Our dreams frequently tap into our stores of memories, employing the images of people and places we have known to help us navigate uncertain circumstances in our current lives. An old high school acquaintance is a good example from today’s dream:
Dear SMYD,
I am back in the dating scene again after many
years. I even signed up with an online
dating service. I created a true but
flattering profile and began to get responses right away.
Then I dreamed that I was laughing and kind of awkwardly
flirting with “Jim,” a man I met on the dating service who is several years
younger than I am. We were walking along
and holding hands tight, but it was uncomfortable. Then we saw an announcement for a high school
reunion for the class of 1988. I scoffed
at how old those people were before I realized that it was my class! I graduated in 1988!
Just then, a guy I knew in high school,
“Bill,” raced up next to us in a fast car and screeched to a stop. He wanted me to leave Jim and get in the car
with him, and I was torn between the two.
His car stalled and he couldn’t go anywhere. And when I turned to look, Jim was gone
too! I was flustered and unhappy at
being left alone.
By the way, “Bill” is someone I actually knew in
high school. I thought he was cute, but
he scared me a little. He asked me out a
couple of times, but even though I was attracted to him, I thought he was too
wild for me.
Signed,
Teenager Again
Dear Teenager,
Your dream has taken you down memory lane to a time
when you were first in the dating scene.
But it reflects your current situation in a couple of ways: First, you mention that you created a “true
but flattering” profile of yourself on the dating service. The profile drew responses, perhaps of
younger men who no doubt think you are younger too. In your dream, Jim is several years younger
than you are. When you and Jim hold
hands, it’s forced, “tight,” and uncomfortable.
The suggestion is that you may be trying too hard, holding on too tight,
to a younger, more flattering version of yourself.
It’s no accident that your dream selected Bill to
draw your attention to feelings you had back then: Running with the young and reckless can be
dangerous and frightening! Your
instincts steered you clear back then, and are doing the same now.
Finally, when Bill appears in a fast car, trying to
lure you away, he stalls out and cannot go anywhere. This is another metaphor for the mindset of
being stuck in the past. When choosing
between these options you are left in the lurch, Dear Dreamer, frustrated and
unhappy at being alone.
It’s better to approach dating as your “new” grown
up self than to try so hard to be young again.
Sweet Dreams to You!
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