Married a Stranger!

Our Dreamer Writes:

Dear SMYD,

I dreamed I married a young, handsome, good man.  But I hardly knew him!

We are in a house that’s large and he’s very proud of it.  But I see it’s dated in every aspect.  All the furniture is worn; all the paint is chipped or sloppy or unattractive; all appliances are dated and crusty. 

I am especially dismayed at the kitchen being so small with only two tiny cabinets.  This seems to be his family’s house, his mom’s house.

I try to put on a happy face, but my emotions show, and he is deflated.  He says we’ve made a mistake.  I say no, we love each other but need to get to know each other. 

Too Soon a Bride?

Dear Too Soon,

I can’t help wondering if you’re a bit impulsive. 

Your dream suggests you’ve made a commitment before looking past the superficial qualities of the arrangement.  As soon as you take off your rose-colored glasses, you begin to see that some things are below your standards or expectations.

Just like your new spouse, you are disappointed, but you want to make a go of it.  In the dream, the normal sequence is reversed:  Instead of getting to know someone, or getting familiar with a situation before committing to it, “marrying it,” you jump in first and ask questions after.  This doesn’t doom the new arrangement, but it does put a strain.

If you’ve already made the leap, your work is laid out for you.  Your partner is willing, but may be grounded in an old way of doing things---as things were done in his mom’s house.  This is the mindset with which you must deal.

If you haven’t yet committed to the arrangement, think long and thoroughly before you do.

Best Wishes to You, Dear Dreamer!

SMYD