Timeless trappings and life after death

Our Dreamer Writes:

Dear SMYD,

My wife and I have always said we can talk about anything, but we were challenged recently when we visited a financial planner for the first time.  Right out of the gate he said we needed to prepare a last will and testament!  We felt pretty uncomfortable, but we started working on it.  Naturally, that chore quickly triggered a discussion about who would die first!  Yet another difficult conversation for us!  It was also hard to start talking about who would get what among our kids.

In the middle of all this I dreamed that I was dressed in preppy clothes and driving my favorite old car, a classic Cadillac.  A car like that never goes out of style!  My wife was with me and she was wearing what she calls her classic outfit, a little black dress. 

Suddenly the car just quit running.  I tried to start it while it was still in ‘drive’ and for some reason it worked.  We drove across a large green lawn toward a street on the other side.  Suddenly, the car stopped again.  Then, just as suddenly, we were out of the car and in front of it.  We had just kept going, just traveled along, even though the car had stopped.  We stood there feeling a little confused for a moment.  We looked at the car and our surroundings.  Then we turned toward the street ahead and started going in that direction.

I woke up feeling relieved somehow.  I just can’t figure out why I was relieved!

Signed,

Driving My Classic Car

 

Dear Classic,

It’s only natural for us to begin to feel anxious when we’re assigned the task of planning for a world we’ll be leaving behind.  Your dream seems to offer some insights into the thoughts and discussions you’re having with your wife and family, and your worries about the unknown.

First consider the Cadillac; a car you say will never go out of style.  Couple it with your preppy clothes and your wife’s little black dress.  All these images serve as metaphors in your dream, casting you and your wife as “classics,” never to fade into disuse or antiquity.  You both are timeless, just like your Caddy, your traditional prep-school clothes and her favorite frock. 

Next, when the car quits running, you and she go on.  What a lovely metaphor this is for life after the will kicks in!  Your ‘vehicle’ quits, but you keep going.  The two of you experience a momentary pause in front of the car.  You assess your new circumstances, then turn and move onto the next avenue, the street ahead. 

Now I’m not sure what your beliefs are, but if the discussion of your last will and testament made you uncomfortable, your dream arrives with reassurance that any transition in your future will be almost seamless.  Not to worry Dear Dreamer!  Like all lasting things in life, you and your wife will never go out of style!

Sweet Dreams to You!

SMYD

sendmeyourdreams@mail.com          

 

Swimming with the girl from Jeopardy!

Our Dreamer Writes:

Dear SMYD,

I can’t believe I’ve started my new job as a middle school counselor!  It feels amazing when people come to me for answers to their problems.  I love it even if I’m a little overwhelmed.  I think I’m going to be good at it, but I’m still new and wish I had more experience so I’d feel more secure. 

Anyway, I was pooped when I got home so I just ate some leftovers, watched some TV, including “Jeopardy.”  Then I fell asleep in front of the TV, got up and went to bed.

So it seems like the dream I had about the girl on Jeopardy is just repeating things that I saw the day before.  But the dream seems weird too.  What do you think?

I dreamed I was at the end of a swimming pool at work.  (My school doesn’t have a swimming pool!)  I was standing there with the girl I saw on Jeopardy.  She was really smart and pretty.  I was kind of surprised by her success on that show.  I even wondered just for a minute if she cheated!  (I don’t think you can really cheat on that show, but she was so young to be winning so much!)

In the dream, we were at the shallow end of this pool, but I thought it was too deep for me.  When I did get in the water, I wasn’t afraid, but I wished I knew some tricks or clever ways to stay afloat so I could feel more comfortable.  Then the girl gave me a map of the bottom of the pool.  It was beautiful with hills and valleys, trees, fish, everything! 

So like I said, I think this dream probably just took some memories from my day and added the weird details.

What do you think?

Signed,

Swimming with the Girl from Jeopardy 

Dear Swimming,

Our dreams often do incorporate elements of things we saw or thought about during our waking lives.  But if you consider the thousands of things that come to your attention in the course of any given day, it seems clear that your dreaming self selects specific images for specific reasons.

In your dream, you find yourself next to a bright young woman who’s experiencing some surprising success.  She seems a lot like you.  You say that you feel happy and competent in your new job, a successful achievement like hers, but not totally secure.  You wonder if she cheated to achieve her spot in a competitive atmosphere similar to the way you ‘can’t believe’ your own arrival in your new station.

Even though you’re at the shallow end, where beginners start, you worry that it’s too deep, that you’ll be in over your head, again just as you feel a bit overwhelmed, wishing for clever ways to stay afloat.  But not to worry Dear Dreamer.  You have the foundation (that map of the bottom!) needed to navigate your new surroundings!  You earned it!

Sweet Dreams to You!

SMYD

You can run, but...

Our Dreamer Writes:

Dear SMYD,

I like my friend “Grace” very much.  She doesn’t pull any punches!  She is an older, divorced woman, having been married for 29 years.  Once I asked her why she was divorced after such a long marriage.  She said she just got tired of paying for everything!  Grace went on to say that she had never seen a man like her husband change; once the pattern was set, it was set.  Well, this really struck a chord with me since I’m in a similar marriage.  My husband hasn’t worked at any steady job since we married three years ago.  He has a lot of potential, but never seems to make good on his plans or promises.  I love him, but feel pretty frustrated and worried about our life together.

Now I’ve had a dream with Grace in it.  I was with a group of people who insisted that I “read” the future in a crystal ball.  I didn’t want to, but after a lot of persuasion, I gave in.  I sat with a young girl who said she didn’t believe in crystal balls.  I demanded that the lights be dimmed and the loud music turned down.  My friend Grace sat right in front of me.  I was supposed to read for her.  I wanted Grace to sit still and cover up, but she refused.  At that, I got mad and stood up, saying, “Forget it!  I won’t ‘see’ for you if you won’t cooperate!”

Please help me understand this dream!

Signed,

Reluctant Crystal Ball Reader

 

Dear Reluctant Reader,

Robert Gongloff, past President of the International Association for the Study ofDreams, offers an effective strategy for getting to the heart of a dream:  Restate the dream’s action in terms other than those used in the dream.  For example, in your dream, we might restate your reluctance to read the future in the crystal ball as “Someone doesn’t want to see what’s in front of her.” 

To repeat the strategy with other elements of your dream:  You want the lights dimmed as “Someone prefers to be in the dark.”  You must have the music turned down as “Someone doesn’t want to face the music.”  You insist that Grace cover up as “Someone wants to obscure what’s right in front of her.”

In your dream, Grace serves as the crystal ball you don’t want to “read.”  You seem  to deny the future that sits there in the form of your friend who had 29 years of an unsatisfactory arrangement - an arrangement uncomfortably like your own.

You sit with a young girl who doesn’t believe, you insist on darkness and refuse to face the music playing so loudly.  All these actions add up to denial of the obvious, Dear Dreamer.  It’s possible to delay acknowledging what you clearly know on a subconscious level.  But you cannot avoid the inevitable.  You cannot unlearn what your heart, and your dream, are telling you!

Sweet Dreams to You!

SMYD

sendmeyourdreams@mail.com

Get rid of that rat!

Our Dreamer Writes:

Dear SMYD,

I can't remember not making images.  As a child, I read voraciously, but found it easier to express myself through drawing and painting than by writing.  When I sketch and paint, I feel at "home."  Painting connects me with myself. 

Yet, throughout my life, I’ve put off this powerful desire to paint in favor of pleasing others and following instead what they said would be good for me, or what I “should” do.  As I gracefully age, I realize it is essential to embrace what is mine to do.  And, I'm clear now that creating art is mine to do.  I think I’m ready for a big change – to do what I’ve always wanted to do – be an artist!

I rarely remember my dreams, so why, when I’m teetering on the brink of an important life event, would I have this dream about a rat, the one creature I have always abhorred!  Rats just gross me out and give me the shivers. 

In my dream I’m in a basement room and I see a rat there, looking at me.  But instead of shrieking or running as I’ve done in the past, I do the unimaginable - I pick him up and toss him out the window!  It was so much easier than I thought it would be!  He was gone out the window and I did it!  I was very proud and happy with myself for doing it!

Signed,

An Artist with a Rat

 

Dear Artist,

You will appreciate that our dreams speak to us in ways similar to the way art speaks to us – through metaphors, puns and plays on words!  So, on one level your dream suggests you’ve rid yourself of a nasty companion.  You used to be timid and would run from him, but no more.  Hooray.  But that explanation alone is unsatisfactory.

To get to a deeper understanding of your dream, brainstorm the ways to think of a rat beyond his status as a disgusting and scary rodent (although that is a starting point).  But, he’s not just an unwelcome houseguest!  Given the context you offered, consider the metaphor of a rat as one who betrays another.  In your waking life, you tell us you have betrayed your own true self by setting that artistic self aside and sublimating your deepest desire.  You’ve been a rat to yourself!

Now, you say you “think” you’re ready to make a life change and go for your goals.  On any such journey of transformation, we each must face our internal rats.  Happily, in thinking about life changes and wanting to pursue your dream of being an artist, your dream suggests that you recognize that part of yourself that can be a rat...that can betray you and hold you back.  When you take the rat and toss it, you felt good, strong, empowered!  Good for you Dear Dreamer!  It speaks to how you will feel when you're true to yourself!

Sweet Dreams to You!

SMYD

sendmeyourdreams@mail.com

Do You Really Want to Unearth that Whale?

Our Dreamer Writes:

Dear SMYD,

Last night I had one of the most vivid dreams in a long time:

It was a day of celebration, where everyone took a boat to the beach and went water skiing.  I was waiting to go with my ex-boyfriend.  I saw a family with a shiny turquoise metallic boat.  The mother asked if we would like to join her.  I thought that we would have liked a boat of our own but all the other boats were taken.  

My ex showed up and by that time sun started to go down.  We got to the beach and I said to my ex that I didn’t want to go skiing because I was scared of the water at night.  He laughed and said it was ok.  We began to kiss in the water and as the waves crashed over us we were laughing because he now knew why I was scared.  

This part seems most important:  We get out of the water and head up to the beach where there is a big sand dune and many people on the beach with bright lights overlooking the beach.  We were told by someone that a giant whale has been buried and everyone needs to find it.  Everyone started to look at that dune, but we were looking out over the water thinking the whale was buried out there.  My best friend comes up to us and I wave to him with a big smile on my face and I realize I am naked.  My ex and I walk to another beach to find the whale.  After this I wake up.

Signed,

Finding a Whale with My Ex-Boyfriend

 

Dear Whale Finder,

Your dream could be about you and your ex-boyfriend, but just as likely, he serves as a metaphor for a state of mind or set of circumstances you may return to, even though it scares you.  Think about what kind of person he is, or how he lives his life.  Is that something that you find yourself drawn to?

You'd like to do things your way – have your own boat - but must accept someone else's system or rules if you go forward in the new direction.  You’re experiencing fear of the waves (of emotion) and also fear of the balancing act that the new/old relationship or circumstance will require.

Your search for the buried whale speaks to a possible desire to find a hidden life, or a hidden meaning in life.  It's significant that you choose to look in places other than those indicated by the dune (looks like a buried whale right in front of you!), by the people who tell you it's there to be dug up, and even your best friend's advice. 

Your nakedness may show that your best friend (your true self) sees through any facade you throw up to cover your thoughts/feelings/actions.  Now think, Dear Dreamer, are you looking far away for what’s right in front of you?

Sweet Dreams to You!

SMYD

sendmeyourdreams@mail.com