Dream Interpretation: Quit Worrying and Live!

With our own experiences and documented examples of dreams predicting future events, it is important to consider that a dream may be cautioning the dreamer.  If you dream of having a flat tire or a blowout, for example, be sure to check the wear and pressure of your tires!  Presuming all is well in the auto maintenance department, you must move on to the likelihood that your dream is speaking to you metaphorically, as today’s dream is to this worried dreamer.

Dear Carolyn,

I dreamed I was trying to help a little girl on atrain.  She was lost or separated from her parents or something.  Anyway, she was scared and huddled in a corner.  I guess I could see her thoughts or something like that.  There were pictures covering the walls of normal, everyday things.  But every time she looked at one of them, she saw something scary.  I only remember one of the pictures now.  It was of a beautiful young woman seated under a tree.  But when this little girl looked at it, she saw the young woman being struck by lightning!  I saw it too.

This dream really scares me.  It feels like an omen especially because it comes at a time when I’ve finally decided to make some changes in my life!  Could this be one of those precognitive dreams that is telling me all the stuff that’s going to go wrong?  It seems like something scary is around every corner.  I feel paralyzed.  What should I do?

Signed,

Scared to Make a Move

Dear Scared,

It’s true that our dreams can and do warn us of potential hazards or false steps inherent in our circumstances.  But let’s look at your dream as you report it.  The walls are covered with “normal, everyday things.”  It’s only when the scared little girl in you looks at them that the terrors emerge.  Her fear changes those run of the mill images to frightening possibilities lurking in routine things.

The little girl huddling in the corner, immobilized, is a metaphor for that part of you that has had a difficult time deciding to make changes in her life.  How long have you waited and worried instead of doing what you know you can and should do?  Now, you are on the train, getting ready to make the move, when you again begin to look at everything that could go wrong.  Disasters everywhere!  Who wouldn’t be paralyzed?

It’s good to be cautious and prepared.  It’s also important to note that fear of change constitutes fear of growth, an essential to a vibrant life.  Realize also that the one image that you remember is that of a young woman being struck by lightning.  What are the odds?  Are you going to stay inside today to avoid that possibility?  Tomorrow?

Remember Dear Dreamer, that worrying is like sitting in a rocking chair.  It gives you something to do, but it won’t get you anywhere.  Proceed with caution, but proceed!

Sweet Dreams to You!

Everyone gets chased and drowns in their dreams

If you are lucky enough to attend this year’s annual conference of the International Association for the Study of Dreams, you might attend a workshop with dream interpretation icon Patricia Garfield, Ph.D.  She is co-founder of the IASD and most impressive in her wealth of knowledge of dreams and dreamers from around the world. 

In her book The Universal Dream Key Garfield distills the results of her study of dreams contributed from 500 dreamers - 325 from the United States and 175 from thirty-six other countries.

The product is a practical guide for applying dreams to our daily lives as well as understanding our dreams in the greater context of the “epics that have been told since the dawn of time.”  Garfield goes on to say that “the intimate stories that you tell yourself tonight when you go to bed have flowed across the centuries from cave dweller to condo dweller…They unveil not only your most intimate secrets but also the dreads and desires of humankind.”

Here are the top two of the 12 most common dream themes that Garfield has identified in her book.  You are sure to recognize them from your own nocturnal travels!

#1.  Being chased or attacked v. being embraced or loved.  More than 80% of dreamers report one or both sides of this dream motif.  Garfield cites the usual meaning of such dreams as it equates to the dreamer’s waking life:  I feel hounded, threatened or attacked by a person in my environment or by a strong internal emotion.

Sound familiar?  Such dreams will occur when desperate feelings dog us in our waking lives.  The dream can be a not-so-subtle prodding to deal with the situation or experience nighttime replays until you do!  More depth of understanding comes with insights into who or what is chasing you.

In contrast, being embraced or loved in a dream may speak to that universal human yearning to connect.  Again, who or what the dreamer is embracing, or being embraced by will offer another important layer of meaning.

#2.  Falling or drowning v. swimming or dancing joyfully.  A hefty 64% of dreamers in Garfield’s study report one or both sides of this dream scenario.  She offers a starting point for understanding the frightening experience as equating with a waking emotional state of insecurity, feeling adrift without solid footing or support. 

If you are feeling helpless, overwhelmed or wanting to give up, surrender (drown), an accompanying dream of falling or drowning is likely slated for your restless sleep.  Such a dream prompts you to acknowledge your feelings and circumstance and to seek the appropriate support and assistance. 

It follows that swimming or dancing joyfully in your dream would speak to a sensation of skill or accomplishment in your waking life.  Perhaps your dream depicts you in the mode or seeking it as an encouragement to press on in your endeavors.

The IASD Conference is slated for Berkeley in June this year.  Hope to see you there!

Sweet Dreams to You!

A leech from the past sucks at today's dreamer!

Recurring dreams can be among the most upsetting of dreams and by that same token, among the most helpful in moving a dreamer forward in her waking life.  Consider today’s example – a recurring dream of leeches sucking the lifeblood from our dreamer!

Dear SMYD,

A few nights ago I dreamed of an old boyfriend from way back in my past, “Johnny.”  I became so frustrated with him!  He got the idea early in his life that he didn’t have to work very hard.  At a young age he was already head and shoulders above any competitors.  Then, as he grew up and rose in the ranks, he found himself among others equally talented.  It was harder him to stand out.  But instead of working harder, his efforts became lackluster.  So he plateaued.  He lived on his laurels and outgrew them.  Instead of sending him to the top of his game, his talents and early success sent him on a low trajectory. 

For whatever reason, I dream of him two or three times a year!  The dreams vary a little, but most of them are like the one this week:  I feel an itch and look down and see that to my horror, a leech is clamped onto to my arm.  When I pull it off, I see that it has Johnny’s face!  As soon as I throw it away, another one is sucking at my leg or my breast or my neck.  They all have his face.  I push them away and struggle with them, but they keep coming back, sucking at me.

Signed,

Creeped Out by Leaches

Dear Creeped Out,

While you don’t mention that you have a similar talent or the same level of early success that Johnny had, it seems likely that you do.  After all, your dream is suggesting that you parallel him in pattern of behavior.  Whatever it is in you that gives in too quickly and resists working hard when the going gets tough is very Johnny-like.  It is sucking at you, draining your lifeblood, your vigor and your chances for greater success in your chosen endeavors.

If you do not recognize the similarity between yourself and Johnny immediately, here’s a method that will help you pin it down:  You’ve just had ‘the dream.’  Write it down along with the events and circumstances of your waking life.  Chances are excellent that something’s going on that has you feeling defeated.  You just don’t have any more energy to give it.  Face it.  That’s what Johnny said to himself.  Why try when it’s so hard?

Still not ringing a bell?  That’s OK.  Wait until the dream comes again.  Write it down again along with the current events and circumstances.  You will begin to see quickly that this dream comes when you are in your “Johnny mode” of giving up instead of trying harder to achieve the goals to which you give lip service.

You must break this habit Dear Dreamer or your trajectory will flatten as well.

Sweet Dreams to You!

Sex, death and automobiles!

In anticipation of the 31^st Annual Conference of the International Association for the Study of Dreams, to be held at the Doubletree Hotel at the Berkeley Marina, June 4-8, 2014, let’s take a look at some timeless insights into dream meaning by the Reverend JeremyTaylor, Co-Founder and Past President of the IASD.

Dear Dreamers,

You most likely have known me to dissuade you from subscribing to any source of information about dreams that claims to know definitively that “if you dream ‘this’ it means ‘this.’”

Dreams are too personal and too complex to be reduced to such simplistic terms!

But, having said that, we can look to certain archetypal images that occur in dreams across the spectrum of dreamers.  Even their implications for an individual dreamer cannot be summed up in a pat “definition;” but as former President of the International Association for the Study of Dreams, Reverend Jeremy Taylor says, their metaphorical message “turns out to be true so often, that it’s worth asking if it might be true” for the current dream you’re working on. 

Keeping mindful of the already-stated caveat, Taylor goes on to discuss several dream images with which you are no doubt are familiar:

1.      1.  Vehicles, specifically automobiles:  These will frequently provide analogies to the physical self.  If something is wrong with your car in your dream, it is a good starting place to look for a corresponding physical symptom in your own body.  Or, there may be a literal tie to your actual, waking-life automobile.  Brakes fail in your dream; check your brakes in your waking life.

      2.   Death:  In our dreams, is not to be feared.  Death represents a dramatic change through emotional growth.  You cannot grow up and become, let’s say, a more empathetic person until you experience the death of your self-centered, uncaring self.  Even dreams of suicide speak to our deliberate choice to change our way of being in waking life.  In effect, death is the necessary precursor to rebirth as a “new, improved” person!

3.     3. Sex:  Almost always, overt sex in our dreams will be addressing a longing in our waking life.  Here it is important to spend time understanding our sex partner.  If your dreaming self has you in an intimate embrace with a former professional colleague, for example, it will be helpful to think about the salient qualities that person has.  Your dream suggests that you are longing to make them your own.  According to Taylor, dreams of same sex love or attraction reflect your own deepening sense of self-acceptance.

There are, of course, many more archetypal images that frequent our dreams.  Beginning your exploration with such timeless approaches is a sure gateway to understanding your dreams.  From there, dream work shifts naturally to the personal application that will change your thinking and change your life!

If you can attend the IASD Conference in Berkeley, by all means do!  You will have a rich and worthwhile experience.  In any case, please continue to Send Me Your Dreams!

Sweet Dreams to You!

sendmeyourdreams@yahoo.com

Dreamer throws hand grenade down the storm drain!

If your dream presents you with an explosion or even the potential for one, you must pay close attention to its implications.  Today’s dreamer seems out of harm’s way, but still should validate that conclusion with her doctor.

Dear SMYD,

At a reunion recently, I sat at the kitchen table with four generations of women from my family.  I had a great time except for learning one extremely troubling thing:  My mom and aunts and grandma all talked about a debilitating condition that they say runs in our family.  I know it’s partly superstition, but now I’m really scared.

Then I dreamed I was standing on a metal grid over a storm drain.  I was with another woman who was dressed as though she was from the 30’s.  She wore a big wool camel-colored coat with broad padded shoulders.  She had auburn hair in a 1930’s coif.  She was beautiful with perfect skin and red lips.  We were standing side-by-side on this grid over a storm drain.  It must have rained - the streets were wet.

Then a young man came and handed her something.  I could see that it was a hand grenade and he had pulled the pin.  It had that lever on the side that when released would allow it to explode.  Somehow I got it from her and pushed it between the metal bars of the grid.

It started to fall and I knew it was going to explode below us.  But it continued to fall for a long, long, long time.  When it finally did explode it was so far below us that it was amazing.  We had no idea the drainpipe was so long and deep.  We heard it explode and could see the flash of the explosion, but we were unharmed and laughed a little laugh of relief.

Signed,

Family Bombshell

Dear Bombshell,

Your dream seems to speak about the things deep in your family history -  from grandmother’s generation and earlier - that you are worried could be harmful to you.  You are standing there with someone who could be your grandmother, looking beautiful and perfect, when this bomb arrives, similar to the way the news was delivered to you at the table.

You mention your belief that the condition your family members referred to is mostly superstition.  So in your dream, you stuff it into the drain pipe even though you know it is going to explode.  This is not your best plan of action.  While you do not want to assume a literal meaning for your dream, it is prudent to respond to all possibilities.  Check with your doctor about the condition and its propensity to follow families.  Then you can set your mind at ease.

Happily, in your dream the explosion is so deep, so far below, it is essentially harmless.  This is most likely the outcome you will find as you complete your due diligence in researching with your doctor.  Then you can again laugh that little laugh of relief.

Sweet Dreams to You, Dear Dreamer!

Driving with Miss Cindy

Any time you let someone else do the driving, you are subject to their whims.

If a dreamer takes a back seat in her own car or relinquishes control to someone she barely knows, as today’s dreamer did, caution is called for.  Notice how the tone of her dream changes when she asserts her feelings.

Dear SMYD,

I have been living on my own for over a year now.  It’s good because my dad died and my mom couldn’t really afford to feed me.  The hard part is that I can’t always afford to feed myself!  I have two pretty good jobs and pay my rent on time every month, but my diet is mostly cereal and milk, mac and cheese and Top Ramen!  Not so good.

I have met a new friend at one of my jobs, “Cindy,” and we are talking about becoming roommates.  It would definitely help me to have someone share the rent and buy the groceries.  We are about the same age, but she is married, and they aren’t getting along.  So she needs a place to stay for a little while so she can think things over.

Last night I dreamed that Cindy was driving my car and I was riding in the back seat.  She seemed careless and I was concerned about her driving.  So I did some backseat driving of my own.  I warned her to look out for a curb and watch out when another car came too close.  She didn’t like my directions very much at first.  But soon we both relaxed and she drove us to a nice old foreign looking town.  We stopped there and had a good time.

Signed,

Riding Around with Cindy at the Wheel

Dear Riding,

Your dream offers two powerful metaphors that demand your attention.  Taking a back seat speaks clearly to the idea of putting yourself in the background in a relationship.  You do not say your exact age, but assuming you are quite young, perhaps it is normal to step back and observe how someone more worldly, a married woman, does things.  But the fact that you let her drive you – your car – can be worrisome.  Generally, it is not a good idea to let someone else run your life, especially someone you know so little about!

Still, you speak up for yourself when you feel uncomfortable with how things are going.  That is important for you to remember, Dear Dreamer.  Your dream suggests that when you assert yourself, Cindy will respond in such a way that you both can relax and be comfortable.

You wind up in a place you are both unfamiliar with, the foreign town.  The implication is that you both will learn some things you did not expect to learn and enjoy the ride as you do.  This bodes well for your time with Cindy so long as you watch the road closely and make your feelings known.  Just because you let her drive this time, doesn’t mean it’s OK to let her run your life!

Sweet Dreams to You!

Dreamer worries about losing her head at work

Anne Boleyn lost her head, perhaps because she failed to understand the politics in Henry VIII's castle.  But today's dreamer has a good role model to help her avoid the pitfalls  at work.

Today’s dreamer has taken big steps toward putting her dream into the context of her waking life events.  We can readily see how her dream offers insights into her new job and the office politics she fears.

Dear Carolyn,

I had a dream about navigating customs at a Turkish airport.  A manager from my real-life office, a woman of Middle Eastern ancestry, helped me through customs in my dream world.  There was a bathroom at the airport with make-up bottles that women had thrown away because they knew they could not take liquid make-up through customs.  There was a maze-like hallway in the dream with switchbacks and dead ends.  The bathroom was at the end of one of these turnaround points.

 In real life, this particular woman from the dream seems to be one of the up and comers, one of the insiders in my new office situation where a surprising number of seemingly good individuals (in my judgment) have been re-assigned, demoted, or have resigned recently.  Could it be that things are not always what they seem on the surface, whether it is a woman painted with make-up or a people engaged in office politics?  Will it help to stop wearing make up to work?  Or, could it be that make-up is a metaphor for wearing a game face or not wearing make-up could be a metaphor for being my authentic self?  Just curious.  In real life, I realize there will always be office politics, but it always makes me shiver a bit when the axe falls and heads roll.  Now I know how Anne Boleyn must have felt.  Please don't use my real name in your column.  I would hate to lose my head by someone else's hand!  I have enough trouble keeping it on my shoulders.  

Signed,

The Queen’s Sister

Dear Sister,

You have many good leads to follow in your dream and your insights are right on track. 

You mention that you are in a new job and the manager who guides you in your dream is helping you “navigate customs.”  Consider it a play on words.  Rather than the literal meaning of passing through airport customs, you have to learn the norms and conventions – the customs – of your new workplace.  Happily, you have a guide or role model who is an “up and comer, an office insider” who knows the pitfalls of the terrain.  Follow her example.

You don’t have to stop wearing your make-up to work!  Rather, your dream suggests that you should be yourself, and you can do that with your make-up on as usual.  True, we all have game faces, or work faces that differ from our casual faces.  We adjust our manners and mannerisms to the various situations in which we operate during the course of a day.   

Be yourself, work diligently and you will fare well in your new environment – so long as you don’t dally with the King!

Sweet Dreams to You!

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