Fasten your seatbelt! This dream promises a bumpy ride!

When you’re going through hell, keep going.  That maxim may be the implication of today’s dream in which the dreamer passes through an extremely unpleasant scene:

Dear SMYD,

I dreamed that I was riding a bicycle through the scene of a terrible accident.  A small black car had crashed and the occupant was torn limb from limb.  It was gruesome and bloody and I was weaving in and out.  I think the person had been wearing black leather. 

I saw myself and the scene from overhead, from a helicopter’s view more than from the ground.  Somehow I knew I was looking down on the contents of my own dream. 

Emergency responders told me I shouldn’t be traveling through the area, but I was too far in to turn around.  Past the point of no return.  I had crossed the yellow tape and traveled into the scene without recognizing it for what it was, so I just kept going.  Then, when I got to the other side, I knew I would be OK. 

Then, on the other side of the accident, I was driving my car and an older man in a pickup truck came careening toward me.  His head was nodding forward and jerking upward, as though he was trying to wake himself up.  I guess we crashed because next we were in a field with both vehicles damaged and steaming and a fence torn out.  But both of us were going to be fine. 

Then, the old man started to blame me for the collision.  I said, “Look old man, this was not my fault.  You crashed into me.  Look at all this damage on my side of the road.  You were falling asleep at the wheel.”  Someone there, another man, nodded his head in agreement. 

This dream has me scared!  What could it be about?

Signed,

Witness and Victim at the Scene of Two Accidents

 

Dear Witness,

Your dream has the qualities of lucidity.  That is the experience of dreaming while also being aware that you’re dreaming.  Such dreams offer us immediate perspective along with powerful opportunities for self-assessment and change.

In the first part of your dream, you pass through a circumstance that would tear some people apart, but you emerge unharmed.  You must hold that thought, Dear Dreamer, for you may already have blundered into the middle of something with the potential for being extremely emotional and devastating that you don’t yet recognize.  

Once the dust is settling, you are wrongly accused of being at fault in the situation.  But you respond calmly and with a level head.  That is quite impressive since you may sustain as much trauma as anyone.  Beware of the person who crosses boundaries (breaks down fences).  He will try to blame his irresponsible behavior on you!

But of course, as the emergency responders told you, if you’d steered clear to begin with, the issue and the damage would be in someone else’s dream.

Sweet Dreams to You!

My ex-wife keeps showing up in my dreams!

No need to feel guilty if you’re dreaming of an old flame.  Chances are she appears in your dream, not as herself, but as a metaphor for an emotion or circumstance you have in your life today.  Consider today’s example from a man whose ex-wife keeps showing up at night:

Dear SMYD,

I feel very uncomfortable when I have dreams about my ex-wife.  Don’t get me wrong.  She was a lot of fun and we had a good marriage – right up until it went very bad.  All I can say is that she changed from sunlight to darkness!  I was glad when it was over, and it did not end well.

Since then, I remarried and I am very happy.  My post-retirement “career” involves lots of travel and competition in regional, state and national events.  It’s a lot of laughs, but it’s also tiring to be “on” all the time, performing.  I love going, but more and more, at the end of each season I am very glad to get home and relax.

In my dream, my ex and I are together again.  I don’t remember too many details except that we are partying hard, just like in the old days.  But when I wake up, I have that bad old feeling like I did at the end of our marriage.  It just wasn’t fun anymore.

I love my wife and my life!  Why would I dream of my ex?

Signed,

Guilty

 

Dear Guilty,

It is possible that on some level, you’re still working through some old stuff from the confusing and emotional end to what had been a good marriage.  That would be a normal thing to do, and there’s no need to fight it, or to attach guilt to it.

Oftentimes though, our dreams work on multiple levels.  They may have some literal truth, as noted above, but it’s just as likely that your ex’s appearance is tied to current events that are parallel in emotion to the days when you were together with her.  What you learned and experienced then would apply now.

Think about your description of your post-retirement career:  You say it’s a lot of fun, the same way you describe the time you spent married to your ex.  But you also mention that the travel and the competition are tiring.  You can’t wait to get home and relax.  Seems that also could mirror the experience of the fun-times-gone-bad in your past relationship.  You might be experiencing shades of this change of emotion as you wind down and feel so glad to be home after all that frenzied activity.

Your dream offers an insight and suggests that your post-retirement career requires that you pace yourself, Dear Dreamer.  When you do decide to retire again, you want it to be with good old memories!  Otherwise, you might wind up at the end of the competitive season with that “bad old feeling” of burnout. 

Sweet Dreams to You!

SMYD

Dream shows how to escape a firestorm

Our dreams often show us a situation from our waking lives that we recognize, but they rarely state the obvious without offering some direction as well.  Be cautious about dismissing your dreams as a simple rehash of the day’s thoughts without following them through to the end.  Here’s an example:

Dear SMYD,

I took a part time job not long ago, but instead of being my salvation, it’s becoming a burden.  The commute is taxing, there’s a lot more work piled on at every turn and one of my coworkers is pretty snarky.

Instead of following a stressful week at work with some much-needed relaxation, I added insult to injury by spending my time researching the air quality in my hometown.  It was upsetting to learn that it’s pretty bad!

Then, in a dream I walked along the shoreline near my home with my golden retriever.  Without warning, an enormous flash fire swept along the waterway in an instant and engulfed me.  The clear sunny day turned into a firestorm the way fog sometimes forms quickly when the air temperature and moisture content are just so.  My dog ran around in circles to get my attention not unlike Lassie from the old television series.  I followed him as he ran uphill and together we narrowly escaped the flames.

The metaphor seems obvious.  My sleeping mind must have exaggerated the air quality reports and mixed them up with my work worries.  Neither the air nor my job is perfect, but neither is it so bad it's going to ignite into flames.  Still, the dream felt so scary and real.  

Can I stop having this kind of frightening dream by having more positive self-talk in my waking hours?

Yours truly,

Fighting fires in my sleep

 

Dear Firefighter,

You have a good handle on understanding your dream!  That flash of fire likely is a metaphor for the flash of emotions you’ve been feeling related to the job that, instead of providing relief for your circumstances, has become overwhelming.  You didn’t go in expecting that to happen.  On top of that, your sensitivity to your coworker’s negativity adds to your stress level and the emotion of your dream.

In your dream, your loyal retriever not only warns you of the danger but also leads you out of it; and that’s a key to getting the full benefit out of this dream.  Your idyllic walks with him along the shoreline embody the relaxation and unwinding you need.  Your dream first depicts how you’re feeling overwhelmed and frightened by work and the threatening atmosphere there created by your nasty coworker. And it goes on to show that only with relaxation and recuperation, those demand-free walks with your dog, can you escape those feelings.  Without that, you will have a narrow escape in an uphill battle. 

Your self-talk should be positive, as you suggest, and you must follow your dog!  After all, you break away from the fire together.  Don’t forgo your relaxation, Dear Dreamer!  Your gentle spirit requires it.

Sweet Dreams to You!

SMYD

Chasing youth

The things we seek in our dreams may reflect the things we yearn for in our waking lives.  Today’s dreamer offers a perfect example.

Dear SMYD,

In a dream I had a few days ago I was looking down at my own scalp from outside of my body as if I was examining the scalp of someone else.  My scalp had an enormous amount of light brown aging spots.  I was very uncomfortable with that.  (I currently have a few spots popping up as is to be expected as we get older.)

Then in my dream last night, I come across a baby deer and it is sitting still.  I reach for it and it doesn't feel threatened, as if it doesn't know that it should be afraid of me.  The fawn has now stood on all fours.  It is still unaware of my presence.  As I reach for it to pick it up I get a little nervous that I may startle it and it will run away and I won't be able to catch it.  My goal is to catch it and hold it close to me.  As I am looking at it, I can see light brown spots on it.  It seems to be a bit bloated and not as thin as regular baby deer.

I can see the outline and shape of its young body.  Its torso seems to be out of proportion to the head and legs.  The torso is large, almost swollen or bloated.  It seems odd to me and makes it a bit awkward as I pick it up.  Its extra weight seems to throw it off its center of gravity and as I lift it I have to adjust my own center of gravity so I don't lose my balance.  As I hold it close to me it feels awkward.  The experience of holding it is not like how I imagined it would be.  There is incongruence with what my mind perceived the experience would be like and what my body is actually experiencing.

Signed,

Trying to Catch a Fawn

 

Dear Fawn,

Both your dreams acknowledge your surprise along with some anxiety and discomfort as you recognize signs of aging in yourself.  When you have some perspective in the first dream, you must acknowledge the “age spots,” but they make you uncomfortable. 

In the second dream, the fawn, a symbol of your youth and innocence, is unaware of the older you.  You want to capture it and hold it close to you, but when you do catch it, you have that incongruent feeling: things aren't what you expected them to be.  You have to make adjustments to balance out the physical changes you encounter as you’re aging.  Your actual experiences are not what you expected and it throws you off. 

But not to worry, Dear Dreamer, it’s only the fawn’s body that’s out of proportion to its head.  Just like you, it thinks and feels young, but must adjust to the changes in its body!

Sweet Dreams to You!

SMYD