War Zone in Mom's Back Yard

Our Dreamer Writes:

Dear SMYD,  

Having my mother and a war in the same dream doesn't surprise me.  My mom can be difficult!  But I am peace-loving woman who does not watch violent television or films.  I even turn away from commercials with violence.   

I dreamed about going to visit my mother's home.  My mother did not tell me that some important people would be visiting.  Guests showed up without notice. 

In the dream I took the dog for a walk in the backyard.  The entire yard had become a violent battlefield.  One man's head had been cut off.  Someone I know stood up to her ankles in earth-orange mud and was beating up another man.  

Why would I have such a violent dream as this one? 

Signed,

Startled by the War Zone 

Dear Startled,

Sometimes our Dreaming Selves choose bizarre or violent images to shake us up and get our attention, especially if there’s an issue we’re avoiding.  Since your dream has these characteristics, I suspect you avoid confronting the key issues with your mother.

In your dream, you go to visit your mother whom you say can be difficult.  In spite of this, you don’t expect the “important people” who show up.  These people could represent the important issues that have been unaddressed in your relationship.  You didn’t expect to have to deal with the important issues between your mom and yourself.  So you avoid them by taking the dog for a walk outside instead of staying in the house with them and your mom. 

Perhaps you’re accustomed to faking it in the living room, avoiding the unpleasantness in public.  But the back yard tells the real story:  Behind the scenes, it’s a war zone!  Because it’s your mom’s back yard, the implication is that these people represent issues in her/your history (behind her house) that are out of sight, but still influential.

It is important to think more about the man whose head was cut off.  Who is he?  Who does he remind you of?  As soon as you figure out who he is, you’ll be able to identify the issue he stands for.  Without his head, he has no direction, no ability to think or speak.  What he would say may be so painful that your mom (and maybe you, too) chose to cut him off before he speaks.

Who is that woman wading in the blood, er mud?  You say it’s someone you know.  Explain her to me ~ what is she like?  Does she listen to others and argue with reason and logic?  Or does she fight dirty?  How about you and your mom…do you fight fair? 

The man this woman is beating ~ does he deserve to be beaten?  Does he fight back?  Why is he losing the battle?

These are tough questions, Dear Dreamer.  The key to understanding this dream, your mom, and your difficult relationship with her lies in teasing out the metaphors in that back yard battle.

Sweeter Dreams to You, Dear Dreamer!

SMYD

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