Many of us have dreams about sexual encounters that
we would never imagine, or even want, in our waking lives. So where do these dreams come from and what
do they mean? The people, setting,
relationships, appropriateness and emotions of such dreams are all clues.
Dear SMYD,
I am a more than a little embarrassed to send this
dream to you, but I really want to know what it is about:
I dreamed I was trying to make love to my supervisorat work! Every time I had him in my arms
or near a bed, we would be interrupted or he was distracted or even
disappeared. The dream was upsetting and
frustrating to experience.
When I woke up, I felt confused because as much as I
admire and respect this man, it has never occurred to me to have a sexual
relationship with him. For one thing, we’re
both married to other people. But even
if we weren’t, he’s 30 years older than I am!
He is patient and kind, full of wisdom and humor – all things I
admire. But I am not attracted to him in
“that way.”
If I think of this dream at work, I can barely look
my boss in the eye!
Signed,
Embarrassed by My Own Dream
Dear Embarrassed,
A good place to start with your dream will be to
recognize your supervisor not as himself but as a representative of the
qualities you admire in him and want for yourself. That might help you move past the
embarrassment! You mention several
qualities you respect and admire in your boss – kindness, patience, wisdom and
humor. Are these qualities that you find
yourself lacking in some cases, at work or at home?
From there, think of the purpose or function of
actions or objects in your dreams. Most
notably, making love: Among other
things, the act of love-making satisfies a yearning to integrate or become one
with someone, or as in your dream, with the things that someone
represents. You want to become one with the qualities he
represents.
In your dream, you and your boss are interrupted or
distracted; he even disappears on occasion.
This could be indicative of your failed efforts to show patience or
kindness when it is most needed. Where
in your life do you find yourself paying only superficial attention, or losing
your patience with those around you?
Your dream includes your boss, but is it set at work
or at home? The setting of your dream
can be key in clarifying where you need to / hope to improve.
Maybe you allow stress or the details of less important things to draw your attention away from key opportunities to be
gentle with those you love. Perhaps you’re
not truly “present” for those around you, allowing distractions from elsewhere
to intrude – too much time at work or too little recognition of the needs of
your family.
Be honest with yourself, Dear Dreamer. Your dream brings you a persistent prompting
to improve your relationships.
Sweet Dreams to You!
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