Call that Bully's Bluff!

Our Dreamer Writes:

Dear SMYD,

I’m not the kind of guy who looks for trouble.  In our family, my brother was the one who seemed to enjoy starting things – or finishing them!  So this dream seems strange to me.  The guy with the squirt gun kind of looks like my brother, but then, I’m the one with blonde hair, not him.  Anyway, here it is:

In my dream I was standing in line to go into a building.  Don’t recognize the building or know the occasion.  Ahead of me in line, close to the front, is a young man.  He’s tall, wearing a yellow shirt, and has crew cut hair.  Every so often, he turns around with a plastic squirt gun in his hand.  He points it at the forehead of a little blonde-haired boy who’s in front of me in the line.  Each time, the little boy is terrified.  He crumples into tears.  The big guy then tosses the gun away and turns back with a fake smile.  “See?  No one was really in danger!”  He keeps doing this, scaring the little boy every time.

Finally, when I see that he’s about to do it again, I step up and challenge him.  He shows me that the gun is plastic and filled with water.  Then he turns and tosses the gun away, this time without pointing it at the little boy.  The little boy hugs my knees and clings to me while I pat his head, comforting him.

What in the world is that all about?

Signed,

Playing the Tough Guy

 

Dear Tough Guy,

Your dream suggests a family dynamic is in play while you and your brother “wait in line” for something.  Most likely, you will be able to identify what it is that you’re waiting for ~ could it be greater status in your family hierarchy?  Look for a long-standing emotion-laden situation that you feel has held you back.

You mention that your brother is one who stirs things up.  In your dream, it seems he’s doing just that:  stirring up old emotions, fears and doubts you might have felt as a child.  Embodied in the little blonde haired boy who clings to you when you finally decide to stand up to the fake threat is the core of what’s keeping you in line now.  Also, consider the play on words:  Does someone seem to be bullying you to “keep you in line”?  What would happen if you broke ranks, spoke your mind, exposed the fake threat?

You don’t mention how you felt when you saw the threat for what is was - a bluff.  But when you take action in your dream, you become the hero and savior of that inner little boy.  Most times, standing up to a bully engenders feelings of release and empowerment.  Frequently others (like those in line with you) are hoping someone will step up.  Your dream suggests that you can be the one who does.

Sweet Dreams to You, Dear Dreamer!

SMYD

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Are You Becoming a Zombie?

Our Dreamer Writes:

Dear SMYD,

Since the loss of my husband, I live alone and spend my evenings watching TV.  But I don’t watch indiscriminately.  There are plenty of good programs to choose from nowadays!  I’m a big fan of “Walking Dead,” but it’s not the only TV show I watch.  Then when I had this dream, I began to wonder if I should change my viewing habits!  Tell me what you think.

In the first part of the dream I learn that my friend “Ellie” has died.  Many of our women friends are upset and worried.  One of them, “Missy,” who’s just as smart, skilled and funny as Ellie says, “What will we do without her?”  This surprises me a little.  I didn’t know she was that well regarded.  I think it’s sad that she’s gone, but we are strong enough to manage without her.

Then, Ellie and I are sitting together and she’s not dead.  But she’s explaining to me the first symptoms she noticed before she became a zombie!  Her toenail popped off.  We look down at her feet and see it happen.  This worries me, because I had a toenail pop off too!

Next someone is telling me to use a whistle to change my voice.  “No one will know it’s you,” they say.  This bothers me too.  Why would I want to change my voice?  Why would I not want to be recognized?  I don’t feel totally afraid, just a little, but I don’t like any of this!  Then I wake up.

Signed,

Am I Becoming a Zombie?

 

Dear Zombie,

It would be easy enough to start these comments with an admonition about becoming a zombie in front on your TV set!  That caution could be worth considering:  Take an objective look at the time you spend with your electronic pal.  Have you slipped into a passive habit unintentionally?

But your dream includes two friends so I’m encouraged to believe that the TV isn’t your only outlet, or at least, it hasn’t always been.  You have been an active part of a group of lively and stimulating women.  Perhaps you’ve become less engaged with them for some reason.  Your dream suggests that a part of you is puzzled and worried at your level of disengagement.  Are you just going through the motions, somehow, like the walking dead?

Your dream also suggests that you are more highly regarded than you know.  If after your loss, you’ve removed yourself from the action, so to speak, the smart, funny, skilled part of yourself asks the question of your less active, more zombie-like self, “What will we do without her?”  On some level this is the question you’re asking yourself. 

You know it’s happening to you.  You recognize the symptoms as your own.  But why would you change your voice and go unrecognized?  Why become a zombie when you have a fun and engaging life calling to you?  You are strong enough to go on, Dear Dreamer!  You control the remote!  

Sweet Dreams to You!

SMYD

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You Might be Eleanor Roosevelt!

Our Dreamer Writes:

Dear SMYD,

Here’s a weird one for you:  I dreamed that Eleanor Roosevelt was in the precarious and even comical position of trying to climb onto the top shelf of an étagère.  The shelves displayed ceramic figurines of Victorian men and women.  Each time Ms. Roosevelt would get to a top shelf and start to station herself there, the cabinet would wobble and tip.  She’d say, “oops!” and start her climb again.  When some of the figurines did fall and break, I began trying to glue them back together, matching heads and bodies as best I could.

Now, I’ve admired Eleanor Roosevelt for many years.  Her dignity in the face of difficult circumstances always impressed me.  She dealt with the public humiliation of her husband’s affairs with more grace than I could ever muster.  She kept her own private life quiet too.  But why in the world would I be dreaming of her?  And what about her ridiculous position in the dream?

Signed,

Friend of Eleanor

 

Dear Friend,

We almost always find that our dreams are talking to us about ourselves.  Yours is no exception.  For a first tip to this likelihood, consider how your narrative of your dream shifts from talking about Ms. Roosevelt, to how you are dealing with the scenario and the “fallout” of her actions.

While you don’t offer details of what’s going on in your waking life, your dream presents some possibilities about your state of mind.  It seems to suggest that you find yourself in precarious circumstances that you consider laughable (“comical”) on some level and even deserving ridicule, just as Ms. Roosevelt does in your dream.  As she is repeatedly trying to station herself among the Victorian figures, perhaps you also are attempting to fit yourself in among Victorian values, or a stiff and formal setting.  She kept up appearances for society’s sake.  Do you find that you also are presenting a front to the world that is out of sync with your private life or thoughts?

Each time she almost gets herself situated the show (the display case) tips and teeters, and sometimes, the Victorian image falls apart.  It’s you who tries to recreate the image by piecing together mismatched heads and bodies. 

That mismatch could also speak to a break between what a person thinks intellectually as opposed to what she knows intuitively.  Discounting gut feelings is a tricky business Dear Dreamer, and seldom offers peace of mind or security of station.

Does this dream mean your husband is having affairs, or that you’re secretly gay?  Probably not.  It’s just as likely that the dream illustrates a waking life drama with parallel story lines playing itself out in your daily situation. 

To get to a dream’s underlying theme, it can be helpful to restate it in general terms:  Someone is trying to get comfortable in a public display of outdated values.  When the façade is broken, someone tries to piece it back together.  Ring a bell?

Sweet Dreams to You, Dear Dreamer!

SMYD

sendmeyourdreams@mail.com       

Dreams Persist 'til You Progress

Dear Dreamers,

Working with our dreams can provide some of the most dazzling insights into our lives.  Presenting colorful and dramatic metaphors, power-packed with emotion, dreams are a key to personal growth.  With this in mind, let’s look at a couple of the most common types of dreams:  Recurring dreams and series of dreams.

Though sometimes the most confounding and frustrating, recurring dreams can be some of the easiest to tie directly to our waking lives.  It’s a pretty sure bet that if you’re having a recurring dream, that dream presents itself at the same time certain circumstances repeat in your “real” life. 

So, for example, if every six months you dream that you’re shackled to your desk and wearing washed out, faded clothes at work, it’s worth looking at your work calendar.  Do performance reviews come around every six months?  Are you frustrated and wondering why you keep getting passed over for promotion?  In dream language you might label that situation and its accompanying frustration being shackled to your desk!  Your washed out clothes could represent your faded status in the work place.

Noted dream researcher Jeremy Taylor says our dreams don’t tell us what we already know.  I agree, and I would add that in certain circumstances, our dreams may be calling to our attention something that we know, but don’t want to know.  We may know our work standards have been waning, but we make excuses.  We blame our boss, our competitors, the economy, or anything but ourselves for the shackles that hold us at the same old desk. 

Our dreams won’t make excuses for us.  Instead, they will more often point out with graphic certainty what we haven’t faced in our waking lives.

Whenever a recurring dream plays in your nighttime cinema, make a note of it.  Since you know this dream so well, you don’t have to write an essay about it; just jot down the date and something like, “Shackled to the desk again.  Faded clothes.  So frustrating!”  Be sure to include the emotions!

Now make some notes about your waking life.  This is key.  What’s going on at work?  What’s happening at home, with a project, with family or friends?  Any of these might be important because next time the dream recurs, you’re almost sure to see that one of these circumstances is recurring as well!  That’s what your dream’s talking about. 

Most dreamers can make these connections after only two or three recurrences and their accompanying notes.  Be sure, this dream will keep coming until you make changes!

Many of us produce series of dreams, just like a series of TV shows.  Over time, episodes play out around a similar theme.  If you have a series of dreams in which you’re in the role of teacher, for example, this is parallel to a situation you’ve settled into or are exploring, for the better or worse.  Such dreams can point out milestones, obstacles, progress or stagnation.

In every case, your dreams arrive bearing gifts of self-knowledge.

Sweet Dreams to You, Dear Dreamer!

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