Sex, death and automobiles!

In anticipation of the 31^st Annual Conference of the International Association for the Study of Dreams, to be held at the Doubletree Hotel at the Berkeley Marina, June 4-8, 2014, let’s take a look at some timeless insights into dream meaning by the Reverend JeremyTaylor, Co-Founder and Past President of the IASD.

Dear Dreamers,

You most likely have known me to dissuade you from subscribing to any source of information about dreams that claims to know definitively that “if you dream ‘this’ it means ‘this.’”

Dreams are too personal and too complex to be reduced to such simplistic terms!

But, having said that, we can look to certain archetypal images that occur in dreams across the spectrum of dreamers.  Even their implications for an individual dreamer cannot be summed up in a pat “definition;” but as former President of the International Association for the Study of Dreams, Reverend Jeremy Taylor says, their metaphorical message “turns out to be true so often, that it’s worth asking if it might be true” for the current dream you’re working on. 

Keeping mindful of the already-stated caveat, Taylor goes on to discuss several dream images with which you are no doubt are familiar:

1.      1.  Vehicles, specifically automobiles:  These will frequently provide analogies to the physical self.  If something is wrong with your car in your dream, it is a good starting place to look for a corresponding physical symptom in your own body.  Or, there may be a literal tie to your actual, waking-life automobile.  Brakes fail in your dream; check your brakes in your waking life.

      2.   Death:  In our dreams, is not to be feared.  Death represents a dramatic change through emotional growth.  You cannot grow up and become, let’s say, a more empathetic person until you experience the death of your self-centered, uncaring self.  Even dreams of suicide speak to our deliberate choice to change our way of being in waking life.  In effect, death is the necessary precursor to rebirth as a “new, improved” person!

3.     3. Sex:  Almost always, overt sex in our dreams will be addressing a longing in our waking life.  Here it is important to spend time understanding our sex partner.  If your dreaming self has you in an intimate embrace with a former professional colleague, for example, it will be helpful to think about the salient qualities that person has.  Your dream suggests that you are longing to make them your own.  According to Taylor, dreams of same sex love or attraction reflect your own deepening sense of self-acceptance.

There are, of course, many more archetypal images that frequent our dreams.  Beginning your exploration with such timeless approaches is a sure gateway to understanding your dreams.  From there, dream work shifts naturally to the personal application that will change your thinking and change your life!

If you can attend the IASD Conference in Berkeley, by all means do!  You will have a rich and worthwhile experience.  In any case, please continue to Send Me Your Dreams!

Sweet Dreams to You!

sendmeyourdreams@yahoo.com

Dear Dream, Am I a rat?

Our dreams help us see the true nature of things we may have mischaracterized in our waking lives.  Sometimes a beautiful mirage is revealed for the desert behind it.  Or, as in today’s dream, something we think is unsavory may be shown to be sweet instead.

Dear SMYD,

I’m in love!  And it’s just like everyone said it would be – it came when I least expected it.  I had almost given up when I met this great guy, “Phil.”  We’ve had a whirlwind type relationship and everything is going so well.  I couldn’t be happier, except for one thing:  I have started to feel guilty about my women friends in the book club I started four years ago.  I hardly ever talk to them except to say I’m not coming to the meeting again because I’m going somewhere else with Phil.  They always say it’s no big deal, but I wonder if I’m being a bad friend.  My family even teases me about how involved I am with Phil.

I was worrying about all this as I fell asleep last night and had this dream:  I was carrying a box, like a shoebox, with a rat in it.  I wanted to keep the lid on it.  But for some reason I opened the box and it wasn’t a rat at all.  I was expecting to be afraid and repulsed by the rat.  But it was a cute little mouse instead.  Not scary or dirty at all.  In fact, when I reached to pick him up and  really focused my eyes, it was a gerbil.  It was brown and white and very sweet.  I was very relieved and happy.  I let it out to play.

Signed,

Scared of the Rat

Dear Scared,

Congratulations!  Falling in love is hard to beat!  And you sound like the kind of person who deserves happiness.  You also seem to be the extremely thoughtful kind of person who is acutely conscious of other’s feelings and well being.

This would account for the fact that in your dream, you think you’re carrying around a rat.  You want to keep the lid on your fears because a rat is the perfect metaphor for betrayal.  Rats turn their backs and rats abandon ship.  That’s what you were worrying about:  Have I abandoned my friends?  Am I a rat to my family?

But when you open the box you find that no, there is no rat.  It’s a sweet little mouse.  Adorable, harmless and even attractive.  You reach out to this little mouse who wouldn't hurt anyone, and lo and behold, even better, it’s a gerbil.

That’s you, Dear Dreamer:  A sweet and lovable person who would never hurt her friends or family.  If they’re teasing you, it’s because they’re happy for you. 

It’s perfect that in your dream you let the gerbil out to play.  No one has been slighted or hurt.  Your friends understand your new circumstance and wish you well.  Relax and enjoy your new life.

Sweet Dreams to You!

Dream's firey dragon could be dangerous

Our Dreamer Writes:

Dear SMYD,

I had a dream every day for about a month when I was about sixteen.  It starts out I am a little boy with these old fashioned tan shorts, suspenders, a paper boy’s hat, long sleeved white shirt, long knee high socks and old leather shoes.  (I have never dressed this way.  I am only forty-one years old; this was the kind of dress that would be in the twenties or thirties.) 

Anyway, I am rolling a whiskey barrel ring with a stick down a pebble-layered road.  The road seems to be in a foreign place like England or something like that.  I never played that kind of game before either.

Then I trip and fall at the edge of a well.  I seem to be all right, not hurt.  I land at the feet of a properly dressed man with a cane.  As I start to look up to see the man I can see up to his neck.  I seem to be a little scared of the man, but he had a hand stretched out to help me up.  That’s how I saw his ring.  He had a gold dragon ring with a ruby in the mouth of the dragon.  I’ve never seen a ring like it before.  I then wake up.

What does this dream mean?

Signed,

Never Forgot this Dream

 

Dear Never Forgot,

Your dream can be understood from a couple of different standpoints.  Consider both as they both offer benefits in your waking life:

First, your dream has the hallmarks of a past life experience:  In the dream, you are yourself, but much younger, a “little boy,” not the sixteen-year-old who dreamed the dream.  You’re not dressed as you dress in waking life; in fact, your clothes are indicative of another era.  You are in an area that’s unfamiliar to you, and engaged in unusual activities.  Even the road you’re on has the look and feel of another time and place.  Finally, the man who stands above you presents a formality that is uncommon today.  His dragon ring appears dramatic and frightening to a shocked and surprised little boy.

For those who subscribe to the possibility of past lives or a collective unconscious, such dreams can be considered a window into those other worlds.  Be sure though, that the value of such visits would be in the legacy they provide for your waking life today. 

This dream suggests that, at least when you dreamed it at 16, you might have been oblivious to dangers around you and fearful of a benefactor, perhaps appropriately. 

Could there be parallels in your waking life today, Dear Dreamer?  Since this dream continues to echo in your consciousness, it seems possible.  Don’t skip along naively unaware of your surroundings.  Survey your circumstances with a mature and experienced eye.  Accept the help offered to you, but cautiously.  Don’t be caught off guard when there are strings attached lest you  get burned by that fire-breathing dragon.

Sweet Dreams to You!

SMYD

Beware the Fire Breathing Dragon

Our Dreamer Writes:

Dear SMYD,

I had a dream every day for about a month when I was about sixteen.  It starts out I am a little boy with these oldfashioned tan shorts, suspenders, a paper boys hat, long sleeved white shirt,long knee high socks and old leather shoes.  (I have never dressed this way.  I am only forty-one years old, this was the kind of dress that would be in the twenties or thirties.) 

Anyway, I am rolling a whiskey barrel ring with a stick down a pebble-layered road.  The road seems to be in a foreign place like England or something like that.  I never played that kind of game before either.

Then I trip and fall at the edge of a well.  I seem to be alright, not hurt.  I land at the feet of a properly dressed man with a cane.  As I start to look up to see the man I get as far as to his neck.  I seem to be a little scared of the man, but he had a hand stretched out to help me up.  That’s how I saw his ring.  He had a gold dragon ring with a ruby in the mouth of the dragon.  I’ve never seen a ring like it before.  I then wake up.

What does this dream mean?

Signed,

Never Forgot this Dream

 

Dear Never Forgot,

Your dream can be understood from a couple of different standpoints.  Consider both as they both offer benefits in your waking life:

First, your dream has the hallmarks of a past life experience:  In the dream, you are yourself, but much younger, a “little boy,” not the sixteen-year-old who dreamed the dream.  You’re not dressed like you dress in waking life, or in an area that’s familiar to you.  Nor are you engaged in activities that you know.  In fact, your clothes are indicative of another era.  The game you’re playing is as well.  Even the road you’re on has the look and feel of another time and place.  Finally, the man who stands above you presents a formality that is uncommon today.  His dragon ring appears dramatic and frightening to a shocked and surprised little boy.

For those who subscribe to the possibility of reincarnation, such dreams can be considered a window into their past.  Be sure though, that the value of a past life would be in the legacy it provides for your waking life today. 

This dream suggests that, at least when you dreamed it at 16, you might have been oblivious to dangers around you and fearful of a benefactor, perhaps appropriately. 

Could there be parallels in your waking life today, Dear Dreamer?  Since this dream continues to echo in your consciousness, it seems possible.  Don’t skip along naively unaware of your surroundings.  Survey your circumstances with a mature and experienced eye.  Accept the help offered to you, but cautiously.  Don’t be caught off guard when there are strings attached and get burned by that fire-breathing dragon.

Sweet Dreams to You!

SMYD

Dream provides 'mop up' of past experiences

Our Dreamer Writes:

Dear SMYD,

First, a little background will help:  My kids’ dad and I have been divorced since 1995.  I don't have any feelings for him one way or the other.  We still see each other at family functions, but that’s it.  I’m moving on in my life and don’t want to repeat the past, but I do want to learn from it.

I dreamed my ex, my kids and I were in a rented house that we no longer live in.  We are cleaning and fixing it up because we moved out.  I am trying to fix a broken window on the other side of a perfect window.  (From the inside the window looks fine.  But when I look out through it, I see another window and it is broken.)  I think I need to go onto the roof to find the broken window, which I do but I can't seem to find it.  

Then we are sitting in the living room with doors open and an owl is coming towards us.  I say something like, “Watch out for the owl!”  The next thing I know the owl is sitting on my finger looking at me.  I can feel its feet and the weight of the bird.  I am so excited!  I am telling my ex-husband, “Quick take a picture!”  End of dream.

What does this dream mean?

Signed,

Cleaning Up the Old House

 

Dear Housecleaner,

Your dream about the broken window in the rented house seems to be one in which you're reflecting on past times and past relationships represented as the cleaning and fixing up of the (temporary - rental) house (relationship) where you lived in your past marriage.  Such actions are indicative of a transitional point in your waking life when you wrap up loose ends before moving on to a new phase in your life. 

You appear to be bothered by an imperfection, a shattered view (the broken window) of those times and those situations, and determined to make it right.  Perhaps in waking life you hash over some things that you would do differently if you had the chance.  But it’s important to note that the shattered view, the perceived flaw or problem, is visible only to you from the inside, and is therefore likely to be “in your head,” your interpretation alone.  When you go outside onto the roof to a more objective perspective, you cannot find the flaw (the broken window).

Then, if we accept the owl in the traditional mythology, as a symbol of wisdom, that wisdom comes and settles in on you when you recognize that there is nothing you need to worry over or correct from the past.  Your “mop up” dream of those days offers a positive learning experience:  All is well settled, Dear Dreamer.  You can move on in good conscience.  It feels great when you recognize that you’re on your way and call out to take a picture - "Look at me now!"

Sweet Dreams to You!

SMYD

Try to avoid it...It appears in your dreams!

Our Dreamer Writes:

Dear SMYD,

I’ve always enjoyed my dreams and appreciated the “inside information” they’ve brought to me over my lifetime.  As I scoot past the “golden years” and into the realities of old age, my thoughts and moods linger on the joy of being alive and the beauty of life itself.  Many of my dreams seem to reflect this.  They’re lovely.

On the other side is the unavoidable anxiety of knowing the end is approaching.  I don’t dwell on this, but instead try to always look on the bright side of life. 

Anyway, I’ve been lucky - I haven’t had many nightmares, but this recent dream fits that description:

I’m in my car and I’m coming up to a stop sign.  I step on the brakes, but the car doesn’t slow down.  I press harder on the brake pedal, but no response.  The car keeps rolling forward.  It even seems to be picking up speed!  Now I’m pumping the brakes, but it’s no use!  I know I can’t stop in time.  Then, I’m in the back seat of the car.  I can’t even reach the steering wheel now and we keep rolling forward.  Then someone climbs into the backseat with me.  He’s menacing.  He has a rope or something like it twisted between his hands and he’s going to strangle me!  That’s when I woke up, thank goodness! 

Signed,

Not Fair to Get Nightmares Now!

 

Dear Not Fair,

It’s wonderful to hear of your lifelong enjoyment of your dreams.  Your experience will bear out the power of a dream’s metaphors to express complex emotions and circumstances with only a few images.

Your thoughts of what the future holds may have triggered the images of this unpleasant dream. In keeping on the bright side of things, you try to avoid thinking about the inevitable.  So, your dream plays out the feelings you suppress in your waking life. 

In your dream, you’re frantically trying to slow your forward progress.  The stop sign you’re approaching suggests a threshold you’re bound to pass.  And as you’ve said, you cannot stop advancing, no matter how hard you try!  Adding to the feeling that things are out of your control, you find yourself in the back seat, unable to steer or even reach the brake pedal.

Then, bringing overt fear, a grim reaper-like character has joined you in the back seat with only one thought in mind.  It’s an unpleasant, but straightforward scenario.

It does seem unfair that you should have to face these fears in your dreams.  To remedy this, you can bring those thoughts and concerns into the light of day.  Consider talking more openly with a trusted friend or counselor.  Your family members may be more adept at listening and understanding than you would think.   You have the capacity to deal with the coming phase of your life with dignity and grace, Dear Dreamer.   Your dreams will reflect your new approach to the future.

Sweet Dreams to You!

SMYD

Timeless trappings and life after death

Our Dreamer Writes:

Dear SMYD,

My wife and I have always said we can talk about anything, but we were challenged recently when we visited a financial planner for the first time.  Right out of the gate he said we needed to prepare a last will and testament!  We felt pretty uncomfortable, but we started working on it.  Naturally, that chore quickly triggered a discussion about who would die first!  Yet another difficult conversation for us!  It was also hard to start talking about who would get what among our kids.

In the middle of all this I dreamed that I was dressed in preppy clothes and driving my favorite old car, a classic Cadillac.  A car like that never goes out of style!  My wife was with me and she was wearing what she calls her classic outfit, a little black dress. 

Suddenly the car just quit running.  I tried to start it while it was still in ‘drive’ and for some reason it worked.  We drove across a large green lawn toward a street on the other side.  Suddenly, the car stopped again.  Then, just as suddenly, we were out of the car and in front of it.  We had just kept going, just traveled along, even though the car had stopped.  We stood there feeling a little confused for a moment.  We looked at the car and our surroundings.  Then we turned toward the street ahead and started going in that direction.

I woke up feeling relieved somehow.  I just can’t figure out why I was relieved!

Signed,

Driving My Classic Car

 

Dear Classic,

It’s only natural for us to begin to feel anxious when we’re assigned the task of planning for a world we’ll be leaving behind.  Your dream seems to offer some insights into the thoughts and discussions you’re having with your wife and family, and your worries about the unknown.

First consider the Cadillac; a car you say will never go out of style.  Couple it with your preppy clothes and your wife’s little black dress.  All these images serve as metaphors in your dream, casting you and your wife as “classics,” never to fade into disuse or antiquity.  You both are timeless, just like your Caddy, your traditional prep-school clothes and her favorite frock. 

Next, when the car quits running, you and she go on.  What a lovely metaphor this is for life after the will kicks in!  Your ‘vehicle’ quits, but you keep going.  The two of you experience a momentary pause in front of the car.  You assess your new circumstances, then turn and move onto the next avenue, the street ahead. 

Now I’m not sure what your beliefs are, but if the discussion of your last will and testament made you uncomfortable, your dream arrives with reassurance that any transition in your future will be almost seamless.  Not to worry Dear Dreamer!  Like all lasting things in life, you and your wife will never go out of style!

Sweet Dreams to You!

SMYD

sendmeyourdreams@mail.com          

 

Get rid of that rat!

Our Dreamer Writes:

Dear SMYD,

I can't remember not making images.  As a child, I read voraciously, but found it easier to express myself through drawing and painting than by writing.  When I sketch and paint, I feel at "home."  Painting connects me with myself. 

Yet, throughout my life, I’ve put off this powerful desire to paint in favor of pleasing others and following instead what they said would be good for me, or what I “should” do.  As I gracefully age, I realize it is essential to embrace what is mine to do.  And, I'm clear now that creating art is mine to do.  I think I’m ready for a big change – to do what I’ve always wanted to do – be an artist!

I rarely remember my dreams, so why, when I’m teetering on the brink of an important life event, would I have this dream about a rat, the one creature I have always abhorred!  Rats just gross me out and give me the shivers. 

In my dream I’m in a basement room and I see a rat there, looking at me.  But instead of shrieking or running as I’ve done in the past, I do the unimaginable - I pick him up and toss him out the window!  It was so much easier than I thought it would be!  He was gone out the window and I did it!  I was very proud and happy with myself for doing it!

Signed,

An Artist with a Rat

 

Dear Artist,

You will appreciate that our dreams speak to us in ways similar to the way art speaks to us – through metaphors, puns and plays on words!  So, on one level your dream suggests you’ve rid yourself of a nasty companion.  You used to be timid and would run from him, but no more.  Hooray.  But that explanation alone is unsatisfactory.

To get to a deeper understanding of your dream, brainstorm the ways to think of a rat beyond his status as a disgusting and scary rodent (although that is a starting point).  But, he’s not just an unwelcome houseguest!  Given the context you offered, consider the metaphor of a rat as one who betrays another.  In your waking life, you tell us you have betrayed your own true self by setting that artistic self aside and sublimating your deepest desire.  You’ve been a rat to yourself!

Now, you say you “think” you’re ready to make a life change and go for your goals.  On any such journey of transformation, we each must face our internal rats.  Happily, in thinking about life changes and wanting to pursue your dream of being an artist, your dream suggests that you recognize that part of yourself that can be a rat...that can betray you and hold you back.  When you take the rat and toss it, you felt good, strong, empowered!  Good for you Dear Dreamer!  It speaks to how you will feel when you're true to yourself!

Sweet Dreams to You!

SMYD

sendmeyourdreams@mail.com

Do You Really Want to Unearth that Whale?

Our Dreamer Writes:

Dear SMYD,

Last night I had one of the most vivid dreams in a long time:

It was a day of celebration, where everyone took a boat to the beach and went water skiing.  I was waiting to go with my ex-boyfriend.  I saw a family with a shiny turquoise metallic boat.  The mother asked if we would like to join her.  I thought that we would have liked a boat of our own but all the other boats were taken.  

My ex showed up and by that time sun started to go down.  We got to the beach and I said to my ex that I didn’t want to go skiing because I was scared of the water at night.  He laughed and said it was ok.  We began to kiss in the water and as the waves crashed over us we were laughing because he now knew why I was scared.  

This part seems most important:  We get out of the water and head up to the beach where there is a big sand dune and many people on the beach with bright lights overlooking the beach.  We were told by someone that a giant whale has been buried and everyone needs to find it.  Everyone started to look at that dune, but we were looking out over the water thinking the whale was buried out there.  My best friend comes up to us and I wave to him with a big smile on my face and I realize I am naked.  My ex and I walk to another beach to find the whale.  After this I wake up.

Signed,

Finding a Whale with My Ex-Boyfriend

 

Dear Whale Finder,

Your dream could be about you and your ex-boyfriend, but just as likely, he serves as a metaphor for a state of mind or set of circumstances you may return to, even though it scares you.  Think about what kind of person he is, or how he lives his life.  Is that something that you find yourself drawn to?

You'd like to do things your way – have your own boat - but must accept someone else's system or rules if you go forward in the new direction.  You’re experiencing fear of the waves (of emotion) and also fear of the balancing act that the new/old relationship or circumstance will require.

Your search for the buried whale speaks to a possible desire to find a hidden life, or a hidden meaning in life.  It's significant that you choose to look in places other than those indicated by the dune (looks like a buried whale right in front of you!), by the people who tell you it's there to be dug up, and even your best friend's advice. 

Your nakedness may show that your best friend (your true self) sees through any facade you throw up to cover your thoughts/feelings/actions.  Now think, Dear Dreamer, are you looking far away for what’s right in front of you?

Sweet Dreams to You!

SMYD

sendmeyourdreams@mail.com

You Might be Eleanor Roosevelt!

Our Dreamer Writes:

Dear SMYD,

Here’s a weird one for you:  I dreamed that Eleanor Roosevelt was in the precarious and even comical position of trying to climb onto the top shelf of an étagère.  The shelves displayed ceramic figurines of Victorian men and women.  Each time Ms. Roosevelt would get to a top shelf and start to station herself there, the cabinet would wobble and tip.  She’d say, “oops!” and start her climb again.  When some of the figurines did fall and break, I began trying to glue them back together, matching heads and bodies as best I could.

Now, I’ve admired Eleanor Roosevelt for many years.  Her dignity in the face of difficult circumstances always impressed me.  She dealt with the public humiliation of her husband’s affairs with more grace than I could ever muster.  She kept her own private life quiet too.  But why in the world would I be dreaming of her?  And what about her ridiculous position in the dream?

Signed,

Friend of Eleanor

 

Dear Friend,

We almost always find that our dreams are talking to us about ourselves.  Yours is no exception.  For a first tip to this likelihood, consider how your narrative of your dream shifts from talking about Ms. Roosevelt, to how you are dealing with the scenario and the “fallout” of her actions.

While you don’t offer details of what’s going on in your waking life, your dream presents some possibilities about your state of mind.  It seems to suggest that you find yourself in precarious circumstances that you consider laughable (“comical”) on some level and even deserving ridicule, just as Ms. Roosevelt does in your dream.  As she is repeatedly trying to station herself among the Victorian figures, perhaps you also are attempting to fit yourself in among Victorian values, or a stiff and formal setting.  She kept up appearances for society’s sake.  Do you find that you also are presenting a front to the world that is out of sync with your private life or thoughts?

Each time she almost gets herself situated the show (the display case) tips and teeters, and sometimes, the Victorian image falls apart.  It’s you who tries to recreate the image by piecing together mismatched heads and bodies. 

That mismatch could also speak to a break between what a person thinks intellectually as opposed to what she knows intuitively.  Discounting gut feelings is a tricky business Dear Dreamer, and seldom offers peace of mind or security of station.

Does this dream mean your husband is having affairs, or that you’re secretly gay?  Probably not.  It’s just as likely that the dream illustrates a waking life drama with parallel story lines playing itself out in your daily situation. 

To get to a dream’s underlying theme, it can be helpful to restate it in general terms:  Someone is trying to get comfortable in a public display of outdated values.  When the façade is broken, someone tries to piece it back together.  Ring a bell?

Sweet Dreams to You, Dear Dreamer!

SMYD

sendmeyourdreams@mail.com       

Dreams Persist 'til You Progress

Dear Dreamers,

Working with our dreams can provide some of the most dazzling insights into our lives.  Presenting colorful and dramatic metaphors, power-packed with emotion, dreams are a key to personal growth.  With this in mind, let’s look at a couple of the most common types of dreams:  Recurring dreams and series of dreams.

Though sometimes the most confounding and frustrating, recurring dreams can be some of the easiest to tie directly to our waking lives.  It’s a pretty sure bet that if you’re having a recurring dream, that dream presents itself at the same time certain circumstances repeat in your “real” life. 

So, for example, if every six months you dream that you’re shackled to your desk and wearing washed out, faded clothes at work, it’s worth looking at your work calendar.  Do performance reviews come around every six months?  Are you frustrated and wondering why you keep getting passed over for promotion?  In dream language you might label that situation and its accompanying frustration being shackled to your desk!  Your washed out clothes could represent your faded status in the work place.

Noted dream researcher Jeremy Taylor says our dreams don’t tell us what we already know.  I agree, and I would add that in certain circumstances, our dreams may be calling to our attention something that we know, but don’t want to know.  We may know our work standards have been waning, but we make excuses.  We blame our boss, our competitors, the economy, or anything but ourselves for the shackles that hold us at the same old desk. 

Our dreams won’t make excuses for us.  Instead, they will more often point out with graphic certainty what we haven’t faced in our waking lives.

Whenever a recurring dream plays in your nighttime cinema, make a note of it.  Since you know this dream so well, you don’t have to write an essay about it; just jot down the date and something like, “Shackled to the desk again.  Faded clothes.  So frustrating!”  Be sure to include the emotions!

Now make some notes about your waking life.  This is key.  What’s going on at work?  What’s happening at home, with a project, with family or friends?  Any of these might be important because next time the dream recurs, you’re almost sure to see that one of these circumstances is recurring as well!  That’s what your dream’s talking about. 

Most dreamers can make these connections after only two or three recurrences and their accompanying notes.  Be sure, this dream will keep coming until you make changes!

Many of us produce series of dreams, just like a series of TV shows.  Over time, episodes play out around a similar theme.  If you have a series of dreams in which you’re in the role of teacher, for example, this is parallel to a situation you’ve settled into or are exploring, for the better or worse.  Such dreams can point out milestones, obstacles, progress or stagnation.

In every case, your dreams arrive bearing gifts of self-knowledge.

Sweet Dreams to You, Dear Dreamer!

sendmeyourdreams@mail.com

Caught between two lovers!

Our Dreamer Writes:

Dear SMYD,

I’ve changed the names in this dream in case my new boyfriend happens to read your column.  I don’t want to make things any worse than they are! 

I’m in a relationship now with Frank, and I’m pretty sure he’s the one for me.  But when we first got together he kept bugging me with questions, so I gave in and made the mistake of telling him about my ex, Jim.  Now Frank seems preoccupied with my past, and I’m beginning to wonder about the whole deal! 

Then last night I dreamed that I was sleeping in bed and Jim, my ex, was sleeping next to me.  I turned over to find that Frank was sleeping next to me on the other side!  After turning back and forth I was really worried about what to do.

So I woke Jim up to get him to slip out before Frank wakes up and discovers him.  But Frank does wake up and begins complaining about Jim being there!  I am very upset and afraid that Frank’s going to start a fistfight with Jim (something he’d never really do because Jim is much bigger and stronger).  That’s when I woke up feeling very upset. 

This dream’s trying to tell me something, but I don’t know what! 

Signed,

Caught Between Two Lovers

Dear Caught,

While our dreams are often metaphorical and confusing, speaking to us with complex images and bizarre activities, they sometimes just tell it like it is! 

Your dream seems to fall into the latter category, stating in very direct terms the dilemma you face:  In effect, you’ve taken your ex, Jim, to bed with you and Frank by talking about him in too much detail.  Now Frank is worried about comparisons between himself and Jim.  He brought them upon himself of course, with his relentless questions.  And perhaps his insecurities prompted you to turn and have another look at Jim yourself. 

It’s interesting to think that Frank may have inadvertently created the very circumstance he dreads ~ he bugged you with so many questions about Jim that you began thinking of Jim and making the very comparisons Frank hoped to avoid.  Your dream reflects this with your turning back and forth between them.

You say that if it came to a physical showdown Jim would win.  Perhaps he’d win in any case.  You don’t mention if Jim is still on the periphery of your life, but it doesn’t matter.  You say you’re only ‘pretty sure’ Frank’s the one for you.  And your dream confirms your mind’s not made up in favor of either of these two men.  After all, you don’t order Jim out of the room, you tell him to slip out as though to protect him.  You even protect yourself a bit since you don’t want Frank to know Jim’s there. 

Don’t make commitments when you’re on soft ground, Dear Dreamer!  Starting a new relationship before the old one’s finished creates strange bedfellows.

Sweet Dreams to You!