Too Much Work Makes an Unhappy Girl

Our Dreamer Writes:

Dear SMYD,

I dreamed about Mary, a woman who works with me in a stressful environment.  Mary is intelligent and always seeking improvement; that’s the nice way of saying it.  The blunt way is that she can be a pain in the neck! 

I work hard and want things done right, but Mary works too hard!  She stays up until midnight and worries over the tiniest details that don’t matter to anyone else.  She pushes herself to the point of endangering her physical and mental health, her good humor and happiness.  Then she complains!  At least I keep my frustration to myself.

In my dream Mary was taking me to a Mensa meeting.  It was difficult to get there since we were at work, and very busy.  When we got to the meeting, it seemed to have no purpose!  The members were milling around and socializing, but not much more.  I felt frustrated at the waste of time.  I challenged them to define a purpose for their meeting and get moving on something worthwhile.  They were surprised at me and said I should be patient.

Signed,

No Time to Waste

Dear No Time,

It seems your dreaming self has chosen Mary to show you a bit of yourself.  Perhaps you are more like her than you’d like to acknowledge.  She is a perfectionist, and a worrier, stewing over details and devoting too much time to them, to her own detriment.  Consider your description of yourself – a hard worker who wants things done right.  Be honest with yourself; does this really mean done your way?

You don’t complain externally, but you admit complaining internally.  This type of keeping it all in may put you at greater risk of ruining your own health, good humor and happiness.  Suffering silently about a cause only you subscribe to is worse than pointless.  It’s self-destructive. 

You say Mary can be a pain in the neck.  A long-suffering martyr can also be difficult to work with.  You believe that keeping your complaints to yourself is the same as presenting a cheerful front.  But, chances are excellent that those negative thoughts show themselves in your attitude or actions toward those around you. 

Since you and Mary go together to a Mensa meeting, where people of the highest intelligence gather, the suggestion is that you, like Mary, are intelligent and always seeking improvement.  But in that meeting, when you pressure the members to find a purpose and get to it, they respond to you with a call for patience.  When people at the Mensa meeting weren’t doing what you thought they should be doing, you became impatient, even calling it a waste of time to relax.  Your dream suggests you fail to see that intelligent people also take time to relax, socialize and enjoy themselves.  They understand the necessity of “down time” and value it as highly as work. 

Keep your high standards, but don’t work yourself into an unhappy, unhealthy corner, Dear Dreamer.

Sweet Dreams to You!

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