Dream interpretation - Neglected house – neglected health

 Often we will have someone in our dreams whom we don’t recognize – a person in the shadows – someone we can’t quite see.  Most likely, that person represents our “shadow self,” a part of ourselves that we don’t see or don’t recognize – a blind spot in our self-assessment.  Our dreams point out that that part of ourselves needs attention.  Today’s dreamer has turned her focus to the part of herself she neglected for many years.

Dear Carolyn,

I will be 80 years old soon.  Being this old can be a shock!  There are some good things about it, but health can be a problem, especially since I smoked cigarettes for almost 50 years!  Stupid, I know.  I quit more than 10 years ago, but I’m still paying for that horrible addiction.  I am doing what I can to live a more healthy life now even though it is late in the game! 

I dreamed that I was in the home of a dark-skinned woman.  She was always off to the side in the shadows, just out of my sight.  Anyway, her house was a mess and I couldn’t believe how difficult her life is.  Everything she tried to do was a difficult chore.  If she wanted to get ready to go out, it was hard.  If she wanted to have a meal, it was hard.  Her house was dark and the floor was sticky.  I looked up and saw that the tar from her roof had seeped into the house and gummed up everything.

I decided to take her over to my house to spend the weekend so she could have a nicer life, even if it was only for a little while.  Then I woke up.

Signed,

Good Samaritan

Dear Samaritan,

Houses in our dreams may be representative or our bodies.  And the person in the shadows may be that part of you that you have not paid attention to until recently.  She now lives in the house that 50 years of smoking built.  Because of her advanced age and the tar that has dripped onto everything, her life is dark and difficult. 

You mention that in your waking life you are making changes to improve your lifestyle.  Your dream reflects this as you invite your shadow self to move to a place where life is not so difficult.  The fact that she’ll visit only for the weekend may reflect your current timeline. 

You spent half a century smoking, damaging your body, the house you live in.  Now many things are even more difficult that you might expect at your current age.  As you say, Dear Dreamer, even though it’s late in the game, you may be able to enjoy your remaining time by inviting your struggling self to live in a healthier environment.

Sweet Dreams to You!

Dream Interpretation - Dream offers progress report

At pivotal moments in our waking lives, our dreams will present us with a review of where we’ve been and where we are now.  Such dreams highlight what might have been along with newly formed strengths and go on to point out where we can go next.  This is the case with today’s dreamer.

Dear Carolyn,

Recently I decided to coordinate a group effort with my dysfunctional siblings.  At my urging we got together for the purpose of helping our father financially.  That may have triggered old feelings.  Also – FYI - The silent distant daughter is part of my waking life – there is a long-term painful rift between my daughter and me.  And, the idea of being the victim of theft and the missing baby are familiar recurrent themes in my dreams.  

In my waking life I would never be violent!  I hardly ever confront people verbally.  This time, however, I took things into my own hands more than ever before in the dream world.

So, last night I had a nightmare in which I walked with my silent adult daughter but she would not say why she shunned me.  In the dream there was a missing baby and my car, money, and my clothing had been stolen.  Oh, and the clothes were stolen in the dream just as I was waiting to try them on--another woman got them away somehow.  Inside a house a loud laughing family --mostly men --gathered around a dining table.  I lunged, tore, and scratched one of the men until he agreed to tell me what was going on.  Later I peered over the dressing room door for a glimpse of where the woman had hidden other things and who was she?

Signed,

Victim No More

Dear Victim No More,

You offer a complex set of long-standing circumstances, mindsets, and emotional turmoil as a backdrop for your dream. 

Several elements of your dream are important in seeing it as a ‘progress report.’  It begins with a recap of several important themes in your life – most notably the missing child that hampered your means and ability (the car and money) to navigate through your days.

It seems in organizing a family meeting, and perhaps in other ways, you have begun to take on a new, more assertive persona – represented by the clothes you were just about to try on.  And, your demands to understand the inappropriate laughter may have seemed violent as compared to your prior passive way of acting on or accepting your life’s circumstance.  The burst of anger and frustration reflects your pent up emotions exploding to the surface. 

Even though the vestiges of your new self are purloined, Dear Dreamer, you pursue them with vigor.  You peek over the dressing room wall to see who that new woman – the new you – might be.  Your dream suggests you’ve left the victim mentality behind and are on the path of a new, stronger you.  

Sweet Dreams to You!

Dream interpretation - Learn to love that cobra!

One of the most powerful strategies when working with a scary dream is to confront the monster in it.  Today’s dreamer does so and gets dramatic results, even if she doesn’t recognize them at first.

Dear Carolyn,

By way of background I’ll tell you that I just attended a workshop in which we took personality assessments to learn aboutourselves.  I tested as a sort of unassuming, unassertive type who prefers to make herself invisible.  It’s true.  I keep the real me a secret, rarely sharing or letting people get to know me.  I have always told myself that I don’t matter, at least not as much as other people.  That’s how I usually think, but I’m working on it, trying to value myself more.  

After the workshop I had this dream:  I had a cobra in a small white bucket with a lid on it.  I decided to give it some water and when I did, it began to grow, fast!  It became giant instantly!  It was huge, a monster!  It began to chase me and was determined to get me. 

I was afraid, terrified, and so began to climb a tree to get away from it; but I knew I could never be high enough to elude it.  Sure enough, it rose up next to me in the top of the tree.  I began to plead with it, “Please don’t eat me!”  It shrank back down into the bucket.  Then I felt bad that it was there in such an unhealthy place, so tightly contained.  I knew I couldn’t give it to anyone else since it was so dangerous.  I felt responsible for making it more comfortable and I thought maybe a larger container would be a good idea.

Signed,

Chased by a Cobra

Dear Chased,

As indicated by the background you provided, your dream likely is characterizing a part of you identified at the workshop you attended.  The quiet, unassuming part of you countered by a cobra in a bucket.  With only a small encouragement – the water you offer – that part of you rises up and takes on the quality of a monster unleashed.  Your terror and flight suggest that you are afraid of your own power.  You beg it not to consume you.  This most likely addresses your waking fear that if you assert yourself, you might be taken over by a dangerous, angry, powerful part of yourself that you don’t know how to control.

An important take-away from your dream is that when you speak to the snake, it responds immediately.  It tames itself and returns to the confines of its bucket.  You are in control, Dear Dreamer, even when exploring unfamiliar aspects of your personality.  

As your dream ends, you begin thinking of how you can make that cobra, that powerful, assertive part of yourself, more comfortable.  Give it some more room.  Allow it to expand into a larger, healthier container – one you can grow into and be comfortable with.

Sweet Dreams to You!

sendmeyourdreams@yahoo.com        

Dream Interpretation - Teacher fails himself

When a dreamer must pass a test, or endure a review of his performance, his own harsh attitude toward himself comes through.  He seems to believe that he has done nothing that he should have.  But, his dream directs him to ‘write a page from his favorite book.’  That would be an excellent ‘take away’ from today’s dream about a life review.

Dear Carolyn,

I have begun to accept that I am now in the lastphase of my life.  I was forced out of a career I loved – teaching – by budget cuts in my school district and “early retirement.”  It has taken me quite a long time, several years, to come to terms with the fact that I wasn’t really ready to leave.  I felt rejected and angry.  But now, I’m over it and trying to look forward.  I am sending you the anxious dream I just had this morning.  It brings back bad memories.

I’m a teacher and it’s the last day of school.  I am totally unprepared!  The report cards are sitting on my desk, not even started on.  I have barely taught them any math at all!  I wonder if they even know the times tables and wonder if I can teach them basic skills and even double-digit multiplication quickly.  I decide  to do a spelling lesson on “ou” – though, thought, through etc.  I tell the kids that they will have to write a page about their favorite book.  I am embarrassed because next year’s teacher will know immediately that I haven’t taught them anything.

Signed,

Old Teacher

Dear Teacher,

Your dream is set perfectly since you were a teacher – one who evaluates others’ progress.  And, you are now at the moment in life where it is natural to look back and assess yourself – write your own report card.

Somehow, though, you find yourself “totally unprepared” to complete your own report card.  Perhaps this moment has come on you suddenly, even though you have had several years to prepare yourself.  Your anger may have delayed a normal reflection on a phase of life that has ended.  Your anxious dream suggests that you may not have thought through to the point where you now find yourself, and beyond.  It finds you a bit frantically casting about for what you have accomplished.

You are quite hard on yourself, Dear Dreamer, based on what you assume others will think of you – that you haven’t taught – or learned – anything.  This simply isn’t so.  Take a tip from your own directions to your dream students:  Write a page about your favorite memories.  That is to say, begin to make notes of your best times in the classroom, your most rewarding moments with students, your favorite recollections from the rewarding career that you loved.  Then tuck them away on a bookshelf as you look ahead to the rest of your life.  If you regress to your bitter feelings, pull out that book and read it again.

Sweet Dreams to You!

Dream Interpretation - Keep the faith!

Most dreams depict the dreamer’s personal circumstances metaphorically.  But sometimes, they just tell it like it is.  Today’s dreamer is presented with a pretty direct likeness of how he’s feeling along with a take-away message that is right on point.  He needs only to recognize his strengths.

Dear Carolyn,

I am a young writer, trying to get a break into the successful, published world.  I know I’m good, but it’s very hard to make any headway.  I’ve had a few things accepted and published – some wins – which is encouraging, but I also feel discouraged a lot of the time.  It seems like there is too much to do that doesn’t have anything to do with writing.  I don’t even know some of the stuff I should be doing!  And I don’t have a lot of money and I’m not sure who to trust.

In my dream, it’s two of my idols (I’m also a boxing fan):  Sugar Ray Leonard challenges Evander Holyfield to a fight.  Holyfield doesn’t want to fight him, but Leonard keeps on taunting him.  They are in the ring.  Maybe I am Sugar Ray Leonard – I am seeing all this from the corner of the ring behind SRL – like him, I’m small and out of my weight class, but feisty and determined to have a fight. 

Finally, Holyfield says OK, and hits Leonard in the face.  It is immediately clear that I am out of my weight class and over my head.  Holyfield hits Leonard a second and third time.  Leonard is helpless, beaten, pulverized in moments.  But he does not give up.  He will not give up.

Is this dream telling me to hang up my writing gloves?

Signed,

Sugar Ray

Dear Sugar Ray,

You might think that your dream shows you out of your weight class and picking a fight you can only lose.  But look again at these two fighters whom you idolize – both are winners and both represent parts of you. 

You first take the role of Sugar Ray Leonard who was noteworthy at least in part because he did keep fighting.  Remember, he retired more than once and came back to fight and win again and again.  He fought in multiple weight classes and was successful.  He fought when others thought he should not.  You mentioned you don’t know who to trust – Sugar Ray trusted his instincts and persisted even when the going was rough.  Tap into this determination in yourself!

Your dream choses Evander Holyfield to represent your other positive traits.  You are aware that he was nicknamed “The Real Deal” because of his multiple talents in the ring and solid character, just like you in the writing arena.

As you know, these two never actually fought each other.  In your dream, they represent two parts of yourself.  You win either way!  Have faith in your strong suits, Dear Dreamer, and keep writing.  Now is not the time to hang up your gloves.

Sweet Dreams to You!

sendmeyourdreams@yahoo.com         

The Dearly Departed in our dreams

Dreams of loved ones who have passed away are often reported near to the event of their passing, sometimes repeatedly and sometimes, even years later.  Like all dreams, these ‘visitation’ dreams may have multiple meanings for the dreamer.  They also present the question as to whether we can accept them literally.  Today’s dreamer offers a poignant example of these emotional and typically comforting dreams.

Dear Carolyn,

I am a Christian and I believe what the Bible tells me.  I always try to be a good person because I want to go to Heaven when I die.  I have been living with my uncle for quite a while.  I have been on hard times and he was the only family I had left!  Then, a couple of months ago, he got sick and sicker and died all of a sudden.  I have been so worried about him because even though he was raised to believe in God, he didn’t always do the right thing.  He was as good as he could be to me, but he wasn’t very nice to different people.  After crying about this so much and worrying all the time about what happened to him after he died, I had this dream:

I am sleeping on my uncle’s couch, like always.  Suddenly, he comes into the room with me!  I know that he’s dead, but there he is as big as life!  Anyway, he walked right past me with a big smile on his face.  I sat up and watched him go toward the back of the house where he went through the kitchen and out the back door, but instead of the back yard, it was all sky, blue sky! 

It felt so real and I woke up crying tears of joy!  It looked like my uncle is happy and OK and that he went out the back door to Heaven!  Can it really be true what I think it means?

Signed,

Relieved

 Dear Relieved,

You are among the legions of dreamers who have had just such dreams as yours – dreams of a deceased loved one who appears in a dream and ‘seems so real.’  Dreamers report that these dreams have a quality of truth different from normal, surreal dreams.  Even though the dreamer wants to believe that the dearly departed actually did appear in the dream, it’s almost too good to be true.

Dreams such as yours can be understood in many ways, as can all dreams.  We could talk about your uncle as a representative part of yourself, for example.  However, given your state of mind, Dear Dreamer, and your deep concern over your uncle’s next life, it seems clear that this dream arrived to comfort you.  In spite of his questionable choices in waking life, in your dream your uncle lives with a smile on his face, just as you have hoped he could. 

Indeed, he found a back door to Heaven!

Sweet Dreams to You!

Dream Interpretation - Old houses indicate old states of mind

Dreams of houses often reflect the dreamer’s state of mind.  The home is where s/he lives mentally or emotionally when it comes to a particular aspect of waking life.  Today’s dreamer returns with some longing for her residence of many years to find a new perspective on her memories.

Dear Carolyn,

While I was on vacation I had two dreams set in my old house, the home I lived in for 38 years and moved from two years ago.  I was so proud of that home ~ so many memories and so much personal growth!  Transitions, change can be so hard.  I have some nostalgia for our life before the move.  Here is what I remember of the dreams:

I am showing the home to a couple, both of whom are former clients.  He is a member of a spiritual group, Sufi; she is a lute musician.  I was their massage therapist.  So, we are outside the master bedroom which had a beautiful garden with azaleas and rhododendron.  The bushes are small and rounded and I make some excuse that they need help and the new owners have given me permission to be here and I will do the maintenance.  Then as we go into house and I am going to show them around, the wife gets a gleeful, playful look in her eyes and says,"First I'm going to use the bathroom!!!"  End.  

The other fragment of a dream took place in the guest bedroom that looked as it did right before we moved, empty.  I did my yoga practice in this clean empty room.

Signed,

Home Sick

Dear Home Sick,

In your dream you return to the home you were most proud of with a spiritual and artistic couple, those parts of yourself that flourished there.  By way of excusing the diminished state of the flowering plants there, you say that the new owners have given you permission to hang around and do the maintenance on those plants.  

The setting and your actions may indicate that you are working to maintain some of the past beauty and ambiance of that home in your current circumstance.  It also suggests that perhaps all things were not so big and healthy as you thought they were.  In retrospect, some things may seem empty, as did the guest room where you worked before.  The shock of this feeling sets the tone for your look back.

The sequence in which the new resident is going to the restroom before she looks around may speak to a need for you to ‘eliminate’ some negative emotions or memories before maintaining the plants that seem stunted and need help. 

Regarding her apparent glee in your dream ~ her happy anticipation of going to the restroom before you begin your maintenance of the gardens:  What a relief it can be to leave some "stuff" behind!  In fact, Dear Dreamer, to truly cultivate the beautiful memories and ambiance of that residence, you must leave that stuff behind!

Sweet Dreams to You!