Dream Interpretation - Don't hang out with a nag

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When we travel with someone in our dreams, that person likely represents how we travel through our daily lives.  Think of that person’s prominent personality traits.  Chances are, they are yours too, for better or worse.  Today’s dreamer offers a clear example for our purposes.

Dear Carolyn,

“Mary” is the smartest person on my staff.  We have worked together over five years now.  I see her as working too hard at her job, to the point of endangering her mental health, her optimism and happiness.  She doesn’t have many friends on staff and seeks out my company.  She likes to help me think my actions through and dissects possible outcomes.  She can be helpful.

The down side of this is when she takes it to the extreme.  She over-analyzes my decisions and nit-picks my performance as the boss.  She can be pretty negative and pessimistic.

Now I’m dreaming about her!  In the dream, Mary was taking me to a Mensa meeting – the high IQ people.  It was a hassle to get there as we were at work and it was an extremely busy day.  When we got there, the meeting seemed to have no purpose.  The members were socializing, but not much more.  I felt frustrated at the waste of time.  I challenged them to define a purpose for their meeting. 

Then, instead of feeling rested, I woke up feeling frazzled, just like I do at work!

Signed,

Me and My Shadow

Dear Me!

Traveling companions in our dreams, those we move with from place to place, frequently are stand-ins for ourselves.  They show up as metaphors for facets of ourselves that come to the forefront in the circumstances of the dream.  These are also the circumstances of our waking lives.

In your dream Mary provides a representation of you:  the perfectionist, worrying and nagging part that goes everywhere with you.  You don’t use the term, but Mary is a complainer, too.  You may not complain externally, but check the way you talk to yourself, Dear Dreamer.  Such a persistent and negative internal dialogue runs the risk of ruining your good humor and happiness. 

A nice way of saying it is that Mary represents the part of you that is intelligent and always seeking improvement.  The blunt way is to say that you can be a pain in your own neck! 

The fact that the Mensa meeting had no purpose is telling.  If you put your brains to a purpose, you can accomplish great things.  But pointless analysis and worry is worse than pointless.  It’s self-destructive.  Your dream suggests that by keeping company with a ‘Mary state of mind,’ you run the risk of endangering your own mental health, optimism and happiness.

Consider limiting the time you give Mary in waking life.  It may be social for her as she appreciates your intelligence and has few other friends in the workplace.  And you must also limit the time you give to that critical voice in your head.  You’re smart, but you’re wasting time spent on criticism without a purpose.

Sweet Dreams to You!

Dream interpretation - Do it like Joan Baez did

Famous people who appear in our dreams may represent an ideal that we aspire to in our waking lives.  Look for the salient qualities of that celebrity with an understanding that those may be what you strive for in yourself.  This can open a window into your dream’s meaning.  Today’s dreamer offers an example in which an icon seems to be taunting her about the strength of her convictions.

Dear Carolyn,

Years ago I took a lot of flak for some statements I made at work.  My ideas were out of the mainstream and challenged the comfort of those (including my superiors) who followed the time worn traditions there.  Ultimately, I lost my job over it.  I went on to publish a book that included my controversial views.  It was well-received in my arena and important people told me to speak out to a wider audience, but the exigencies of life and the sting of being ‘let go’ held me back.

I associate that time in my life with Joan Baez and her music.  I always admired her for the strength of her voice, her integrity and her bravery in the causes she supported. 

Now I have been thinking about publishing again.  I still have passion behind my views, but I find that I am considering material that might be less controversial. 

So my last dream of the morning has me buying a book from Joan Baez.  She asks to see some of my writing.  After seeing several samples, she says I am not a threat to her, so I should go ahead and publish my work. It felt odd.

I woke up thinking, hmmm.  Not sure if this is a sign to publish again or not.

Signed,

Fan of Joan Baez

Dear Fan,

You say that you admire Joan Baez for her voice, her integrity and her bravery.  For you, she represents that part of yourself that will speak her truth without fear of the controversy it might cause. 

In your dream, when she – that brave part of yourself – looks over the material you are thinking of publishing, she almost scoffs at it by saying, “This is no threat to me; go ahead and publish.”  You are essentially dismissed, free to publish the less controversial material without taking on her role of outspoken advocate.

In effect, she tells you that you will be safe and protected from the sting of your last experience of speaking out.  But will a watered-down version of your vision satisfy your need to speak the truth as she did?  After all, her strong voice is one of the things you hold in high regard.

There is no shame in taking the safer route, Dear Dreamer.  However, you must weigh the consequences to your own integrity.  If you publish a meeker version of your truth, what is the effect on you?  Will you be satisfied with a book that shrinks from its mission and challenges no one?

Sweet Dreams to You!

Dream Interpretation - Problem solving is a dream

Dearest Dreamers,

In our waking lives, we sometimes find ourselves slogging away, working through the ups, downs and often tricky ground of personalities, politics and problems.  We may feel as though we are making headway, only to discover that we’ve worked our way around a circle and made no progress at all.

Our Dreaming Selves offer us a higher perspective, almost as though that part of ourselves sees the lay of the land around us from a helicopter’s vantage point.  Using the beautiful language of metaphor, our dreams sum up confounding situations and direct us to openings and inroads we simply cannot see from ground level.

People from all walks of life have relied upon their dreams when in need of inspiration for solving problems with inventions, innovations or when in need of creative impetus.  Movie makers, songwriters, visual artists and scientists are among the most notable:

John Lennon and Paul McCartney attribute some of their iconic music and song lyrics to the stuff of their dreams.  These include McCartney’s “Yesterday,” the most covered song in music history and Lennon’s “#9 Dream.”  Keith Richards tells of dreaming the riff to the Rolling Stones’ “(I Can’t Get No) Satisfaction.”

Surrealist painter Salvador Dali called many of his works "hand-painted dream photographs." With images of melting clocks in his "Persistence of Memory," Dali illustrates his idea that our concept of time becomes arbitrary when we're in a dream state.

Movie maker Richard Linklater of “Boyhood” fame credits his dreams for a previous, well-received animated feature “Waking Life.”  And Director Christopher Nolan took the inspiration for his 2010 psychological thriller “Inception” from his own lucid dreams.  

Some of our most famous and acclaimed authors, including Maurice Sendak, perhaps best known for his children’s book Where the Wild Things Are and SueGrafton of the alphabet mystery series A Is for Alibi, B Is for Burglar, C Is for Corpse…H Is for Homicide speak about their dreams’ influence on their work.

Nobel laureate James Watson reported stumbling upon the double helix image for the DNA chain through his dream of a spiral staircase.

Our dreams are not only beautiful and lyrical, but their practical use for problem solving and creative generation of solutions ranges across art, science and literature.  It doesn’t take a giant leap of faith to know that productive and accomplished people across all endeavors can and do employ their dreams, tapping depths of creativity and insight into their work.

Why not you, Dear Dreamer?  No doubt you have faced or are facing a challenge in your life.  Consider that your Dreaming Self can be helpful in giving you perspective on the problem.  As Stephen King says, a dream may offer an angle on the issue that you just cannot see without it!

If these talented and noteworthy persons rely on their dreams for insights and assistance, we too can add them to our toolbox of methods for working resourcefully on the perplexing problems of our daily lives.

Sweet Dreams to You!

Dream Interpretation - The strength is within you

Frequently the characters in our dreams will represent parts of ourselves that we do not recognize in waking life.  Sometimes this will point out bad habits to which we are blind.  Or, as in the case today, that other person shows the Dreamer her strong dependable self whom she forgets she knows.

Dear Carolyn,

Let’s say my name is Nancy.  I happen to have a good friend whose name is also Nancy.  She is someone I admire for her intelligence and calm balanced approach to life.

In my dream I am with Nancy.  We are on ramp – a long slanting stone path that leads into the ocean.  We are seated with our legs extended and arms propped up like beach chairs.  We look towards the ocean and the sunset and wait for a giant wave to crash over us.  It is scary.

A wave comes, but by the time it reaches us it is diminished.  It washes up harmlessly.  We are wet but unhurt and unmoved.  I tell Nancy that I was afraid I would be washed out into the ocean.  We can see that some people were carried away.  They're trailing out towards the sun but seem to be unharmed.

Nancy tells me she wasn't afraid.  She would've enjoyed being washed to sea!  We turn and face the water again and another wave comes just like the last one.  But then a big wave comes.  But we are not washed away even though the wave is much bigger and covers us.

There are natives on the beach performing an ancient ritual for the waves and the sun.  They stand in rows facing the sun and the water with arms extended, covered with feathers, headdresses and face paint.

I can see that they are unafraid and accept what comes.  They will deal with whatever comes and life will go on.  A woman there, a tourist, seems to treat the display as though it is apart from her or not real.  I know she is wrong.  Their ritual is meaningful.  It is part of life.

Signed,

Scared of the Waves

Dear Scared,

You do not offer background or waking life details, but your dream suggests that you are anticipating troubles.  Perhaps because you and Nancy, the other you, are looking toward the sunset, the things you worry about or dread are related to the sunset of your life.  In any case, your dream offers repeated assurances that you have the wherewithal to deal with whatever is coming your way.

Those qualities you admire in your friend – no coincidence your dreaming self chose her – are within you and will sustain you.  Many times, like the diminished waves, what comes will be less threatening than you expected.  

You’re not a tourist in this territory, Dear Dreamer.  Even those other, bigger waves, powerful life events, leave you safe on land.  Like the natives in their ritual acknowledgement of the cycles of life, you must only accept what comes and with the strength of Nancy, you will survive.

Sweet Dreams to You!

Dream Interpretation - It's not about Joe; It's about you

Most dreams have layers of meaning.  Sometimes we seize on the literal or superficial elements of our dreams, avoiding the implications for ourselves.  Today’s dreamer offers an example of a dream that presents insights into a friend which are also applicable in his own life.

Dear Carolyn,

I dreamed about “Joe,” an older man I’ve been friends with since I was a teenager.  Joe has lived his life full of regret.  He is always telling me about things he wished he’d done or had not done.  

Sometimes it’s tiring and I ask myself why I have stayed friends with such a negative person all these years because I have no regrets.  Well, to be totally honest, I guess you could say I am disappointed or frustrated with myself.  I often think about what I should be doing or accomplishing.  But only in my head.  I don’t go around whining out loud!

In this dream I see Joe.  He has dyed his hair blonde as it used to be when he was young.  He looks younger and alert and healthy and frisky.  He has been called to testify in a trial or hearing of some sort.  The parties involved found him via a different name ~ Sammy Jankis ~ the name of a character in “Memento,” a weird movie about short-term memory loss.  Joe had forgotten that this was his name.  Because of this new information from the trial, Joe will inherit a large sum of money. 

When I wake I have the thought that he spent a long time in his life not appreciating the inheritance he already had, the one that was coming to him.

Signed,

No Regrets

Dear Regrets,

Your dream has not come to tell you what you already know about Joe.  Rather it uses Joe as an example for you.  You say you are not like him, but if your internal dialogue is one of constantly reviewing your disappointments and frustrations, that is a form of regret.  You are more like Joe than you realize. 

The trial in your dream denotes a formal review and this is called for in your case.  Take a hard look and you likely will discover that you also have short-term memory loss!  Are there recent achievements or contributions you’ve made for which you give yourself no credit?

Your dream comes as a reminder that like Joe, you have forgotten your earlier self.  When you were younger, most likely you had an optimistic and forward thinking outlook, rather than the unhappy and judgmental one that dominates your self-talk.

Like Joe, you have left behind the inheritance that has been yours all along, a happier outlook with brighter prospects.  Consider focusing some time recognizing those things you have accomplished over the years at work and at home.  Start a gratitude journal to keep yourself mindful of the many positive aspects of your life.

Check yourself, Dear Dreamer!  You may be the one bringing yourself down!

Sweet Dreams to You!