Thursday, April 25, 2013

Handwriting on the dreamer's wall


Our dreams often help us understand changes in ourselves and even suggest new courses of action.  Consider today’s dream which uses handwriting as the metaphor for the change:

Dear SMYD,

I dreamed I was assigned the task of relieving a manager until her replacement could get to work.  The manager leaving the job was a fairly young woman.  She was attractive, creative and confident.  I saw some of the things she’d made – purses and tote bags.  They were colorful and well made. 

In my role as intermediary, I signed checks and other important documents for her, as well as some correspondence.  I noticed that as I was signing these things, my signature/my handwriting changed from its original, right-leaning, uniformly flowing appearance to more upright letters and even left leaning ones.  In addition, it looked irregular.  The letters were different sizes and leaned different ways, all in the same word.  This bothered me, so I would correct it, forcing my writing to look better, like it did at first.  But almost immediately, it would shift back to irregular letter sizes and upright or left-leaning letters all jumbled together. 

Then, the replacement manager came through the office.  She was angry and unhappy and went directly to her new office and shut herself in.  She believes or knows she is hated in her new role.

At the end, I am explaining to the outgoing manager that she is loved, no, adored by everyone.  She has nothing to feel upset or unhappy about.  I tell her it’s her boss’s fault she has to go, since he didn’t properly prepare her for the job.  Then I tell the same to the new guy.

Signed,

Don’t Recognize My Own Writing

 

Dear Writing,

Handwriting analysts tell us that our written words on the page can reflect aspects of our personalities.  Your dream has taken this concept to illustrate changes in you.

Since your dream is set at work, we can extrapolate that the changes noted may have come about through your experiences on the job.  You don’t give specifics about this workplace, but we can speculate that you’ve been managing in a demanding and stressful job, just the kind that can take a toll on even the most dedicated employee.  The colorful young woman, adored by all may represent how you felt about yourself upon accepting the job.  But that person has been replaced. 

Somewhere in the interim, shown by your role as the intermediary, you observe yourself change from the forward leaning, confident, smoothly flowing manager, sure of herself and her place among her charges.  Just as your handwriting changed to uneven and unpredictable, perhaps you too have changed into the angry and unhappy person who locks herself in her office, certain she’s hated.  Trying to return to your old self, by forcing the old handwriting, does little to cover your changed state of mind.

It’s convenient to blame the boss, Dear Dreamer, and maybe he’s partly responsible.  But you must take care of yourself.  The handwriting is on the wall! 

Sweet Dreams to You!

SMYD

Wednesday, April 17, 2013

Dream reveals invisible hazards


Our dreams sometimes employ images from our childhood or past surroundings to evoke a frame of mind relevant to today’s circumstances.  Consider this example:

Dear SMYD,

I dreamed I was competing with a man at work.  (I’m brand new in my profession and he has 19 years’ experience.)  Nevertheless, I really want to beat him at a game we’re playing, maybe because at work, he’s one of those people who has to be right all the time!  In the game, we’re supposed to find and tag items that are camouflaged in a picture, kind of like the old hidden picture puzzles.  He’s much faster and more skilled than I am at spotting and tagging the items, but I’m gaining on him.  That’s it!

This dream reminds me of a picture that used to hang in my grandmother’s house.  I think it was called The Bewildered Hunter.  In it, a hunter and his dog stand near a cave in a wooded scene.  That’s all you see unless you take a closer look.  Then you can see a deer, a bear, a pheasant and other game blending into the scenery while the hunter and his dog stand there oblivious.  This has me wondering why I’d be thinking of my grandmother’s furnishings now.  She died when I was 8 years old and I haven’t seen that picture since then.

Signed,

Bewildered Dreamer

 

Dear Bewildered,

Our dreams rely on the powerful teaching tool of metaphor to explain complex circumstances and emotions to us.  The creative juxtaposition of familiar objects and scenes with new or novel ones offers the unique and provocative stuff of dreams.

To this end, our dreaming selves seem to maintain extensive catalogs of images and situations which we’ve encountered, observed, or even heard about second hand over the decades of our lives.  Just the right memory is plucked from the past and placed in the present to evoke an insightful response.

Your dream has chosen the image from your grandmother’s house perhaps to prompt the frame of mind that gripped you when you studied it as a child, delighted and engaged by its playful deception.

Does that apply to you and your new profession?  Your dream suggests that you earnestly want to succeed, of course, and to compete with a peer who’s experienced and perhaps a bit arrogant.  It also suggests that there may be more going on around you than you’re able to discern.  As a rookie on the job, you can’t expect to know and understand everything.  Experience will sharpen your eye and your instincts.  

The approach of a child who wants to learn and grow can be most beneficial in a new and challenging workplace.  But exercise caution also, Dear Dreamer.  If your new peer and competitor really insists on being right, he may be more deceptive than you realize.  Some of the things obscured from your view could work against you!  Don’t get so caught up in the competition that you lose sight of your surroundings and greater goals. 

Sweet Dreams to You!

Friday, April 12, 2013

Flaky dream points to important thoughts


Sometimes our dreams shock us into awareness of something we would rather not face.  Today’s dream offers an excellent example of what happens when we ignore our nagging thoughts:

Dear SMYD,

My husband and I are practically newlyweds, only married 14 months.  But I’ve already noticed a lag in our romantic life!  I expected that things would change as we got older, but we’ve slowed down a lot, and much sooner than I thought we would.  There seems to be that sexual tension between us, but we don’t act on it, maybe because we both work hard and are just plain tired.  I love him completely and would never do anything to harm our marriage, and so it really bothers me when I realize that I’m having “stray” thoughts at work when an attractive man comes in the room!

Now I’ve had this dream:  All through the dream I have big flakes of dandruff itching on my scalp and coming loose, falling all around.  I don’t want them to show, but they do, so I have to keep brushing them off.  While this is happening, I find myself in bed with a very young guy!  Completely inappropriate as far as I’m concerned!  Then, I was in a different setting and I was attracted to a woman!  I am totally straight, but in the dream, it looked like something might happen between this woman and me!

OMG!  What do you suppose all this means?

Signed,

Shocked by My Own Behavior

 

Dear Shocked,

Frequently, dreams of our heads, our hair, or perhaps even our scalp, will point to changes in our thoughts, or our patterns of thinking that call for attention.  Your dream has you constantly brushing away the evidence of pesky, unwanted thoughts.  No matter how many times you brush the flakes away, they return as a reminder of your underlying state of mind.

In your dream your attraction to a younger man might be reflective of your desire for a younger, more vibrant love life – with your husband!  You say quite plainly that he’s the man of your dreams, but the two of you are behaving like a much older couple.  And your attraction to a woman in your dream, something you designate adamantly as forbidden, again speaks to that part of your mind that wanders, fantasizing about the excitement of a sexual encounter instead of the unresolved tension in your marriage. 

Just like brushing away the flakes does not treat the dandruff, pushing aside the changein your intimate relationship with your husband will not help thesituation.  You’ve got to have ‘the talk,’ Dear Dreamer.   Otherwise, the problem simply persists and your uncomfortable thoughts will continue to trouble you, at the very least!  Your relationship is founded on commitment and love, so who better to talk to than the man in question?  Chances are excellent that he will be relieved when you open the conversation.  Or of course, you could follow the advice in that ad and “Just do it!”

Sweet Dreams to You!

Wednesday, April 3, 2013

Cross the threshold to your new life!


Our Dreamer Writes:

Dear SMYD,

I’ve been widowed a number of years now.  I had a wonderful marriage and I’ve missed my husband so much.  At the same time, I’ve continued an active and stimulating life alone.  Recently, for the first time, I found myself very attracted to a ruggedly handsome man I met in professional setting.  Then I had this dream!

I don’t remember all the details, but here goes: I was in an office with a young woman.  I can't describe her.  I just get the feeling she was younger than me and we needed to go somewhere.  A man (can't describe him either!) offered to give us a ride in a Jeep.

We drove a very short distance and came to a very wide creek.  There was frozen ice on top of the creek, and there was snow on top of the ice.  I was apprehensive and said that we couldn't go this way.  But the man said we would drive into the creek and go under the ice and come out on the other side!

Then he drove the Jeep into the creek and we became stuck under the ice.  The man died.  The next thing I remember I was out of the jeep and in the water.  My face felt cold and I could feel the ice over my head.  I felt trapped under the ice and I couldn't get out.  Finally at the bank, I managed to work my fingers through the ice where it was thinner.  I banged it with my hand and it gave way.  The young woman and I managed to break through the ice with our bodies and emerge from the creek.

That is my scary dream!  What do you think of it?

Signed,

Still Alive

 

Dear Alive,

You mention an interest sparked and a stirring of feelings that have been “on ice” since your husband’s passing.

Your dream suggests you're approaching a threshold in this regard, depicted by that icy creek.  You’ve kept your emotions in check, and perhaps now feel trapped by the cool exterior you’ve practiced for so long.  In your dream you said, “We needed to go somewhere,” suggesting you need to cross this barrier to reactivate that dormant part of your life.  The transition requires that you take up a younger state of mind represented by the young woman traveling with you.  

On first consideration, you don't think it's possible or likely that you'll be successful making the transition through the icy waters.  In spite of your hesitance, the man in the Jeep, a rugged and sporty vehicle (perhaps your attractive new acquaintance), says, in effect, “We’ll just take the plunge.”  His strategy did not pay off for him!  And it's a scary struggle for you to make the crossing.  But take heart, Dear Dreamer!  You break through the ice and come out on the other side with that younger woman and state of mind.

Best Wishes and Sweet Dreams to You!

SMYD