your own.  But why would you change your voice and go unrecognized?  Why become a zombie when you have a fun and engaging life calling to you?  You are strong enough to go on, Dear Dreamer!  You control the remote!  

Sweet Dreams to You!

SMYD

sendmeyourdreams@mail.com       

You Might be Eleanor Roosevelt!

Our Dreamer Writes:

Dear SMYD,

Here’s a weird one for you:  I dreamed that Eleanor Roosevelt was in the precarious and even comical position of trying to climb onto the top shelf of an étagère.  The shelves displayed ceramic figurines of Victorian men and women.  Each time Ms. Roosevelt would get to a top shelf and start to station herself there, the cabinet would wobble and tip.  She’d say, “oops!” and start her climb again.  When some of the figurines did fall and break, I began trying to glue them back together, matching heads and bodies as best I could.

Now, I’ve admired Eleanor Roosevelt for many years.  Her dignity in the face of difficult circumstances always impressed me.  She dealt with the public humiliation of her husband’s affairs with more grace than I could ever muster.  She kept her own private life quiet too.  But why in the world would I be dreaming of her?  And what about her ridiculous position in the dream?

Signed,

Friend of Eleanor

 

Dear Friend,

We almost always find that our dreams are talking to us about ourselves.  Yours is no exception.  For a first tip to this likelihood, consider how your narrative of your dream shifts from talking about Ms. Roosevelt, to how you are dealing with the scenario and the “fallout” of her actions.

While you don’t offer details of what’s going on in your waking life, your dream presents some possibilities about your state of mind.  It seems to suggest that you find yourself in precarious circumstances that you consider laughable (“comical”) on some level and even deserving ridicule, just as Ms. Roosevelt does in your dream.  As she is repeatedly trying to station herself among the Victorian figures, perhaps you also are attempting to fit yourself in among Victorian values, or a stiff and formal setting.  She kept up appearances for society’s sake.  Do you find that you also are presenting a front to the world that is out of sync with your private life or thoughts?

Each time she almost gets herself situated the show (the display case) tips and teeters, and sometimes, the Victorian image falls apart.  It’s you who tries to recreate the image by piecing together mismatched heads and bodies. 

That mismatch could also speak to a break between what a person thinks intellectually as opposed to what she knows intuitively.  Discounting gut feelings is a tricky business Dear Dreamer, and seldom offers peace of mind or security of station.

Does this dream mean your husband is having affairs, or that you’re secretly gay?  Probably not.  It’s just as likely that the dream illustrates a waking life drama with parallel story lines playing itself out in your daily situation. 

To get to a dream’s underlying theme, it can be helpful to restate it in general terms:  Someone is trying to get comfortable in a public display of outdated values.  When the façade is broken, someone tries to piece it back together.  Ring a bell?

Sweet Dreams to You, Dear Dreamer!

SMYD

sendmeyourdreams@mail.com       

Dreams Persist 'til You Progress

Dear Dreamers,

Working with our dreams can provide some of the most dazzling insights into our lives.  Presenting colorful and dramatic metaphors, power-packed with emotion, dreams are a key to personal growth.  With this in mind, let’s look at a couple of the most common types of dreams:  Recurring dreams and series of dreams.

Though sometimes the most confounding and frustrating, recurring dreams can be some of the easiest to tie directly to our waking lives.  It’s a pretty sure bet that if you’re having a recurring dream, that dream presents itself at the same time certain circumstances repeat in your “real” life. 

So, for example, if every six months you dream that you’re shackled to your desk and wearing washed out, faded clothes at work, it’s worth looking at your work calendar.  Do performance reviews come around every six months?  Are you frustrated and wondering why you keep getting passed over for promotion?  In dream language you might label that situation and its accompanying frustration being shackled to your desk!  Your washed out clothes could represent your faded status in the work place.

Noted dream researcher Jeremy Taylor says our dreams don’t tell us what we already know.  I agree, and I would add that in certain circumstances, our dreams may be calling to our attention something that we know, but don’t want to know.  We may know our work standards have been waning, but we make excuses.  We blame our boss, our competitors, the economy, or anything but ourselves for the shackles that hold us at the same old desk. 

Our dreams won’t make excuses for us.  Instead, they will more often point out with graphic certainty what we haven’t faced in our waking lives.

Whenever a recurring dream plays in your nighttime cinema, make a note of it.  Since you know this dream so well, you don’t have to write an essay about it; just jot down the date and something like, “Shackled to the desk again.  Faded clothes.  So frustrating!”  Be sure to include the emotions!

Now make some notes about your waking life.  This is key.  What’s going on at work?  What’s happening at home, with a project, with family or friends?  Any of these might be important because next time the dream recurs, you’re almost sure to see that one of these circumstances is recurring as well!  That’s what your dream’s talking about. 

Most dreamers can make these connections after only two or three recurrences and their accompanying notes.  Be sure, this dream will keep coming until you make changes!

Many of us produce series of dreams, just like a series of TV shows.  Over time, episodes play out around a similar theme.  If you have a series of dreams in which you’re in the role of teacher, for example, this is parallel to a situation you’ve settled into or are exploring, for the better or worse.  Such dreams can point out milestones, obstacles, progress or stagnation.

In every case, your dreams arrive bearing gifts of self-knowledge.

Sweet Dreams to You, Dear Dreamer!

sendmeyourdreams@mail.com

Gruesome But True

Our Dreamer Writes:

Dear SMYD,

I do love my cats, but I don’t think of myself as a “Crazy Cat Lady.”  Really!  I love the dogs, too!  I’m an animal lover, and the pets are part of our family.  But I suppose I would have to say that I feel more in harmony with the cats.  I understand cats and their behavior. 

Some people are put off by cats because they don’t understand them.  They can even be offended by a cat just being a cat.  Why get mad at nature?  So you can imagine why I was especially upset to have such a horrible dream as this one:

I dreamed that Missy, my sweet Maltese kitty, was cut completely in half.  It seemed like one last vein or one last section of her skin was all that connected the severed halves of her body.  It was stretched to the limit, almost to the point of snapping.  In spite of this, Missy pulled herself along with her front legs, acting as if everything was OK.  But I could see she would surely die.

Why in the world would I ever dream something so gruesome would happen to a cat that I love so much?  I would never hurt her!  What could this dream mean?  

Signed,

Crazy Cat Lady

 

Dear Cat Lady,

You are among the ranks of millions of people who love their pets dearly.  In addition, you are among the millions who sometimes have graphic dreams that are upsetting and frightening because they seem to come out of nowhere.  It seems such a dream can’t possibly speak for you or about you.  But of course, it does.

In fact, in your dream, you didn’t hurt your cat.  You found her already injured.  She was hurt in a very specific way.  Her upper body was almost completely separated from her lower body.  You could say that her head was detached from her heart, or her guts. 

Sorry to be so explicit, but your dream pulls no punches.  It says rather bluntly that you, Dear Dreamer, are the one who’s disconnected from her gut feelings.  You are dragging yourself along acting as though everything’s OK.  This charade disregards the obvious fact that you cannot go on this way.  Your dream shows that without question you’re “stretched to the limit, to the point of snapping.” 

On some level you know that if you continue, you will surely die.  I wouldn’t take that as a literal, physical death, Dear Dreamer.  But your dream suggests that somewhere in your waking life, you are ignoring what you know in your gut to be true – you’re pretending that life can go on as it is.

Look around yourself, Dear Dreamer.  Does someone seem put off by you because s/he doesn’t understand your nature?  Only by denying the truth, your own gut feelings, can you continue in a relationship that rejects you for being yourself.  Not a healthy way to live!

Sweet Dreams to You, Dear Dreamer!

SMYD

Dreams don't tell white lies

Our Dreamer Writes:

Dear SMYD,

I can’t imagine why I would dream of a girl I knew so long ago.  I’ll call her Carla.  And back when I knew her in junior high school, I didn’t like her that much.  She hung around on the edge of my circle of friends.  She was so insecure that she was annoying, always looking for approval.  I haven’t thought of her in years!

But in my dream I’m talking to Carla in the present.  I notice that she is wearing a wedding ring set exactly like mine.  Mine seems to be newer and shinier than hers is, but otherwise, they’re identical.  We comment on the coincidence, and then she takes out a picture of her husband.  They’re newlyweds and Carla seems very proud and happy.  The photo is of a man with long wavy dark hair parted in the middle.  He has a ‘wandering’ eye that looks off to one side.  One leg of his jeans is cut away to reveal an unhealthy leg; it’s thin, pale and weak looking.  I think I knew this guy at my old job!  He was an oddball and very self-conscious of his appearance.  I’m surprised by the way he looks; but to be polite I tell her he was a nice guy.

How weird!  I never really knew anyone like the guy in her picture.  Why would Carla show up after all this time?  And why would I have someone like her husband in my dream?

Signed,

Back in Junior High School

Dear Junior High,

Appearances play a large role in your dream just as they do for adolescents in junior high school.  Your dream infers this superficial approach to things may be in play in your waking life. 

For example, you say your rings look better than Carla’s do, but in fact the rings are identical.  Her husband’s appearance is surprising and even unpleasant to you, but you put a nice face on your feelings instead of sharing your true thoughts with her. 

What is it in your waking life that parallels this, Dear Dreamer?  Your dream implies that you may be turning away from something disagreeable; telling yourself on the surface it’s really OK to avoid acknowledging the facts at hand. 

I can’t help wondering if you also are a newlywed.  Or perhaps you’re in a brand new relationship of some kind that has you feeling unsure of yourself, maybe even annoyingly so, like your old ‘friend’ Carla.  Have you recently committed to a circumstance that you’re now second-guessing?  Your dream suggests this with the appearance of Carla and your identical rings. 

You tell Carla the white lie that her husband was a nice guy when you actually think of him in an unflattering way – as an unappealing ‘oddball.’  Your dream suggests that you may be lying to yourself in the same way.  Tell yourself the truth, Dear Dreamer!  Ignoring the facts before you can only delay the inevitable.

Sweet Dreams to You, Dear Dreamer!

SMYD

sendmeyourdreams@mail.com