Dream Interpretation - Gruesome dreams serve a purpose

Our dreams may present us with shocking and gruesome images to shake us out of our passive thinking.  Today’s dreamer cannot ignore the ugly truth of her feelings about the important differences between her boyfriend and herself.

Dear Carolyn,

My boyfriend and I are planning on getting anapartment together that I'm not really too excited about.  For one thing, I'm more conservative on the whole, but he just wants to spend it all as soon as he gets it.

We always argue; it's literally a love/hate relationship.  Whenever I did have this dream I felt terrible.  We may fight and all, but I don't wish any harm on him.

I was basically kicking it with this guy with an unfamiliar face; we were in my bed sitting.  He was on his computer while I was watching him.  Eventually we were arguing about money.  I ended up killing him by chopping his head off (to take his money).

When his head fell, his face turned into my boyfriend.  I covered the face up and threw everything in the closet.  The eyes were still showing.  He woke back up from what I did and he was just looking at me.  He started talking about how could I do this.  Then I started to gouge out his eyes while he looked at me doing it!  I told him "I don't won't you to have a bad memory or to be bitter about women."  That was the final straw, my body finally let me wake up.  

The whole time I could not wake up!  Finishing a dream never happens, but this time it did.  What does that mean?  I literally woke up after I stared at him for a few seconds with his gouged eyes.  Please help me understand.  The whole time the dream didn't have anything to do with him but then unfamiliar face turned into him, why?  Why am I dreaming about murdering my boyfriend?  What does all of this mean? 

Signed,

Love/Hate

Dear Love/Hate

There is no need for you to worry about taking your dream literally ~ you're not going to kill your boyfriend!  But your dream does spring from the depth of anger you feel over the important, fundamental difference between you two.

With its graphic images, your dream suggests that you'd like to cut off your boyfriend's way of thinking (his head) and gouge out his way of looking at things (his eyes).  This is about the money you're arguing about in the dream and based on your conservative ways vs. his free spending ways.  You want to pretend everything is OK and hide your differences and your anger in the closet, but you cannot escape it!  It's there – a fact of life with him.

No wonder you're "not too excited" about getting an apartment with someone with whom you always argue Dear Dreamer.  Consider the life/situation you might be getting into!  It’s easier to do than to undo!

Sweet Dreams to You!

Dream Interpretation - Meds can interfere with sleep, dreams

Dear Carolyn,

I recently went on a strong medication to bring my high blood pressure back into the normal range.  Almost immediately, I began having a recurring, scary nightmare.  

Every night, I dream that I am being chased.  In the dream I am in a familiar area that is well-lit – it’s daytime – and does not seem threatening at all.  The path is well-maintained and the area around it is green and lined with flowers.  So it seems like it should be pleasant and non-threatening.  But I am being chased by something or someone I cannot see.  I know that I must escape or I will be killed.  That’s all there is to it.  It is life and death!  I never can see who or what is behind me.  All I ever see are my feet and legs as I run for my life! 

When I wake up from this terrifying dream, my heart is pounding and I am drenched in sweat.  Maybe I’ll get a drink of water or go to the bathroom, but when I fall back to sleep, the dream begins again and I am terrified.  It’s exhausting!

Afraid to Fall Asleep! 

Dear Afraid,

Your change in medication may be the culprit in this situation.  First of all, you find yourself in a familiar area that is attractive and well-maintained.  The path through this area may be analogous to the path of taking medication to treat high blood pressure:  It is a commonly traveled path that is familiar to most of us who are aware of well-known methods of treating this condition.  It is an attractive option for resolving the condition, just as the path in your dream seems to be an appealing choice.

But, to the contrary, you find yourself with your heart racing and sweat pouring off your body.  This is not the way it is supposed to work!  You should be safe and relaxed on this path.  Instead, you find the reverse.

You mentioned that the new meds are strong.  In conversation with your doctor, consider the possibility that they are too strong, or inappropriate for you in some other way.  The side effects may be altering your dream state/sleep cycle and contributing to the images of pursuit by an unknown but fearful threat.

That is a literal understanding of your dream’s material.  Given your medical condition, your first and mandatory step is to consult your doctor and adjust or change your medication if that is warranted.  Then we can talk about the possible metaphorical meanings of such dreams as yours, Dear Dreamer. 

Sweet Dreams to You!

Nightmares and night terrors – two different things

  

About 6% of children experience night terrors.  Their symptoms are similar to those described below.  Almost all children outgrow the propensity by adolescence.  When adults have night terrors, it’s considered to be a sleep disorder and a very unpleasant one at that.

Dear SMYD,

My husband has the worst nightmares of anyone I’ve ever heard of.  He wakes up screaming!  Once our neighbors even heard him it was so loud!

He doesn’t seem to have any trouble falling asleep, but several times a month he bolts upright in the bed, sweating and his heart is racing.  Mostly he yells, “NO!  No!”  But other times I can’t understand what he’s saying.  It’s scary to me!

Sometimes he thrashes around like he’s running in his sleep.  I’ve had to duck to keep from getting hit more than once.  One time he stood up on the edge of the bed and I thought he was going to run out of the room.

When this happens, it takes a while for him to even recognize me.  He won’t talk to me or answer my questions.  No matter how hard I try to tell him everything’s going to be OK, he’s inconsolable. 

Then he kind of snaps out of it and says he doesn’t remember anything except trying to get away from something or someone who was going to kill him. 

We’re both afraid to fall asleep!  What should we do?

Signed,

Afraid to Sleep with My Husband!

Dear Afraid,

You have described the classic symptoms not of nightmares, but ‘night terrors.’

Many parents have rushed to their child’s bedside in the dark of night after hearing the screams of night terrors.  Most children will fall back to sleep after being assured that mom or dad is close by to protect them.  Next morning, most kids have no recall of the events of the night before.  Thank goodness, young ones typically outgrow the night terrors.

Only 1 to 3% of adults experience night terrors.  In adults they are considered a sleep disorder.  They do not occur during REM (Rapid Eye Movement) sleep associated with the dream state where a ‘normal’ nightmare might occur.  Just as you’ve described, the details of what was terrorizing the sleeper are rarely recalled.  In more extreme cases, sleep walking and more dangerous activities have been reported – using kitchen appliances, leaving the house and even driving a car!

Your husband might try a before-bed snack as some research indicates that those experiencing night terrors may be hypoglycemic.  It’s uncertain how low blood sugar might be contributing to the terrors, but it’s worth trying as the correlation is documented. 

Also, some have experienced success in breaking the cycle of night terrors by waking themselves up a few minutes before they typically fall victim to the distressful event.  So, if he usually starts screaming at 2AM, set the alarm for 1:45, Dear Dreamer. 

If the night terrors continue, it’s time to visit the doctor.  Some medications have been effective in treating this disorder.

Sweet Dreams to You!

SMYD

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