Dream to Dreamer: Go your own way

Our dreams speak to us in the universal language of symbols and metaphors.  Certain archetypal images apply no matter the culture of the dreamer.  Today’s dreamer offers an excellent case in point.

Dear SMYD,

In my country, marriages are made with promises.  “Lola” promised me and I love her so much.  My aunt says to Lola that I am not serious with her.  I tried to prove to her that I am serious.  I am even praying that I want to get married to this lady.  My pressure is that I may not lose her but get her for my life.

I dreamt crossing the river.  We were many; but the river has little water which was also pure.  In some places we were walking on the dry sand to avoid getting wet.  Others looked to be afraid.  So we were all encouraging each other that no people left behind.  Faith works.  As we crossed we were singing a certain song that says believe all are possible.  We manage to cross through. 

After crossing I took my own way.  Others were going to the near town, but it seems to me I was going to another town.  But I was able to communicate with them as if I am with them.  One lady said I will deposit you the money which I have.  So I was happy. 

Then I saw Lola, but we are not yet in agreement.  Lola said my aunt told her, “He doesn’t mind about you.”  I said, “No it is not true.”  Then we were in the river bank after crossing.  That’s where I met her.  The forest of that place was so beautiful and was green but there was a way which we were using to pass.

So please what does this mean?

Signed,

Wanting to Marry Lola

Dear Wanting,

Crossing a river is symbolic of crossing any threshold into a new way of thinking and a new life.  Your dream reflects that crossroads in your life.  You must be brave and cross into new territory in order to prove yourself and have the one you love.

Perhaps you have been afraid like the people in your dream.  Your dream points out that you must now go your own way – to the other town, not the one that is closest and easiest to get to.  Even though your fears come to the forefront, a song of encouragement assures you that faith works and all things are possible. 

Sure enough, Dear Dreamer, when you reach the other side, you learn that the “money is in the bank.”  And better still, Lola is there waiting for you.

Your dream offers you confidence that though you may feel anxious, now is not the time to follow the crowd.  This is how you prove to yourself and Lola that you are serious.  Only when you go your own way are your prayers answered.  It is then that you find yourself in the beautiful and green forest with the woman you love.

Sweet Dreams to You!

SMYD

sendmeyourdreams@yahoo.com        

Dream Interpretation - Sobriety signals the end of innocence

Our dreams may reflect our current status to us.  Today’s dreamer reports such an instance.  There’s a reason for the reflection.  We have to know where we are to know where we’re going.  Such dreams help take account of the present and bolster our understanding of how to move forward.

Dear SMYD,

My parents say I took a detour on my way to success.  That’s their way of saying that I messed up.  For more than five years after high school I got into some pretty bad things, mostly drugs.  I was addicted to meth and all the bad things that go along with meth addiction came to me.  I was in and out of rehab a couple of times and even went to jail. 

But now I’m back to my old self.  I’ve been clean and sober for almost two years; I’m working and back in school to advance myself.  It has been very scary and I felt lost and hopeless for a long time.  But I’m feeling stronger every day now.  So this dream really bothers me: 

I dreamed that I saw a group of my old friends from high school.  I used to hang out with all these girls.  We played soccer and had a lot of classes together.  I was so happy to see them.  I called out and waved to them.  But they weren’t glad to see me.  They weren’t rude exactly, but it was like they didn’t recognize me.  They just kind of looked past me, or looked at me like I was a stranger.  It really hurt my feelings and I didn’t know what to do.  I woke up feeling sad and confused. 

Signed,

Sober but Sad

Dear Sober,

Congratulations on your sobriety.  Your road has been arduous.  The tone of your letter suggests you have seen a lot and learned a lot – much of it the hard way!  Your detour, as your parents called it, took you far afield of your original trajectory in life.  Yet here you are – clean, sober and back on the well-lighted path to a life of achievement.  Good for you!

Your dream offers a reflection of where you once were, where you started, and where you cannot go again.  Even though, in your newly sober state, you may feel in some ways like your old self, you are no longer the girl you were in high school.  

You cannot unlearn the lessons you’ve learned.  You cannot forget your experiences.  Metaphorically, you cannot return to the innocence portrayed by your teammates and classmates in your dream.  You would not recognize each other.  Your experiences have separated you from them.

That is the sadness of what you’ve been through.  It’s not uncommon to realize that we no longer have anything in common with our old friends, though your experience is more dramatic than most.  It’s the bittersweet taste of growing up.  

Don’t lose sight of the future, Dear Dreamer.  It’s bright for you now.

Sweet Dreams to You!

Dreamers converge in Berkeley, CA

Dear Dreamers,

I am excited to be attending the annual conference of the International Association for the Study of Dreams this week.  One of the most pragmatic features of the conference comprises the four hour-long sessions wherein attendees can work directly with leading researchers and practitioners in the ‘field of dreams.’  I may join Past President of the IASD, Robert Gongloff, again this year to delve even deeper into the Heart of the Dream, as he calls his exploration approach to dream material.

In previous columns, I have shared research from dream interpretation icon Patricia Garfield, Ph.D.  She is co-founder of the IASD and her wealth of knowledge of dreams and dreamers from around the world forms a foundational base for understanding common dream themes as a part of our shared, cross-cultural dream experience. 

We spoke earlier about four of the 12 most common dream themes Garfield identifies in her book The Universal Dream Key:  Being chased or attacked, falling or drowning, missing the boat and being lost or trapped.  Here are two more of the recurring themes you’ll recognize from your own nocturnal travels!

Being injured, ill or dying v. being healed, born or reborn.  Garfield notes that this relatively common dream sometimes occurs at the onset of an actual illness.  Further, the usual, less literal meaning of such dreams as they equate to the dreamer’s waking life could be stated as: I feel hurt emotionally.  I feel damaged or wounded.  Or, I’m afraid I will be hurt.  These dreams may speak as a warning about a physical risk that the dreamer is contemplating, or about the emotional risks of pursuing unhealthy relationships.

Conversely, dreams of being healed, born or reborn reassure the dreamer that s/he has a restored waking ability or emotional repair.  Garfield goes on to say that being born or reborn, or giving birth in your dreams can signify the awakening or reawakening of a ‘lost’ part of you.

Being naked or inappropriately dressed in public v. being well-dressed.  Common among dreamers in Garfield’s study, and familiar to all of us, these dreams typically occur when we feel vulnerable or exposed in waking life.  We feel awkward or without protection. 

Garfield suggests starting with some guiding questions as you begin to explore the application of such dreams to your waking life:  Where was I in the dream?  Home?  School?  Work?  The answer to this question will offer insights into what area of your waking life has you feeling unprotected or weak.  Your reactions to your nudity in the dream can also help pinpoint the crux of the desperate or fearful emotions.  In effect, how you handle your exposure in your dream is key to successful navigation of the waking circumstance!

It follows that dreaming of being well-dressed would speak to the sensation of confidence in your waking life.  Perhaps your dream is urging you to act more confidently in a waking situation alluded to by the dream. 

The IASD Conference is in Berkeley this week, Wednesday through Sunday.  Hope to see you there!

Sweet Dreams to You!

sendmeyourdreams@yahoo.com