Dreamer worries about losing her head at work

Anne Boleyn lost her head, perhaps because she failed to understand the politics in Henry VIII's castle.  But today's dreamer has a good role model to help her avoid the pitfalls  at work.

Today’s dreamer has taken big steps toward putting her dream into the context of her waking life events.  We can readily see how her dream offers insights into her new job and the office politics she fears.

Dear Carolyn,

I had a dream about navigating customs at a Turkish airport.  A manager from my real-life office, a woman of Middle Eastern ancestry, helped me through customs in my dream world.  There was a bathroom at the airport with make-up bottles that women had thrown away because they knew they could not take liquid make-up through customs.  There was a maze-like hallway in the dream with switchbacks and dead ends.  The bathroom was at the end of one of these turnaround points.

 In real life, this particular woman from the dream seems to be one of the up and comers, one of the insiders in my new office situation where a surprising number of seemingly good individuals (in my judgment) have been re-assigned, demoted, or have resigned recently.  Could it be that things are not always what they seem on the surface, whether it is a woman painted with make-up or a people engaged in office politics?  Will it help to stop wearing make up to work?  Or, could it be that make-up is a metaphor for wearing a game face or not wearing make-up could be a metaphor for being my authentic self?  Just curious.  In real life, I realize there will always be office politics, but it always makes me shiver a bit when the axe falls and heads roll.  Now I know how Anne Boleyn must have felt.  Please don't use my real name in your column.  I would hate to lose my head by someone else's hand!  I have enough trouble keeping it on my shoulders.  

Signed,

The Queen’s Sister

Dear Sister,

You have many good leads to follow in your dream and your insights are right on track. 

You mention that you are in a new job and the manager who guides you in your dream is helping you “navigate customs.”  Consider it a play on words.  Rather than the literal meaning of passing through airport customs, you have to learn the norms and conventions – the customs – of your new workplace.  Happily, you have a guide or role model who is an “up and comer, an office insider” who knows the pitfalls of the terrain.  Follow her example.

You don’t have to stop wearing your make-up to work!  Rather, your dream suggests that you should be yourself, and you can do that with your make-up on as usual.  True, we all have game faces, or work faces that differ from our casual faces.  We adjust our manners and mannerisms to the various situations in which we operate during the course of a day.   

Be yourself, work diligently and you will fare well in your new environment – so long as you don’t dally with the King!

Sweet Dreams to You!

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Dreamer test drives a re-marriage

Dreams of driving a car are often dreams about how we move along the roads of life.  How the car handles the curves may speak to how the driver manages the challenges of daily life.  Today’s dreamer has a test drive of a car she used to own as she considers going back to a life she used to live.

Dear SMYD,

My husband “Ray” and I split up about a year and a half ago.  It was about as amiable as a divorce can be, especially since I broke his heart.  Maybe it was amiable because I broke his heart!  I think he wanted to keep everything friendly and easy so it wouldn’t spoil the chances of our getting back together.  He told me he has always held out hope of that.

We have been talking lately and going for coffee, things like that, all very public, nothing serious or intimate in any way.  I can tell he still wants us to remarry.  I’m not sure how I feel about it.

Now here’s my dream:  I bought a new car, but it was my old car, the one I drove when Ray and I were married.  It was waiting for me in a parking lot.  When I got in it, it was cramped and seemed a lot smaller than I remembered it.  But I adjusted the seat and was comfortable enough. 

I drove it fast over dirt roads and muddy roads.  I skimmed over ruts and potholes, slippery spots and puddles.  The car became a go-cart and I was grumpy about it because there wasn’t much to it.  I was annoyed that I might be splashed by one of the puddles, but the water splashed away from me.  In the end,  I was surprised and pleased that the little car made it through everything, handled so well, and was comfortable overall.

Signed,

Car Shopping

Dear Car Shopping,

As you describe him, it seems that Ray has been in a holding pattern since your split, hoping to get back with you.  You might say he was in a parking lot, like the car in your dream.  It is the car you drove when you were together.  And now, as you are giving Ray a second look, your dream represents this as taking that car, Ray, for a test drive! 

The car is different from the way you remember it, just as a second marriage might be different.  For one thing, it seems cramped at first.  But when you make an adjustment, you are comfortable.  Maybe the first time around you were unnecessarily grumpy because you expected more than you truly needed.  Perhaps you were the pessimist, expecting to be splashed before you saw which way the water would fly.

Keep in mind Dear Dreamer – you would need to adjust yourself to make things work with Ray.  If you do that, you could travel many a road nimbly and in pleasant and surprising contentment.

Sweet Dreams to You!

SMYD

sendmeyourdreams@yahoo.com

How to heal a broken heart

Whenever we dream of our money, our valuables or the places we store them, that dream is not necessarily speaking about actual cash or jewelry, but something intangible we hold dear.  Then the setting or the outcome of the dream is most relevant.  What happens to your “stuff” and how you feel about it are keys to understanding your dream’s message.  Today’s dream shows the dreamer’s loss of everything out of her wallet, almost.

Dear SMYD,

My parents say that someone my age cannot experience true love.  Teenagers are too young to know the meaning of the word, so my mom says.  I know she is trying to help me get over being dumped by my boyfriend, but it doesn't help.  I am in pain, real pain!  Even my best friend just says to go out with other guys as a remedy.  I tried it with a really cute guy and broke out crying in the middle of the date!  “Just get over it!” is not working.  I am so sad every day and I don’t know what to do.

Now I have had this weird dream and it really bothered me.  Please tell me what you think it means:  Someone stole everything out of my wallet – my paycheck and my first credit card, everything!  I was so upset I cried and cried.  I was sobbing my eyes out until I suddenly realized that I still had my ID and pictures of my mom and dad and my brother.  For some reason then I knew that everything was going to be OK. 

Signed,

Broken Hearted

Dear Broken Hearted,

While it is not the same as a more mature, “eyes wide open” love, young love is real, and first love is most poignant.  A broken heart is painful no matter how old you are!

Many of us, young and older, put so much value into our relationship with a significant other that we lose a bit of who we are without that person.  We surrender too much of ourselves and think our lives have meaning only in relation to the other person.  This may be what your parents are trying to guard against.  They know that the best relationships most often come when two fully-formed, independent people decide to join forces.

Your dream suggests that you gave up a lot of yourself to be with the guy who dumped you.  When he left, he “stole” your most valued possession, your self-esteem.  At first, through your sobbing and grief, you thought you had lost your very identity.  But no, Dear Dreamer!  Your dream reveals that you still have your ID and your family, those who truly love and support you.

You have heard that time heals all wounds.  It truly does.  So while it seems impossible to you now, it is certain that you will emerge a stronger person and better partner in your next go-round.  As for the young man who hurt you, remember also that Time wounds all Heels.

Sweet Dreams to You!

Dreamer to Dream: Is he the right man?

Idyllic scenes in our dreams may be pointing out what is right in front of us.  At times these dreams can be taken at face value.  But if the emotions felt in the dream do not jibe with the scene, the dream’s message is entirely different.

Dear SMYD,

My friends are advising me to stick with “Bob.”  Bob is a nice man, much better than some of the lay-abouts I have dated in the past.  I even married one of them!  It was so hard to get out of that situation that I have been very leery of relationships since then.  I just listen to my gut and most often it says “run!”

Bob does seem like a good guy, and my friends tell me I have become too picky.  If I am too cautious, they say I will wind up alone.  No one is perfect, of course, but Bob’s little quirks are starting to bug me.  He is almost too good and I feel like he is trying to hold on to me too tight.  The idea of settling because Bob is well off does not appeal to me.

In my dream I saw a contented cow, like the ones from the old milk commercials.  She was black and white and grazing in a beautiful green field.  She was actually smiling and humming and swaying as if to show just how content she was.

Then, I saw her in her grave.  It sounds weird, but she was still content.  Her headstone was a large bag of money! 

Is this dream about Bob and me?

Signed,

A Contented Cow

Dear Contented,

Yes, your dream seems to speak to your ideas about life with Bob.

You do not mention your feelings or any emotion you felt during your dream.  Those could be keys to understanding the implications of the dream for you.

Given the background you offered, a couple of possibilities emerge:  First, you find yourself at a point of decision in your waking life – should you ‘settle’ for a good man who does not seem to thrill you?

 

With this question in mind, your dream may be showing you the tranquility and security of a contented life.  Like the happy, healthy cow, you could smile and hum and rock along through life, encountering little, if any, discord.  You could go that way right on into your grave.  No worries!

If that felt good in your dream, go for it Dear Dreamer!  All the pieces are in place for a secure future.  If you decide to run again, take off with your eyes open!  Know what you are leaving behind.

But if, while you observed this scene and its outcome, you felt distressed, or unhappy, or cheated, then you should think again before continuing with Bob.  In spite of your friends’ advice, sometimes even a good man is not the right man.  And sometimes a cow, even a cash cow, is not the animal we would choose to be.

Sweet Dreams to You!

SMYD