Dreamer test drives a re-marriage

Dreams of driving a car are often dreams about how we move along the roads of life.  How the car handles the curves may speak to how the driver manages the challenges of daily life.  Today’s dreamer has a test drive of a car she used to own as she considers going back to a life she used to live.

Dear SMYD,

My husband “Ray” and I split up about a year and a half ago.  It was about as amiable as a divorce can be, especially since I broke his heart.  Maybe it was amiable because I broke his heart!  I think he wanted to keep everything friendly and easy so it wouldn’t spoil the chances of our getting back together.  He told me he has always held out hope of that.

We have been talking lately and going for coffee, things like that, all very public, nothing serious or intimate in any way.  I can tell he still wants us to remarry.  I’m not sure how I feel about it.

Now here’s my dream:  I bought a new car, but it was my old car, the one I drove when Ray and I were married.  It was waiting for me in a parking lot.  When I got in it, it was cramped and seemed a lot smaller than I remembered it.  But I adjusted the seat and was comfortable enough. 

I drove it fast over dirt roads and muddy roads.  I skimmed over ruts and potholes, slippery spots and puddles.  The car became a go-cart and I was grumpy about it because there wasn’t much to it.  I was annoyed that I might be splashed by one of the puddles, but the water splashed away from me.  In the end,  I was surprised and pleased that the little car made it through everything, handled so well, and was comfortable overall.

Signed,

Car Shopping

Dear Car Shopping,

As you describe him, it seems that Ray has been in a holding pattern since your split, hoping to get back with you.  You might say he was in a parking lot, like the car in your dream.  It is the car you drove when you were together.  And now, as you are giving Ray a second look, your dream represents this as taking that car, Ray, for a test drive! 

The car is different from the way you remember it, just as a second marriage might be different.  For one thing, it seems cramped at first.  But when you make an adjustment, you are comfortable.  Maybe the first time around you were unnecessarily grumpy because you expected more than you truly needed.  Perhaps you were the pessimist, expecting to be splashed before you saw which way the water would fly.

Keep in mind Dear Dreamer – you would need to adjust yourself to make things work with Ray.  If you do that, you could travel many a road nimbly and in pleasant and surprising contentment.

Sweet Dreams to You!

SMYD

sendmeyourdreams@yahoo.com

How to heal a broken heart

Whenever we dream of our money, our valuables or the places we store them, that dream is not necessarily speaking about actual cash or jewelry, but something intangible we hold dear.  Then the setting or the outcome of the dream is most relevant.  What happens to your “stuff” and how you feel about it are keys to understanding your dream’s message.  Today’s dream shows the dreamer’s loss of everything out of her wallet, almost.

Dear SMYD,

My parents say that someone my age cannot experience true love.  Teenagers are too young to know the meaning of the word, so my mom says.  I know she is trying to help me get over being dumped by my boyfriend, but it doesn't help.  I am in pain, real pain!  Even my best friend just says to go out with other guys as a remedy.  I tried it with a really cute guy and broke out crying in the middle of the date!  “Just get over it!” is not working.  I am so sad every day and I don’t know what to do.

Now I have had this weird dream and it really bothered me.  Please tell me what you think it means:  Someone stole everything out of my wallet – my paycheck and my first credit card, everything!  I was so upset I cried and cried.  I was sobbing my eyes out until I suddenly realized that I still had my ID and pictures of my mom and dad and my brother.  For some reason then I knew that everything was going to be OK. 

Signed,

Broken Hearted

Dear Broken Hearted,

While it is not the same as a more mature, “eyes wide open” love, young love is real, and first love is most poignant.  A broken heart is painful no matter how old you are!

Many of us, young and older, put so much value into our relationship with a significant other that we lose a bit of who we are without that person.  We surrender too much of ourselves and think our lives have meaning only in relation to the other person.  This may be what your parents are trying to guard against.  They know that the best relationships most often come when two fully-formed, independent people decide to join forces.

Your dream suggests that you gave up a lot of yourself to be with the guy who dumped you.  When he left, he “stole” your most valued possession, your self-esteem.  At first, through your sobbing and grief, you thought you had lost your very identity.  But no, Dear Dreamer!  Your dream reveals that you still have your ID and your family, those who truly love and support you.

You have heard that time heals all wounds.  It truly does.  So while it seems impossible to you now, it is certain that you will emerge a stronger person and better partner in your next go-round.  As for the young man who hurt you, remember also that Time wounds all Heels.

Sweet Dreams to You!

Dreamer to Dream: Is he the right man?

Idyllic scenes in our dreams may be pointing out what is right in front of us.  At times these dreams can be taken at face value.  But if the emotions felt in the dream do not jibe with the scene, the dream’s message is entirely different.

Dear SMYD,

My friends are advising me to stick with “Bob.”  Bob is a nice man, much better than some of the lay-abouts I have dated in the past.  I even married one of them!  It was so hard to get out of that situation that I have been very leery of relationships since then.  I just listen to my gut and most often it says “run!”

Bob does seem like a good guy, and my friends tell me I have become too picky.  If I am too cautious, they say I will wind up alone.  No one is perfect, of course, but Bob’s little quirks are starting to bug me.  He is almost too good and I feel like he is trying to hold on to me too tight.  The idea of settling because Bob is well off does not appeal to me.

In my dream I saw a contented cow, like the ones from the old milk commercials.  She was black and white and grazing in a beautiful green field.  She was actually smiling and humming and swaying as if to show just how content she was.

Then, I saw her in her grave.  It sounds weird, but she was still content.  Her headstone was a large bag of money! 

Is this dream about Bob and me?

Signed,

A Contented Cow

Dear Contented,

Yes, your dream seems to speak to your ideas about life with Bob.

You do not mention your feelings or any emotion you felt during your dream.  Those could be keys to understanding the implications of the dream for you.

Given the background you offered, a couple of possibilities emerge:  First, you find yourself at a point of decision in your waking life – should you ‘settle’ for a good man who does not seem to thrill you?

 

With this question in mind, your dream may be showing you the tranquility and security of a contented life.  Like the happy, healthy cow, you could smile and hum and rock along through life, encountering little, if any, discord.  You could go that way right on into your grave.  No worries!

If that felt good in your dream, go for it Dear Dreamer!  All the pieces are in place for a secure future.  If you decide to run again, take off with your eyes open!  Know what you are leaving behind.

But if, while you observed this scene and its outcome, you felt distressed, or unhappy, or cheated, then you should think again before continuing with Bob.  In spite of your friends’ advice, sometimes even a good man is not the right man.  And sometimes a cow, even a cash cow, is not the animal we would choose to be.

Sweet Dreams to You!

SMYD

Don't let the pond scum keep you down!

In dreams, animals that live below the surface can signify thoughts kept private.

When the action of a dream takes place underground or in the back yard, or behind any building, it suggests thoughts or a state of mind that is private or behind the scenes.  Today’s dream provides an example of how background can affect foreground.

Dear SMYD,

I dreamed that whales and dolphins were swimming in my backyard!  They were leaping and splashing, extremely playful and fun to watch.  I was thrilled, and so excited and happy to see them.  I knew they were a good sign, that they meant good things.  I couldn’t wait to tell my husband about them.  But I also felt frustrated when I tried to find him.

Then, when I went back to see the all the animals and to show them off, there weren’t as many there.  There weren’t any whales at all.  All that was left were seals and dolphins and they seemed less playful.  And the water had some scum in the corner nearest the house.  It was green like algae that forms on stagnant water.  This was upsetting to me.  I didn’t know what to do.

The next day, when I tried to talk to my husband about it, all he said was that I worry too much about pollution!  I am concerned about the environment, but even though the pond scum bothered me, I think the dream is about something else.  What do you make of it?

Signed,

Sad about the Whales

Dear Sad,

Your dream has selected an image and a concept that are important to you to draw attention another aspect of your life that may be languishing.

In your very own backyard, or below the surface of your consciousness, are playing some beautiful and powerful animals.  Whales and dolphins inspire awe not only fortheir wild beauty, but also for the intelligence we are learning more and more about.  Even in your dream you knew their appearance signaled positive things.  For you, this dream illustrates those powerful, positive and playful energies playing just below the surface.  You have kept this part of yourself behind the scenes, but now you’d like to show it off to the world.

The scum suggests a negative element creeps in and keeps you from expressing the joy and creativity that is thriving within you and ready to burst forth.  Don’t give in to pedestrian or pessimistic thoughts that seep into your mind, Dear Dreamer!  If allowed to expand, like the algae in your dream, they can suck the air out of your playful self, limit your creative impulses, and consign you to frustration and acceptance of the mundane.

Your husband mentioned your caring concern for the environment, and this may the appropriate focus for your talent and energy.  But you may also have an idea that you have not yet expressed to the outside world, something that you have dreamed of, but are shy to pursue.  Find anoutlet for this part of yourself and you find a richer life.

Sweet Dreams to You!

SMYD

Security doesn't always mean happiness

Our pets may appear in our dreams acting as an aspect of ourselves.  Is your pet courageous?  Always there to protect you?  Or, is she timid and afraid of her own shadow?  Her personality trait in your dream most likely points to a trait of your own that is helping you or holding you back.

Dear SMYD,

My mother is impatient with my love life.  She has thrown up her hands at me.  I was divorced more than 10 years ago and she wants to see me remarried, settled down and secure.  I have dated a few men since the divorce and mom has approved of every one.  But each one has had a personal habit or a character flaw that I did not want to live with.  She thinks I am too picky and unrealistic.

Now I have been dating Don for several months, and mom and I are going through the same argument.  She thinks I should marry him (he seems inclined to propose sometime soon) and I am feeling uncertain.  He is a good man, but holds on a little too tight if you know what I mean.

Here’s my dream:  I have Sweetie, my dog, under my arm and I am running toward a storm shelter.  Sweetie didn’t like what was happening and struggled to get free and run away.  I kept her with me knowing what was good for her – that she would be safe with me and that I would know where she was, which would make me feel better.

Storms were coming.  There were big clouds coming toward me.  They were white and the sun was also shining.  We had to run up a hill to the shelter.  A man was there showing us the way, waving his arms like he was directing traffic.  He looked kind of like Don.

So what do you make of this dream?

Signed,

Running from a Storm

Dear Running,

It seems clear that you and Sweetie have a prominent trait in common:  Neither of you likes to be held too closely or prevented from enjoying your freedom. 

In your dream, you force Sweetie to go with you toward the “shelter” where Don beckons.  But she struggles to free herself, even though you, or more likely the mother in you, purports to know what is good for her. 

What is there to run from, Dear Dreamer?  Sure, there are clouds in the sky, but white clouds on a sunny day, not dark threatening stormy clouds.  Why would you go into a shelter?  Don calls you to join him.  He clearly represents a safe place, but perhaps more safety than is called for.  That kind of “safety” can be stifling, as you already know. 

Your mother’s intentions are good, Dear Dreamer.  She “knows what’s good for you,” and for her that means security above all else.  But you, not she, will have to live in the confined space where Don controls the traffic.  Your dream says to trust your own instincts. 

Sweet Dreams to You!

Dreamers are not alone!

Famous dreamer John Lennon

Dear Dreamers,

Can you think of anyone you know who hasn’t puzzled over the cryptic images of a dream?  Research shows that everyone dreams every night!  Some say they never remember their dreams.  Too bad for them!  They’re missing a wealth of readily available revelations and inventiveness. 

References to dreams are all around us and have been since the beginning of time.  Cultures across the globe, from primitive to advanced, have reported their dreams and relied on them to be visionary and stimulating in every facet of life. 

So the current fascination with dreams in the United States is not new, but dreams are ever fresh and rich in layers of meaning, as well as a deep reservoir of inspiration.

Consider these examples of creativity based in the dreams of well-known artists:  Both John Lennon and Paul McCartney attribute the source of some of their extensive playlist to their dreams.  For example, John Lennon said that he heard the lyrics to his song “#9 Dream,” in a dream.  And his writing partner Paul McCartney attributes the tune for “Yesterday,” his most often covered song, to a dream.  He woke with it complete in his mind, went straight to the piano and worked it out on the keyboard.

Perhaps not surprisingly, the dreamlike artwork of Salvador Dali was inspired by his dreams.  One of his most famous works, “Persistence of Memory,” depicts Dali’s conception of time as it felt in his dreams.  Indeed, Dali expressed his deep reverence for dreams when he said, “One day it will have to be officially admitted that what we have christened reality is an even greater illusion than the world of dreams,”

Acclaimed filmmaker Christopher Nolan, of “Matrix” among others, credits his experiences with lucid dreams for the inspiration for his expansive and complex movie about lucid dreaming, “Inception.”  In both films, Nolan, much like Dali, challenges the traditional concepts of dreaming and waking, depicting them as interchangeable, each influencing the other.  

          

When he was recovering from critical injuries suffered after being hit by a minivan while on his evening constitutional, Stephen King got the idea for his story “Dreamcatcher” from a series of dreams he had about four guys in a cabin in the woods.  One cannot help wondering if all those scary stories King wrote reflect many years of nightmares!

Even this tiny sample from the arts makes it clear that all of us who marvel at our nightly sojourns are in good company.  The quality and caliber of those who ponder dreams and are inspired by them is exemplary.  You are among the stars, Dear Dreamers!

To expand your dreaming horizons even more, I suggest exploring the International Association for the Study of Dreams at www.asdreams.org.  There you will find depth and breadth in the investigation of dreams, from the clinical analysis of the biological and psychological origins of dreams, to the soaring spiritual implications of our universal, human experience.

Sweet Dreams to you, Dear Dreamers!

SMYD

sendmeyourdreams@yahoo.com

Dream's advice: Celebrate new love a little at a time

Champagne may be the perfect metaphor for a new relationship:  Just like love, it can burst forth on the happiest of occasions.  It is bubbly and exciting by its very nature.  But it can lose its sparkle quickly too.  What’s a lonely man to do?

Dear SMYD,

It seems that the men in my family have always had bad luck with women.  My dad and his brothers all were married and divorced at least once!  I’ve probably gotten most of my attitudes toward women and marriage from them.  It hasn’t helped me much.  I’ve been divorced once and had three other long-term but doomed relationships with women!  

But I think I’d be happier if I were married, or at least in a committed relationship, so I am pretty excited about a new woman that my friend introduced me to.  She seems down-to-earth and is fun to be around.  She has a great sense of humor and she is easy on the eyes.  But with my history, I can’t have much hope for our future!

Here’s my dream:  My uncle hands me a very large bottle of Chanel No. 5 cologne.  I really wanted it.  When I started to open the bottle, I saw that it was effervescent – bubbly like champagne.  I opened it a little, then recapped it quickly to keep it from gushing out or going flat.  I wanted to splash it on but I was afraid to have it open long enough to even get the fragrance!

My sister thinks this dream is about my new girlfriend.  What do you think?

Signed,

Afraid of Cologne!?

Dear Afraid,

Your sister may be on to something.  Based on the background you included, one divorce and three failed long-term relationships, the new woman in your life might be considered No. 5.  But she comes to you from your uncle’s point of view, that women are hard to understand and harder to live with.  So this new opportunity may be fresh and different, but it is filtered through not just your negative experiences, but also those of your family members and their unpleasant history. 

And, even though you truly want to enjoy the fragrance, or to celebrate with some bubbly, you approach the prospect timidly, with skepticism and hesitance.  You seem to be saying, “What if my emotions overflow and I wind up getting hurt again?  What if the relationship loses its thrill and goes flat?”

Those are the risks you take, Dear Dreamer, any time you take a chance on love.  You may have better odds this time given your reflective state of mind and strong desire to try again.  Instead of being ruled by your past, and assuming this new relationship is doomed like the others, why not learn from them?  You have gained some insights about women and about yourself.    As your dream suggests, take a little at a time, don’t let your emotions surge too far in front.  Let your better self emerge.  Sip and enjoy.

Sweet Dreams to You!

SMYD

sendmeyourdreams@yahoo.com