Dream provides 'mop up' of past experiences

Our Dreamer Writes:

Dear SMYD,

First, a little background will help:  My kids’ dad and I have been divorced since 1995.  I don't have any feelings for him one way or the other.  We still see each other at family functions, but that’s it.  I’m moving on in my life and don’t want to repeat the past, but I do want to learn from it.

I dreamed my ex, my kids and I were in a rented house that we no longer live in.  We are cleaning and fixing it up because we moved out.  I am trying to fix a broken window on the other side of a perfect window.  (From the inside the window looks fine.  But when I look out through it, I see another window and it is broken.)  I think I need to go onto the roof to find the broken window, which I do but I can't seem to find it.  

Then we are sitting in the living room with doors open and an owl is coming towards us.  I say something like, “Watch out for the owl!”  The next thing I know the owl is sitting on my finger looking at me.  I can feel its feet and the weight of the bird.  I am so excited!  I am telling my ex-husband, “Quick take a picture!”  End of dream.

What does this dream mean?

Signed,

Cleaning Up the Old House

 

Dear Housecleaner,

Your dream about the broken window in the rented house seems to be one in which you're reflecting on past times and past relationships represented as the cleaning and fixing up of the (temporary - rental) house (relationship) where you lived in your past marriage.  Such actions are indicative of a transitional point in your waking life when you wrap up loose ends before moving on to a new phase in your life. 

You appear to be bothered by an imperfection, a shattered view (the broken window) of those times and those situations, and determined to make it right.  Perhaps in waking life you hash over some things that you would do differently if you had the chance.  But it’s important to note that the shattered view, the perceived flaw or problem, is visible only to you from the inside, and is therefore likely to be “in your head,” your interpretation alone.  When you go outside onto the roof to a more objective perspective, you cannot find the flaw (the broken window).

Then, if we accept the owl in the traditional mythology, as a symbol of wisdom, that wisdom comes and settles in on you when you recognize that there is nothing you need to worry over or correct from the past.  Your “mop up” dream of those days offers a positive learning experience:  All is well settled, Dear Dreamer.  You can move on in good conscience.  It feels great when you recognize that you’re on your way and call out to take a picture - "Look at me now!"

Sweet Dreams to You!

SMYD

Faking Injury Backfires for this Dreamer

Our Dreamer Writes:

Dear SMYD,

Two kids, a husband and invalid mother-in-law is more than one person should have to manage on her own!  Truthfully, I don’t have more to do than I can do.  Some days I actually feel like I’m a Superwoman.  But it bugs me that my family takes advantage.  They act like they don’t even see what’s going on.  I’m the only one who ever does anything around here!  That’s how I was feeling before this dream:

First, I was chasing a bunch of ferrets.  They were running every direction and I felt ridiculous.  Every time I got them rounded up, they were out again and I had to start all over. 

Then, I was behind the wheel of the car and I just slammed on the brakes.  When I did, the door flew open.  I fell out of the car onto the ground.  I wasn’t hurt, but I laid there and kind of pretended I was.  I kept peeking out of one eye to see if anyone would notice or come over to check on me.  Sure enough, my husband and some other people came and stood over me, looking down at me, but saying and doing nothing.  My kids were there too, just looking at me.  And my friend Kim, the smartest, strongest, most self-sufficient of my friends was there.  But she also just stood there looking at me and said, “Are you going to get up from there or what?”

What does it take to get some help around here?!

Signed,

Tired of Doing It All

 

Dear Tired One,

A key to your dream comes in the form of your pretense.  No one can argue that you are in a difficult situation with many people depending on you.  It may be a lot to manage, but by your own accounting it’s not too much for you.  You seem proud of what you accomplish, even calling yourself Superwoman.  Yet you pretend to be in distress.  Why?

In your dream you successfully corral the ferrets (manage the lively and diverse tasks at hand) and repeat the process each day.  But when you put on the brakes and fall to the ground, you seem to be looking for attention, or maybe credit or accolades for all you’re doing.  Have you asked anyone for help, or should they be reading your mind?

Kim, that strong, self-sufficient part of yourself is unimpressed with your display.  She reminds you that crying ‘wolf’ doesn’t fool anyone.  You can handle the jobs you’ve taken on. 

If you’re truly feeling burdened or resentful that no one appreciates you or steps up to offer assistance, putting on a false show of distress does not bring the response you’re looking for.  Be real.  The best way to get what you need is to ask for it!  Your husband most certainly could help with his mother.  Your kids may be able to contribute as well, depending on their ages.  Speak up for yourself, Dear Dreamer!

Sweet Dreams to You!

SMYD

My Grandma scared me!

Our Dreamer Writes:

Dear SMYD,

My maternal grandmother died a few years ago; I was close to her.  My husband was always a favorite with my grandmother.  He made her laugh as he's quite the extrovert, as was she.  She was a very social person.  My husband is too and she loved him for it.

I had a vivid dream of my grandmother visiting me.  In the dream my husband walked in through the door that leads from our back yard to the family room and showed her through the door.  She was smiling.  He had a smile on his face and I'm sure he said, “Look who's here!”  When I saw her, I was in shock - I knew in my dream she was dead, so I was scared.  Then she fell over backwards and died!!  As soon as she fell over backwards, dead again, I woke up in a frightened state.  I was in shock at seeing her and breathing as though in a panic attack!  

The reason I'm trying to find answers to this dream is that it was so real.  She came in smiling and then fell over backwards and died.  In my dream, I knew she had died years ago, but I woke up as if I'd had a nightmare.

I'm really scared about the meaning of this dream - can you please help interpret this??

Signed,

My Grandmother Scared Me

 

Dear Scared,

Many dreamers report visits from beloved relatives who have passed on.  Frequently, these dreams have a powerful essence of reality, like yours.  Some say that in dream state, we are able to communicate with spirits on many planes.  And of course, your dream can also be understood by looking at the key players and how their traits and actions relate to you.

It seems unlikely that your grandmother would deliberately scare you in your waking life or in your dreams.  After all, as you said, you had a close relationship.

More likely, your dream is drawing your attention to the quality that is trying to come in from your background (through the back door).  It’s the characteristic that your grandmother and your husband share – that outgoing, social attribute that perhaps you shy away from.  Maybe there’s an opportunity in your waking life that calls upon you to be more like your grandmother, to be more outgoing and social, to show your sense of humor.  Your grandmother and husband encourage you to blossom in this way.

Your fear of her in your dream most likely showed your fear of taking on her (and your husband’s) easy social manner.  You are being asked to welcome this trait into your living space.  When she died again, your greater fear was evident:  What will happen if you don’t come out of your shell, Dear Dreamer?  It would be a step backward reflected by your grandmother’s backward fall. 

Can you imagine what your grandmother’s advice to you would be?  Follow it!

Sweet Dreams to You!

SMYD

Am I dreaming right now?

Our Dreamer Writes:

Dear SMYD,

In my waking life I'm fine with my achievements.  I’m not lacking in self-confidence, and gosh darn it, I like myself.

Then, just a few days into my new job, I had a dream in which a large white owl outlined the highlights of my past on a huge blackboard.  The chalkboard had an elaborate diagram drawn or, perhaps, painted with thick white chalk.  It had the painterly quality of Vincent van Gogh's "Starry Night."  (I've loved that image for decades.)

The owl pointed out that although I've held many jobs in a number of fields, my tenure in these various positions typically short.  He presented a case that I was a job hopper at best and a fraud at worst.  Yes, he seemed to say, you've done so many things, but where is the depth?

The image of the owl in the dream was very, very much like a cartoon figure who was telling me exactly what was what, the way an old-fashioned teacher would give a lecture.  

There was a lucid quality inasmuch I felt frustrated during the dream because I pride myself on my achievements and do not wish to lack confidence.

How can I change my dreams into scenes where I relax and enjoy my new job? 

Signed,

Frustrated with My Dreams

 

Dear Frustrated,

It seems you’re working on your self-confidence and appreciation of your own accomplishments.  This is suggested in two ways:  First, you begin by stating that you’re “not lacking in self-confidence,” but conclude with a declaration that you “do not wish to lack confidence.” 

In addition, the owl, the cartoon of an old-fashioned teacher, the kind who lacks credibility in modern classrooms, lectures you about your shortcomings while referring to a diagram of your life’s work that looks like a masterpiece!  Perhaps this dichotomy reflects an internal dialogue in which, on occasion, you must persuade yourself of the value of the path you’ve taken.

You mention feeling lucid in your dream – having the experience of knowing you’re dreaming while in your dream.  This can be most helpful in achieving the goal of changing your dreams into more relaxing scenes that bring enjoyment of your waking life.  Once lucid, a dreamer can interact with the elements of a dream and even influence the events.  These are powerful tools! 

Cultivation of lucid dreaming takes practice but as an experienced dreamer you can begin with a Reality Check:  Randomly throughout your day, ask yourself: “Am I dreaming right now?”  Don’t ask by rote, knowing the answer is ‘no.’ Pay attention to how you know.  Soon the distinction will spill into your dreaming experience.  The answer will then be ‘yes,’ and you’re on your way to creating a dream experience that supports your waking goals!

For details on how to proceed, read Lucid Dreaming: A Concise Guide to Awakening in Dreams and In Your Life by Stephen LaBerge, a pioneer in the field. 

Sweet Dreams to You, Dear Dreamer!