Champagne may be the perfect metaphor for a new relationship: Just like love, it can burst forth on the
happiest of occasions. It is bubbly and
exciting by its very nature. But it can
lose its sparkle quickly too. What’s a
lonely man to do?
Dear SMYD,
It seems that the men in my family have always had
bad luck with women. My dad and his
brothers all were married and divorced at least once! I’ve probably gotten most of my attitudes
toward women and marriage from them. It
hasn’t helped me much. I’ve been
divorced once and had three other long-term but doomed relationships with
women!
But I think I’d be
happier if I were married, or at least in a committed relationship, so I am
pretty excited about a new woman that my friend introduced me to. She seems down-to-earth and is fun to be
around. She has a great sense of humor
and she is easy on the eyes. But with my
history, I can’t have much hope for our future!
Here’s my dream:
My uncle hands me a very large bottle of Chanel No. 5 cologne. I really wanted it. When I started to open the bottle, I saw that
it was effervescent – bubbly like champagne.
I opened it a little, then recapped it quickly to keep it from gushing
out or going flat. I wanted to splash it
on but I was afraid to have it open long enough to even get the fragrance!
My sister thinks this dream is about my new
girlfriend. What do you think?
Signed,
Afraid of Cologne!?
Dear Afraid,
Your sister may be on to something. Based on the background you included, one
divorce and three failed long-term relationships, the new woman in your life
might be considered No. 5. But she comes
to you from your uncle’s point of view, that women are hard to understand and
harder to live with. So this new
opportunity may be fresh and different, but it is filtered through not just
your negative experiences, but also those of your family members and their
unpleasant history.
And, even though you truly want to enjoy the
fragrance, or to celebrate with some bubbly, you approach the prospect timidly,
with skepticism and hesitance. You seem
to be saying, “What if my emotions overflow and I wind up getting hurt
again? What if the relationship loses
its thrill and goes flat?”
Those are the risks you take, Dear Dreamer, any time
you take a chance on love. You may have
better odds this time given your reflective state of mind and strong desire to
try again. Instead of being ruled by
your past, and assuming this new relationship is doomed like the others, why
not learn from them? You have gained
some insights about women and about yourself.
As your dream suggests, take a little at a time, don’t let your emotions
surge too far in front. Let your better
self emerge. Sip and enjoy.
Sweet Dreams to You!
SMYD
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