Biker Mamma's Dilemma

Our Dreamer Writes:

Dear SMYD,

I’ve been in a relationship with “Bob” for over a year now.  It seems pretty lopsided to me.  He says he likes things the way they are, and claims not to understand my impatience with him.  This “discussion” goes around and around, and we never really get anywhere. 

Then last night I dreamed that I was riding a Harley Davidson Sportster and Bob was on the back.  He wanted me to stop at a convenience store so he could buy a newspaper.  Bob goes in, buys a paper, comes back out and gets on the back of the bike again.  I try to get the bike started so we can get back out on the road, but the bike has a “kill switch” that has to be deactivated every time you turn the engine off and want to restart it.  Also, there’s a gas hose on the handlebars that is pouring gasoline out of the bike and onto the pavement around us. 

And on top of all that, Bob just sits there with his feet on the buddy pegs and the paper under his arm!  His weight makes the bike awkward and hard to balance.  Then, the gas on the ground ignites and I have to wobble the bike away to avoid the potential disaster.  The dream ends as I’m frantically maneuvering from place to place to get away from each new fire.

Signed,

Biker Mamma in My Dreams

 

Dear Biker Mamma,

Your dream presents a graphic and emotional situation to illustrate your state of mind concerning your relationship with Bob.  In it, you are the driver, the one who wants to get going, and in fact is moving along.  You have a sporty and powerful motorcycle for your road trip and have taken on Bob as a passenger, a role he seems quite comfortable with.

You describe your relationship as lopsided and indeed, your dream shows the balance of the motorcycle is thrown off by his seemingly oblivious, unconcerned position.  He appears to be content just to be a “buddy,” without doing his part to steady the bike and get you both safely on the road.

When Bob says he wants the news, you oblige by stopping for his convenience.  But once he has it laid out for him in the newspaper, he pays it no real attention.  He merely tucks it under his arm and settles back into a passive role.  This is not only not helpful, it’s potentially dangerous to your progress.  You can’t get going and, just as in your waking life, he’s disengaged, not understanding your sense of urgency.

With all your energy pouring out onto the ground and igniting into those frustrating “discussions” you mention, it’s clear you’re doing the work and he’s content to go along for the ride.  I hope you’re not paying all the bills Dear Dreamer, because just like in your dream, it’s hardto get on with your life without shaking a freeloader.

Sweet Dreams to You!

SMYD